Broken Mask
by Bandito Sun
Summary: Clare's mask of sanity is put into jeopardy when she meets someone from her mysterious past and grows closer to Fitz. Will she be able to keep it all together, or will her secret be exposed to all? Sex, drugs, violence and FLARE. Sequel to "The Cover-Up"
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hello again, all. It's sequel time! They often say that the sequel is never as good as the original, something I have always been a firm believer in. However, that's not going to stop me from attempting to continue on with this little project. Something worth mentioning: this story is and always will be AU. I am ignoring the events that have occurred in "In Too Deep": plot lines such as Fiona's rehab visit, Fiona and Adam's falling out and Fitz's finding of Jesus have no part in this story. I am writing Fitz as the badass he was meant to be...and then some. For those of you who have not read my last story "The Cover-Up", you will have no idea of what's going on here. Hell, I don't even know what's going on here. But for those of you who did read my last story, what can you expect from this one? More violence, more bad behavior (on Clare's part), a new OC, and like I promised in the past: Flare. Anyway, Read, Review, Enjoy.

Disclaimer: If I did own Degrassi or any of it's characters; the I'd be living in a mansion in Canada right now. But this is not the case.

**BROKEN MASK**

**Chapter 1: A New Alliance?**

Six weeks.

Six weeks had passed since Clare killed Shane Newman, her former best friend, her partner in crime, her first carnal conquest (not that Eli was aware of). In fact, six weeks had passed since she had killed _anything_...and she was beginning to feel it.

The longing for blood, the need to unleash her pent-up anger that posing as "Saint Clare" had so often led to was beginning to drive her mad. Living a double life could be exhausting at times, but trying to avoid living that double life was starting to take a negative toll on her mental well-being. She hid it well from her friends, and Eli as always. But she knew she couldn't repress her dark urges forever; doing that would only lead to another fiasco, such as the one at Fiona's party.

In wasn't like she was trying to avoid sinking into her darkness; the fact of the matter was that she simply didn't have the time. Ever since her drug-induced, public outburst at Fiona's party, she found herself trying to go about her best behavior. It had been difficult, trying to explain her actions to her friends. She was lucky that Eli was so damn accepting and willing to make their relationship work. But having to come clean (half-way anyway) with Alli and Adam proved to be a nerve wracking experience.

The Monday morning after the party, Clare found herself being confronted by a sobbing Alli and very pissed-off Adam. Alli was mostly concerned about her health and safety, mistaking ecstasy as a horribly addictive and detrimental drug to use. Adam, meanwhile was angry at her for being in the company of Shane, but he was even more so peeved at Shane for slipping her the drugs. He continually questioned Clare about his home address, wanting to go there and bash his head in for doing that to her despite her claim that she decided to "no longer be in contact" with the so-called delinquent.

There was no need to mention that Shane Newman was now nothing more than a pile of unidentifiable ash. Miraculously, his body had been burnt so badly that medical examiners couldn't even scrounge for dental records to identify the lone victim in the fire that Clare started. She didn't return to the scene of the crime, but she did read a short blurb about it in the newspaper. Since the fire was in a a bad section of the city, there wasn't much public interest in the death of one unidentifiable person.

However, the subject of Shane Newman led Clare to have to explain her past with him to her current friends. She admitted that while in Catholic school, she faced multiple disciplinary problems because of her shenanigans with Shane. Her parents sent to her to Degrassi not only for the gifted program, but for a fresh start. Needless to say, it was a shock to everyone that the calm and chaste Clare had once been a Catholic school delinquent. In reality, Shane was not the conniving bad influence that she painted him as to her friends; he was her enabler onto a path of darkness.

But now that Shane was gone, she found herself without an enabler or an excuse to resort to her past ways. All she had was the desire to do so, and no space or time to do it.

And here she found herself, on a Wednesday night, alone and bored yet again. Since Eli was off having his traditional "Guy's Night" with Adam, Clare had no strings to hold her back from misbehaving just a little bit. She wasn't even sure if Helen still lived in the house anymore; they mostly communicated through sticky notes and the occasional envelope of cash for dinner and groceries.

Walking along the darkening streets, Clare's footsteps automatically led her to her old stomping grounds; the park where she and Shane had so often tortured animals and gotten plastered. She felt herself smile faintly at the distant memory. A chill, having nothing to do with her thoughts, washed over her. Despite the closeness of summer, the lack of sunshine still managed to produce a nippy Toronto night. Clare regretted her decision to not bring a sweater.

"Feeling a bit chilly, Edwards?" a familiar voice called out from behind her. Clare whipped around to see a dark figure hunched over on a park bench. Despite the lack of light, Clare was still able to conclude who the voice belonged to.

"Fitz?" Clare questioned. Fitz fidgeted a bit and pulled out his cell phone, opening it to illuminate his face.

"In the flesh." he smirked. "Where's your boyfriend?"

Clare shrugged, "Guy's night with Adam."

"I wasn't talking about _that_ boyfriend." Fitz glowered. "I was talking about that other guy I once saw you here with." Clare knew that he was referring to Shane, she couldn't help but smile to herself as she thought back to that night. Not only had she told off KC, but she literally scared the piss out of Fitz as payback for his Vegas Night stunt.

"We're not really on speaking terms anymore." Clare answered calmly.

"Hn." Fitz muttered. He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a flask. "Drink?" he questioned with a smirk. Clare could tell by his tone that he didn't expect her to accept. She offered him a smirk of her own and plucked the flask from his hand while plopping down on the bench beside him.

"Thank you." she smiled. She twisted off the top and tilted her head back, bringing the flask to her lips. Fitz watched in awe as she emptied the entire contents of the container into her throat, showing no trace of disgust or gagging.

Clare sighed as she tossed the now-empty flask back to it's owner. She could feel an intoxicated warmth flowing through her body, her earlier need for a sweater now eradicated.

"Shit. I meant for you to take a sip, not chug the entire thing." Fitz chuckled. She eyed him warily, thinking back to her last encounter with Fitz months ago where she had shown her true colors and practically assaulted him.

"I was thirsty." Clare shrugged. Fitz and laughed and shook his head.

"I don't get you, Edwards. You act like this perfectly nice, straight-edge girl around all your friends. But get you alone, and you're like a less-slutty version of Bianca." He stared at her, expectantly. "Is it me?"

"Is what you?" Clare asked.

"That brings this side of you out? Do I piss you off that much?" Clare chuckled, thinking back to last time she saw Fitz when she had scared him into soiling himself.

"Don't flatter yourself, Fitz. It's just the way I am." she got up from the bench and turned to bid Fitz goodbye when a barking in the distance distracted her. It was not a barking that one would associate with a normal dog, calling out to his companions. But rather, a dog that had never gotten a rabies shot and was on the move to kill.

A sick feeling descended on Clare, thinking back to what started it all; the horrid experience of watching her mother torn to pieces by ravenous dogs.

The barking was becoming louder in volume; getting closer.

"Clare?" Fitz questioned. Her sudden change in demeanor was not lost on him.

A rustling in the bushes was their only warning before an angry looking German Shepherd lunged out towards the two teens, foam dripping from his mouth. He set his eyes on Clare, the closer target.

"Look out!" Fitz yelled. He lept up from his place on the bench just in time to shove the shell- shocked girl out of harm's way and deliver a hard kick to the dog's chest. The dog whimpered slightly and fell to the ground for only a moment before picking himself up and lunging towards Fitz.

Fitz grabbed onto the dog's neck with both hands before he could sink his teeth into him. Clare watched from her place on the ground as Fitz struggled to keep the mongrel under control. Despite his size and strength, Fitz was beginning to have trouble keeping the dog in one place.

And then, Clare noticed an object shining on the grass that had fallen from the boy's pocket; something she had last seen months and months ago jammed into a wall in Degrassi as Eli sat shaking besides it. Fitz's knife.

Setting her initial shock aside, Clare scooped up the knife, expertly flicking out the blade and hopping back up on her feet. She bent down slightly between Fitz and the German Shepherd, jamming the blade into the dog's stomach and dragging down, severing it's furry flesh so that the organs resting beneath threatened to spill out to the ground. The dog whimpered and fell to it's side, dead.

Clare breathed in deeply, trying to steady her rapid heartbeat.

"What the hell?" Fitz muttered, staring down at the dog and then towards Clare. A wave of panic washed over her at the realization of what she had done. She had let her mask slip, once again, but in the worse way possible. She had let another witness her murderous rage.

Clare closed the knife and shoved into Fitz's hands. "Here." she muttered, turning on her heel to make a quick getaway. She wasn't in the mood to explain herself.

A strong, but gentle hand enclosed around her bicep, halting her movements. She whipped her head towards Fitz, a snarky comment ready on her tongue. But then, she saw his face; it wasn't a look of disgust or shock, but rather concern and dare she say- admiration?

"Are you okay?" Fitz whispered.

Clare nodded her head softly. "Yeah, I just..." she paused, trying to think of a believable excuse, "I don't like dogs." she muttered lamely. She stared down at her hands, soaked and sticky with blood

Fitz breathed out, uneasily. "You must really hate them then." He eyed her with a curious uncertainty.

"I should go." Clare mumbled, turning to walk away.

"No, don't!" Fitz said with a slight trace of desperation in his voice. "Don't go, stay for a minute. Talk to me."

"I don't want to talk."

"Then just sit." Fitz ordered calmly, pulling her alongside him to the bench. Clare relented.

Fitz remained silent for nearly a full minute, looking straight ahead into the darkening night, a million thought running through his mind. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a tattered bandanna, he handed it to Clare who wordlessly began wiping the blood from her hands.

"That wasn't the first time you ever killed something, wasn't it?" he whispered softly.

Clare closed her eyes in defeat, her failure to keep her cool combined with the effects of the alcohol prohibited her from thinking up a creative lie.

"No, it wasn't."

A look of shock washed over Fitz's face before softening to an understanding smile. "Okay then."

"Okay, what?" Clare questioned, not knowing what he was getting at.

"I just wanted to make sure." he paused, "because if that was your first time killing a dog, then I'd have to say; you're a real natural." he chuckled softly.

Clare couldn't find within herself to join in his laughter, "You can't tell anyone about this."

Fitz shrugged, "Who would believe me? Little Saint Clare killing a rabid dog? People would just laugh it off, maybe have me committed to the nut house." he chuckled darkly. "Don't worry, your secret's safe with me."

"What's the catch?" Clare asked suspiciously.

"What catch?"

"Do you really think I expect you to keep this quiet for nothing?" she asked sardonically.

"I could do that, if you really wanted," he grinned widely, "how about your virginity?" he asked jokingly. Clare couldn't help but wince inwardly at that comment. Her virginity was long gone, and the only person who was aware of that fact was dead.

"I can't give you that."

"Of course not, already promised it to Emo boy, right? Has he bought you a ring yet?" Fitz snapped, his mood soured at the thought of the boy who hated so much.

Clare rolled her eyes. "Look, just tell me what you want in return to keep this quiet and I'll be on my way."

Fitz thought to himself for a minute before turning back to Clare. "I want your friendship. I want to hang out with you. And let me stress that it is _you_ who I want to spend time with. Not that good girl act you put up for everyone else. I want to get to know this booze chugging, dog-killing girl who goes mistakenly mislabeled as Saint Clare."

Clare couldn't help but taken back at his request, not mention his verbal prowess.

"Fine." she agreed, "but if Eli or anyone at school finds out-"

"No one will find out." Fitz assured her. "Summer's coming up, everyone will be too busy with their own shit to worry about gossip. Now give me your phone." Clare shot him a questioning look, "so that I can give you my number, not steal it." he assured her.

Clare pulled her phone out of her pocket and passed it to Fitz. He punched in his name and number into her contacts list, being sure to send a text to his own phone so that he would have her number as well. He smirked as he handed her phone back to her.

"I listed my number under my first name, just in case Emo-boy goes through your phone when you're not looking." Fitz explained.

"He doesn't." Clare answered shortly. She kept her attention on her phone, scrolling through her list of contacts until she reached one that was unfamiliar to her- _Mark F. _She laughed lightly. "I wasn't even aware that you had a first name."

"It's the same case for most people." He glanced down at his phone, noticing the late hour. "You should head home, wouldn't want mommy and daddy to worry about you being out late on a school night."

She laughed bitterly, "My dad's dead and my mother is never home," Fitz's grin fell, "but you're right. Can't be late for school."

"I'm sorry." Fitz said. Clare could almost swear that his sympathy was genuine, but brushed the thought off.

"What about you? Do you even go to school anymore?" Clare questioned.

"Home school," Fitz explained.

"Right," she nodded. "Thanks for the drink." she lifted herself off the bench and began walking away.

"I'll call you later, Edwards." Fitz called out to her retreating form, "Sweet dreams!"

Although she didn't show it externally, Clare was still in a state of shock. She didn't know whether her agreement with Fitz would lead to an unexpected friendship, or to another body she would have to dispose of.

Most of her wanted the former option.


	2. Nip it in the butt

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

**Chapter 2: Nip it the Butt**

Clare awoke the next morning to a nauseous feeling in her stomach. She barely managed to turn her alarm clock off before sprinting to the bathroom where she dumped the contents of her stomach into the awaiting toilet bowl.

Normally, hangovers were something that Clare would just brush off and deal with. Pop a couple ibuprofen and chug water throughout the day; maybe take a shot of something to relieve the hangover a bit quicker. But Clare had been drunk and hungover enough times to know that the sickness she was currently feeling had nothing to do with what she drank the night before. Hell, she didn't even drink _that_ much; Fitz's flask was only half-full at best.

Panic swept over her as she thought back to the hours before she killed Shane. They had sex; drug-induced, sweaty, no holds bars sex. And while she could remember seeing Shane slip on a condom, she knew very well that any type of birth control (besides abstinence) was never 100% effective.

"This is not what I need right now." Clare whispered to herself, rubbing her eyebrows in contemplation. But then again, she could have a stomach bug, maybe even food poisoning. Thinking back to her Sex Ed class and the common symptoms of pregnancy, Clare whipped off her shirt and studied herself in the mirror.

She had always been a curvy girl, so it was hard to tell if the slight roundness in her stomach was normal or from embryo forming inside of her. She reached up and gave her breast a gentle squeeze, wincing at it's overly tender state. This was not a good sign.

The sound of her cellphone going off in her bedroom distracted her from the crisis at hand. She pulled her shirt back on with an annoyed sign and walked back into her bedroom.

With no surprise to herself, Eli's name appeared on the screen.

"Hey." she answered, masking the panic and annoyance in her voice.

"Hi Clare, I'm really sorry to do this, but I can't give you a ride to school today."

"That's fine, I'll manage. Taking a mental health day?"

"No, I uh-" his voice wavered a bit.

"Eli? Is everything alright?"

"I just had a little too much to drink last night." he admitted guiltily.

Clare laughed lightly, "Been there before myself once or twice. No need to feel ashamed."

"You are the best girlfriend ever." Eli said gratefully. Ever since Clare had been a bit more open on her experiences with drugs and alcohol, their relationship had been steady. Eli didn't feel as bad, getting drunk behind her back with Adam on Guy's night.

"Do you want me to stop by before school? I could mix up a Bloody Mary for you, nothing like the hair of the dog that bit you." Clare asked slyly. She could hear Eli make gagging noises on the other end.

"No, no- I'm good. Just need some sleep and some water. If anything, Adam's in way worse shape than me. I think he still might be passed out in the living room."

"Well, I hope you feel better." Clare said. "Call me later tonight if you're up to join the living again."

"If I find it within me, I will. Have a good day at school."

"I will, now go get some sleep." she ordered jokingly

"I love you, Clare."

Clare, becoming more and more accustomed to this phrase, didn't miss a bit. "I love you too." and with that she hung up.

At that point, if Clare Edwards really did believe in a higher power like everyone thought she did, she would've dropped to her knees and recited 500 Hail-Marys. Eli's absence from school presented the perfect opportunity to see whether or not she really was knocked up with Shane's bastard child.

* * *

After a quick trip to the pharmacy, Clare found herself anxiously waiting for five minutes to pass. The pregnancy test lay on the counter, taunting her. She paced back and forth, repeatedly reading the instructions on the pink cardboard box the test had come packaged in. After what seemed like hours, the kitchen timer buzzed and Clare rushed over to the counter.

Her stomach dropped.

The pink plus sign starring back at her confirmed it; she was pregnant. Nearly half-way through the first trimester.

"Fuck!" Clare exclaimed to an empty house. The only positive thing about this situation was that she had detected it early, before any real signs would show themselves to the external world. Her mind drifted off to Jenna, and how her pregnancy came about. The dumb bitch lived in denial for nearly five months before she even decided to take a test. Clare allowed herself a dark chuckle; Jenna deserved to be a miserable single mother, not because she had "stolen" KC from her, but because she was a waste of oxygen as far as Clare was concerned.

Clare however, had no plans to be breastfeeding and changing diapers at age sixteen. Adoption was out of the question as well; she sure as hell wouldn't be attending the first half of her junior year being referred to as "the pregnant girl".

No, there was only one reasonable option for her at this point. An option that "Saint Clare" would scoff at and deem immoral. Truthfully though, Clare herself had no hang-ups on the issue.

With a heavy sigh, Clare slipped on her shoes and grabbed her purse. She headed out the door and began walking in the direction of the local clinic.

* * *

Hours later, Clare awoke in a small recovery room containing several other beds, all occupied by girls in similar situations. She felt groggy and nauseous as a result of the anesthesia along with a cramping pain in her stomach combined with a throbbing soreness in her nether regions.

Despite her physical pain, Clare couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief.

The entire thing went over easier than she expected. The doctor at the clinic made her do yet another pregnancy test before setting her up for the abortion procedure. She was able to forgo the trouble of getting parental approval, thanks to a fake ID she had scored just weeks ago. Without Shane around, she was forced to go about her own means when it came to buying alcohol and drugs.

"How are you feeling Ms. Edwards?" a nurse asked while checking her blood pressure with a Sphygmomanometer.

"Sore, nauseated; but otherwise fine." Clare answered. The nurse nodded and turned her attention back to checking her vitals.

"Well, your blood pressure and temperature are normal. I'll just grab your clothes and a prescription for some pain medication and you'll be good to go." she chirped.

"Great." Clare smiled weakly. The nurse walked over to the foot of the bed, pulling out a plastic bag containing her clothes and personal items. She gently handed them over to Clare.

"Is your ride here? Or do you need to make a phone call?"

"Oh no, no need. I walked here."

"Oh, honey," the nurse started sympathetically, "you need someone to drive you home. Standard procedure dictates that we can't let anyone leave without someone to drive them back home."

"I can call a cab."

"It has to be someone you know, sweetheart. Do you have a parent you can call? Maybe a boyfriend?" she asked sweetly. Clare shuddered at the thought of having to call Eli to pick her up from the abortion clinic. He still thought she was still a virgin, of course. Calling Helen was also out of the question for obvious reasons.

"Yeah," Clare lied. "I have someone I can call."

"Good." the nurse smiled. "Get dressed while I go grab that prescription." she pulled the curtains around Clare's bed closed, giving her some privacy to change.

Clare silently cursed inside her thoughts as she whipped back the thin bed sheets and hoisted herself out of bed. She hissed at the slight stinging sensation between her legs and began rifling through her bag for her clothes. Her mind raced as she stripped out of the hospital gown and dressed herself. Who could she call to pick her up?

Seeing as how most of her friends didn't have cars, calling anyone from school was out of the question. Eli, as mentioned before, was not an option. Shane would've been the perfect person to call, had not been dead. Calling Darcy was out of the question as well, since she was dead and secretly buried at the abandoned church. Randall would have been the more understanding parent in a situation such as this; but he too, much like his eldest daughter, had died at the hands of Clare.

And then, her mind clicked.

She pulled out her phone and sifted through her contacts, stopping at one that had been added to her phone less than 24 hours ago. She could only hope that he would answer.

The line rang twice before a deep voice answered with a confused "Hello?"

"Hey, I know this is going to sound weird, but I could really use a favor right now..."

* * *

Thirty minutes later, Clare walked out of the clinic, prescription in hand and Fitz at her side.

They silently loaded into Fitz's pick-up truck, a rusted orange number, and sat unmoving for several moments before Fitz broke the silence.

"This is weird."

"I know, I know. It's completely unexpected and a pain in the ass and I promise I'll make it up you, just please- they wouldn't let me leave until I had someone come to pick me up-" Clare rambled.

"Clare!" Fitz interrupted her, "I didn't mean that any of this is a bother or anything. It's just..." he laughed lightly. "Who would've ever thought that Saint Clare would need to be picked up from the abortion clinic."

"Yeah, I'm just full of surprises." Clare muttered darkly. "Now drive."

Fitz started up the truck and pulled out. "Are you okay?" he asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Sore and sick, but fine." Clare answered shortly.

"Most girls who get abortions are usually emotional wrecks afterward." Fitz pointed out.

"I'm _not_ most girls." Clare snapped. "So I guess this isn't the first time you've given someone a ride home from the abortion clinic?"

"No." Fitz answered softly. "Besides, I thought abortions weren't allowed in your religion."

"I have no religion." Clare answered honestly. "I only let people think I do." Fitz gave her a confused look.

"Why didn't you just call Eli? Why me?" he pressed. "You know, most girls make the baby-daddy drive them home from the abortion clinic."

"I don't see how any of that is your business." Clare snapped.

"Unless of course, Eli isn't the father and you were carrying the next Jesus or something." he continued, "Well I guess if anyone is capable of immaculate conception it would be you right, _Virgin Mary_?" he chuckled.

"I'm surprised that you even know what immaculate conception means." Clare snapped. Fitz's grin immediately fell. "Just shut up and drive me home or let me out so I can just walk." she ordered.

"You can't expect me to _not_ ask questions." Fitz glowered. "You can't just call someone up who you barely know and ask them to drive you home from the abortion clinic without assuming that they'll be asking questions! Nor can you expect me to make you walk all the way home after having a baby vacuumed out of you."

"Look, Fitz, I really don't-" Clare began gagging on the rising bile in her throat. "Oh shit. Pull over!" she ordered with a hand over her mouth.

"What?"

"Pull the fuck over!" she grimaced through clenched teeth. Fitz complied and Clare whipped open the door before the truck had even come to a complete stop. She leaped out and began hurling onto the pavement, ignoring the concerned looks of passers-by. Fitz watched her from the drivers seat; the wheels in his head clicked in place in realization.

"Holy shit." he murmured. Clare finished vomiting and got back into the truck. "It wasn't Eli's, was it?" he asked her.

Clare breathed in deeply and rubbed her temples in annoyance. "No, it wasn't."

"I bet you guys haven't even fucked yet." Fitz smirked.

"Way to piece together the puzzle, Sherlock." Clare mumbled. "Drive." Fitz merged back into traffic and continued on their path. They remained silent for a few minutes. It wasn't until Fitz turned into an empty parking lot did Clare force herself to say something.

"What the hell are you doing?" Clare questioned.

Fitz reached into his shirt pocket and produced a joint, handing it over to her. "I assume you know how to use one of these."

Clare sighed and accepted the joint. She didn't really feel like smoking, but the nausea was still going strong and she needed something to ease her stomach. She stuck the joint in her mouth and allowed Fitz to ignite the end with his lighter. She inhaled the pungent smoke halfheartedly.

"It belonged to that kid I saw you with once, right? That night when Guthrie, Bee and I found you drunk in the park?" Fitz pressed.

"You mean the night where you soiled yourself?" she asked sardonically while passing over the joint. "Yes. It belonged to him."

"Does he know?"

"No," Clare answered honestly. "He moved." she lied, "wouldn't be any help in this situation."

"Damn." Fitz huffed. He brought the joint to his lips and took a long drag. They remained silent for the next few minutes, something that Clare was grateful for. She felt confused, sick, annoyed and angry; truth be told, she hadn't felt this much in weeks. Not since her reconciliation with Eli. And yet, part of her felt oddly...comforted. Almost at home. For some reason, being in Fitz's company in such an outlandish situation didn't strike her as awkward or unfitting. Quite the contrary, she almost felt right. She hadn't felt this relaxed with anyone since her earlier days with Shane. Even in the presence of Eli, she kept her walls up. But here she sat, having practically exposed her entire double life to Mark Fitzgerald, of all people, within the past 24 hours.

And he didn't judge her for it.

"I have a question for you, Edwards." Fitz declared, breaking the comfortable silence.

"Liar, I bet you have a shitload of questions for me." Clare shot back. Fitz whipped his head to look at her in shock, but eased into a relaxed smile when he saw her teasing grin.

"Why'd you cheat on Eli? I thought you guys were like, really into each other."

Clare sighed. She really didn't want to explain this to anyone seeing as how she didn't want anyone to find out. However, she'd exposed herself to Fitz this far, she had nothing else to lose as far as a reputation went with him.

"Simply put, I had needs and Eli wasn't willing to satisfy them. He said it would go against my beliefs, even though he thinks my so-called beliefs are a load of biblical bullshit."

Fitz nodded slowly, drinking in this shocking revelation about the supposedly saintly sophomore.

"Well, if you ever find yourself with _that_ need again," he cocked an eyebrow, "you have my number. I wouldn't mind throwing you a bone...or two." he smirked.

Clare couldn't help but laugh at his shameless flirting, "Not the best thing to say to a girl who just had an abortion...but I'll keep that in mind." Clare smirked right back. Fitz's eyebrows practically disappeared into his hairline. She felt her face get warm after realizing what she just said; why was she returning his flirtatious banter? Granted, Fitz was fairly attractive, but he was also...Fitz. He was an idiot, at least, she thought he was an idiot. But it dawned on her that he was proving to be much more articulate than the neanderthal she had always thought of as.

Clare brushed off the thought and turned her attention back to the diminishing roach between her fingers. She took one last drag before tossing it out the window.

"So..." Fitz drawled, an odd sense of nervousness overtaking him. "Do you have to go home now, or can you chill for a bit?"

Clare was a bit taken back by his request to hang out some more and was about to answer him with a definite "yes", but then her phone began to vibrate.

She pulled out her cellphone to see a new text from Eli.

_I'm feeling much better, but still bored out of my mind._ _Can I come over?-Eli_

"Shit." Clare muttered under her breath. "Fitz, I really appreciate what you did for me today. Not just the ride or the joint, but for your company as well. Seriously." she reassured him.

He noticed the reluctant tone in her voice."Why do I have a feeling that I'm not going to like what you have to say next?" Fitz asked.

"Because you won't." Clare said simply. "I need to get back home...and rest."

"Oh." Fitz's face dropped in obvious disappointment.

"Maybe some other time, yeah?"

"Yeah. Maybe some other time." Fitz muttered, not bothering to look at her. He started up the truck and pulled back onto the main road. The remainder of the ride passed in a slow silence, both teens beating themselves over their heads within their respective minds. Clare noticed the hint of rejection in Fitz's face and voice when she turned down his offer to hang out; she actually wanted to spend more time with him, get to know the man behind the knife-wielding reputation.

But she had worked hard to salvage her relationship with Eli, and she couldn't disappoint him. She texted him back, telling him to wait an hour before coming over. She lied that her mother was home. In truth, she couldn't remember the last time she saw Helen in their house. She didn't really care.

Fitz parked outside of Clare's house and turned towards her.

"Take it easy, all right?"

"I will, don't worry." she paused, "Hey Fitz, are you going to-" Fitz seemed to be reading her thoughts as he interrupted her question.

"I don't plan on telling anyone anything about this, if that's what your wondering." he said calmly. "It's nobody's business but your own." Clare shot him a tired, but grateful smile.

"That means a lot to me, Fitz, it really does." she reached over the center console and placed a hand over his. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." Fitz said with a sad smile. Clare got out of the truck and slammed the door, lingering in the open window for a little while longer.

"Give me a call sometime?" she asked, trying to mask the hopefulness in her voice. She must've done a horrible job of doing so because Fitz's sullen expression immediately brightened into one of glee.

"Definitely." he smirked. Clare shot him one last grin before turning around and heading into her house. She closed the door behind her and leaned against it, placing a hand over her rapidly thumping heart.

Did that really just happen? The bonding, the flirting, the instant sense of trust between the two of them? Clare shuttered at the thought, she had been down this road before, in a way. When she had been dating KC, she was secretly running around with Shane, someone she felt more attracted to in a both an emotional and physical sense.

But things were different with Eli; she was actually fond of him. Although she would return his proclamations of love, she wasn't entirely sure what love felt like. But things felt right with Eli, despite his unwillingness to take their relationship to a more physical level. While she enjoyed spending time with him, she couldn't fool herself from the truth; Eli was just one component of her mask of sanity, shielding her inner darkness from the external world. There were times when she wanted to tell him everything about her; the entire truth about her past. But she was fearful of how he would react.

Things with Fitz, however, were entirely different. He saw her kill an animal and he didn't show disgust or horror, but rather concern and calmness. Nor did he think of her as a horrible person for cheating on Eli and getting an abortion when the person she always portrayed herself as would've never done such a thing. Anyone else would've called her a hypocrite, a fake, a poser.

Clare shook her head at the thought. She couldn't let herself go down this road again. Cheating on KC hardly had any consequences but cheating on Eli with Shane had left her (temporarily) pregnant. Cheating with Fitz had the potential to destroy every aspect of her life as "Saint Clare" that she worked so hard to establish. Not only that, but it would probably kill Eli.

She couldn't allow herself to fall for Fitz. But as a companion, a fellow traveler down the path of darkness, he was without a doubt the perfect match in that sense.

She just couldn't let herself fall in too deep.

* * *

A/N: A Sphygmomanometer, if you were wondering, is the tool doctors and nurses use to measure blood pressure. It's the thing they wrap around your arm which squeezes the hell out of it. I looked it up.


	3. Paranoia Prima

**A/N: Warning. This is a filler chapter. What? I can't give you action every chapter; it would only grow tiresome.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

**Chapter 3: Paranoia Prima**

"Hey Gorgeous." Eli smirked as he waltzed through the front door. Clare obliged him with a heated kiss, before breaking away giving him a tired smile.

"How are you feeling?"

"So much better." he winked, "you taste very minty, I might add." Clare brushed off his compliment with a shrug. She had brushed her teeth and gargled with mouthwash several times in order to rid her mouth of the taste of vomit and weed.

"Dental hygiene has always been a high priority of mine." she grabbed his arm and began leading him upstairs to her room.

"Even higher than your magnificent boyfriend?" Eli teased.

"Yes, but it's only to his benefit." Clare giggled, as she opened the door to her room. Without missing a beat, Eli gently shoved her onto the bed and loomed over her, molding his mouth to hers while his hands skimmed along her sides. Clare allowed herself to fall into the kiss. Her mind drifted off to the day's previous events as a nagging whisper in her subconscious reminded her that physical intimacy was the last thing she needed right now. Clare ignored the thought and moaned as Eli slipped his hands under her shirt and began massaging her breasts through her bra.

In turn, she raked her hands through his thick hair, pulling him away from her mouth. Eli got the hint and began sucking on her collar bone, she sighed in content.

"So, I've been thinking..." Eli muttered huskily against her skin.

"Did it hurt?" Clare quipped. Eli lifted his head back and shot her a joking glare.

"Touche' Miss Edwards." Clare smirked, pulling his head back to the crook of her neck so he could continue teasing her skin. Eli inhaled her sweet scent and moaned, into her skin. "I think I'm ready..." he whispered.

Clare's eyes widened, she pushed on his shoulders lightly to look him in the eye. "Ready for what?"

"To make a woman out of you, as cheesy as that sounds." Her heart iced over, whether out of guilt or panic, she was unsure of. "Clare?" Eli pressed, feeling nervous about her silence.

"You mean right now?" Clare squeaked.

"Well, not at this moment, seeing as how I don't have any protection..." he drawled awkwardly. "I was thinking of something a little more romantic than a spontaneous after-school romp. You're first time should be special." Clare bit her lip and averted her eyes from his words. _Her first time.. it had already come and gone._

"Clare? You're beginning to make me nervous with that look." he placed a gentle hand on her chin and directed her eyes back to his. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," she reassured him, "You just caught me off guard."

"Oh." Eli shifted nervously and rolled off of her, bringing up his knees to his chest and resting his forearms behind them. Clare lifted her back of the bed and mimicked his position. "So, you would be...up for it?" he asked nervously shifting his head to look at her. Clare met his gaze and and gave him her most convincing smile.

"Yes, of course, Eli." his face broke out into a wide grin before leaning over and placing a gentle kiss on her lips.

"Good," he said, drawing away and lacing her fingers with his. "In the mean time, how about we warm-up for the big event." his free hand reached for the button of her jeans. Clare immediately tensed up and scooted away from him. Eli gave her a questioning look. She was still sore from the procedure that morning and had been spotting blood, a common side effect for most women as the nurse had reassured her.

"Uh...bad time of the month for that." she said lamely. His widened in realization, cheeks reddening a bit.

"Sorry, didn't know."

"It's not something I usually broadcast." Clare shrugged with a small smile. Eli let out a small laugh. Her body was screaming at her to make him leave so that she could some much needed rest. She was exhausted from the abortion, her talk with Fitz and the lingering haze of marijuana in her system. But the mask of "Saint Clare" implored her to spend some time with her boyfriend, as not to raise suspicion.

"So what do you wanna do now?" Eli asked. Clare shot him a sultry look and pulled him close.

"Just keep it above the waist, okay?" He gave her his usual smirk before wrapping his arms around her and smashing his lips to hers.

* * *

"Pick you up tomorrow morning?" Eli queried as he reached for the front door. Clare nodded and placed a quick kiss on his lips.

"See you then." Eli winked and headed out the door to his trusty hearse. Clare watched from the door as he hopped into Morty and gave her a quick wave before driving off. She remained outside, enjoying the light evening breeze that tousled her wavy locks.

Across the street, a peculiar looking car caught her attention. The car was of an electric blue color, obviously a custom paint job as hinted by the shining hue- giving it the appearance of a new car. But, despite it's new-look, the model was obviously from a different era; no car makers made models like that anymore, not that she was an expert on the matter. It looked like an American muscle car, possibly made in the late sixties or early seventies. The windows were tinted black, making it impossible to see inside the car.

Before Clare could make out the brand decal on the hood of the car, the driver revved up the engine and sped off. Clare wouldn't have been so interested in the car had it not been for it's out-of-place appearance in her neighborhood. Everyone else on her block drove normal looking sedans or mini-vans in bland colors. Clare shrugged and figured the car must've belonged to someone who was either lost, or just visiting.

She had more important things to worry about than unidentifiable vehicles.

* * *

The next morning, Eli arrived bright and early with two cups of The Dot's finest french roast in hand. Clare was feeling a lot better after a good night's sleep; devoid of dreams or other disturbances. She returned Eli's flirtatious comments on the ride over to Adam's and participated in the friendly banter that always surfaced between the three of them.

They arrived at Degrassi and Clare slid out of the hearse after Adam, giggling at the boy's mock debate over some new movie that had just come out. And then, she saw it again. The same car that was parked in front of her house the day before. At the very tail end of the parking lot, the peculiar vehicle sat idle.

The tinted windows made it impossible to see who or what the driver was looking at, but Clare couldn't help but notice that she was in the direct-line of sight from the driver side window. Her suspicion was officially spiked.

"You coming Edwards? Or you just going to stare vacantly in the parking lot all day?" Adam's voice chirped from behind her.

"This is far more stimulating than any classes going on today." Clare shot back, never taking her eyes off the car. She couldn't look away, not yet, not without learning what make and model the car was. Maybe even get a glance on the license plate.

"I'll give you stimulating." Eli quipped. She didn't need to turn around to know that he was wearing a smirk on his face.

"Dude, ew." Adam interjected. Clare kept her eyes focused on the car, ignoring the antics of her boyfriend and best friend. Her heart fluttered when the engine of the car revved up and began pulling away. She craned her head and was just able to make the decal on the trunk of the car; it was a Dodge.

"Oh Claaare!" Eli sang out behind her. She turned around to face her boyfriend and Adam, both giving her strange looks. "something wrong?"

"No," she shook her head, "just not feeling up to school at the moment. Not when the weather is like this." she motioned to the sunny sky. It was the end of May, meaning that the school year was coming to a close. The warm weather made it possible to stand outside without the need for a jacket. Clare herself, was dressed in her standard purple polo and a khaki skirt while both boys forwent the usual adornment of a cardigan or hoodie as the weather just did not require it.

"I know what you mean, but relax; we don't have much longer to go in the year." Adam pointed out.

"Yep, two more weeks of classes, one week of finals and then freedom." Eli added. Clare smiled and accepted Eli's outstretched hand, allowing him to lead her inside. The image of the car; it's color, it's shape- remained burned inside her mind.

* * *

She sat in the Media Immersion lab, ignoring the lecture that was currently spewing from Ms. Oh's mouth. Clare had more important things on her mind. She searched the web, looking at every any model of car made by Dodge since 1965. Her efforts seemed worthless at first, examining multiple images of cars, trying to match the one the she saw outside of her house and the school.

Maybe she was just being paranoid, but maybe she really was being followed. But then again, who would want to follow her? She was able to maintain the good girl image for this long; she had killed three people (four, including Esteban, one of Shane's former co-workers in whatever shady business he was involved with) and not once had she received a phone call from any authority questioning her participation in any of the deaths. Nobody but her and Shane knew where Darcy's body was hidden and Randall's death was concluded to be an unfortunate result of the injuries he sustained from "falling" down the stairs. And as for Shane, well, as far as she knew nobody was aware of or cared about Shane's death as his body was unidentifiable from the flames.

Shane's mother was dead, or so she assumed. Of course, there was always the possibility that the people Shane worked for doing who-knows-what were curious about his sudden disappearance. She shuttered inwardly at the thought of being followed by a gang member or a pissed off dealer; but for some reason, it struck her as highly unlikely.

Turning her attention back to the task at hand, Clare clicked on a photo of a car and her eyes widened in surprise. The car looked exactly like the one she saw earlier, sans the recent paint job. The model in question was a 1970 Dodge Challenger, she was absolutely sure that it was the same model as the car that could possibly be following her.

The only question left was, what was she going to do about it?

Skimming through the manufacturing and marketing history of the car, Clare couldn't help but ponder the irony of it's name: The Challenger. Was she being challenged by this mystery driver? If anything, she certainly felt like her sense of mental stability was being challenged by the darkening cloud of paranoia that was beginning to form over head.

"Ms. Edwards!" Clare's head snapped up as she closed the page she was looking at.

"Yes, Ms. Oh?" she responded with false calmness to the young teacher in front of the classroom. While Clare had been searching the internet, the rest of the class was following along with a power-point lecture and jotting down notes in preparation for the upcoming final.

"Since you don't feel the need to attentively follow along with my final exam review, then perhaps you could tell us the definition of Moore's law?" she asked haughtily with small smirk on her face while her classmates broke out in giggles. Out of the corner of her eye, Clare could see Wesley and Connor snickering while Jenna and KC exchanged smirks. Clare couldn't blame them for reacting with amusement; it wasn't everyday that any of the teachers at Degrassi got to play "stump the chump" with one of it's brightest students.

Unfortunately for Ms. Oh, Clare Edwards was anything but a chump.

"Moore's law states that the number of transistors that can be placed inexpensively on an integrated circuit doubles approximately every two years, and ever since Intel's 404 chip was introduced in 1971 this has been true. Additionally, this trend is expected to continue until 2020 or possibly later." Clare responded, never breaking eye contact with the now-seething educator, her self-confident smirk haven melted off her face.

Clare took a look around the room to gauge reactions. The smirks were wiped clean of the faces of her ex-boyfriend and ex-best friend, replaced with looks that she could only label as slight envy. Wesley and Connor were gazing at her in shock. Obviously, no one seemed to remember what Moore's law was.

Ms. Oh cleared her throat and nodded.

"Very good Clare, that is correct. But for the sake of productivity, at least try to make it look like your paying attention in my class."

Clare nodded and ignored her comment, going back to her research while Ms. Oh droned on.

* * *

Clare was relieved to see that there was no bright blue Dodge Challenger parked outside of Degrassi when class let out. She consented to hanging out at The Dot with Adam and Eli for a few hours before walking home.

As she neared her street, she could hear a car coming up behind her, a normal occurrence seeing as how she lived in a neighborhood with moderate car traffic. But, she couldn't stop herself from glancing over her shoulder to reassure herself that she was not being followed by the mysterious Challenger.

But her suspicions were only confirmed.

She stopped in her tracks and turned around fully, facing the car dead-on. The driver slammed on the breaks and idled for a minute, creating an air of tension between Clare and the mysterious vehicle. Before she could make up her mind about running away or approaching the car, the Challenger began driving backwards, backing into a nearby driveway before speeding off in the opposite direction.

Clare swallowed heavily as her paranoia once again took over. She was indeed being followed, but by who?

* * *

A/N: For those of you wondering, the Dodge Challenger is a sick car. It's one of the car's featured in Quentin Tarantino's _Death Proof_ and it is the car driven by the main protagonist in the 1971 car chase movie _Vanishing Point _(a film that is referenced in _Death Proof_). If you've never heard of these films, you're really missing out.

Also, Clare's stalker will be revealed in the upcoming chapter...stay tuned.


	4. A Blast from the Unknown Past

**A/N: Warning- New OC is introduced in this chapter. Normally, I never read fics with OCs, but somehow I always find myself creating OCs for nearly all the fics I write. Such a hypocrite.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

* * *

**Chapter 4: A blast from the unknown past**

After a night of ruthless plotting and not sleeping, Clare left her house the next morning with a mission. The mission at hand was to allow the mystery driver to follow her around town until she could put herself in a safe, out-of-the-way location to confront her stalker. Tucked inside her purse was the handgun that Randall had always kept locked away in his desk "just in case". She was confident that Helen would not notice the disappearance of the firearm seeing as the woman who was never home avoided Randall's old office at all costs.

After walking for three blocks in the direction of downtown Toronto, Clare noticed that the blue Challenger was indeed hot on her tail, be it at a distance of one block away. She sighed in relief, knowing that her plan was working so far. She continued her journey into town, walking into various shops but never really paying attention to the scenery inside or the constant badgering from the sales associates. She kept her eyes glued to the store front window, making sure that the Challenger was still there.

After meandering around the city for a couple hours to ensure that Challenger stayed on her path, she began to deviate away from the crowded city streets. The car remained hot on her tail, driving at speed that left other drivers screeching past him with blaring horns and angry shouts. Clare smirked to herself; it was like he wanted her to know she was being followed with his blatant lack of camouflage.

Finally, Clare began to reach her final destination, the chain link fence that surrounded the abandoned church where she had killed and buried Darcy. She turned around to make sure that the car was still there before breaking into a sprint. As she ran through the gates and the ruins of the church, she could hear the car screeching to a halt followed by the slamming of a car door and hurried footsteps. She found a secluded spot amongst the trees surrounding the church and crouched down out of site, pulling the handgun from her purse.

A young man, most likely in his twenties, ran into the church and frantically began looking around. Clare examined his appearance. His light brown hair was buzzed short, complimented with a goatee of the same color. His skin was pale, but healthy looking. Height-wise, he was remarkably average for a man, but his build and speed hinted at an athletic prowess and strength beneath his worn jeans and fatigue jacket.

Further inspection lead her to believe that he was not armed, nor dangerous. He looked more like an average guy than a drug dealer or a gang member. After watching him walk in circles for several minutes, Clare decided to make her appearance known.

"Hands up, asshole!" she barked while stepping out from her hiding place, gun pointing directly at him. The man spun on his heel and stared at her with an expression that Clare could only pinpoint as awe, rather than shock or fear.

"I said put your fucking hands up!" she repeated. The man complied wordlessly. Clare took a few step closer to him. "Who are you, and why have you been following me?"

The man said nothing, only stared at her further. His eyes roamed over her form before landing on her face. It was then that Clare noticed his eyes, they were bright blue, similar to hers. The corners of his mouth turned upwards into a smile.

"You gonna stand there grinning like an idiot, or are you going to answer me?" Clare snarled. The man's eyes began water as his body began shake with laughter.

"You think this some kind of sick joke?" Clare barked. She cocked the gun.

"No!" he managed to spit out between laughs, "it's just- I just-"

"Spit it out already!" Her hands begun shaking slightly. The man lowered his own arms and breathed deeply.

"I just never thought I'd find you, Maya."

Her mouth dropped open from shock. Maya, the name that her birth mother gave her, the name that so few people knew about- Randall, Shane, her biological mother. But they were dead. Clare shook her head.

"Who the fuck are you?" she asked. The man gave her a sad smile.

"Don't remember me, huh? I'm not surprised. It's been nearly thirteen years now, since I last saw you."

"Again, who are you?" Clare pressed.

"Bennett. Bennett Anderson, your older brother."

* * *

_Flashback- 13 years ago, Vancouver_

_Laura Anderson shook with fear as the man before her rattled the cage containing two of the meanest looking dogs she ever saw. _

_"Please," she gasped through her panicked tears, "not in front of my babies; do what needs to be done, but not in front of them!" Blood spilled forth from her cut-up lips and front teeth that had been smashed in minutes earlier by the man's fist. She struggled to keep her heaving breaths under control. In the corner of the dingy room, two children, a boy and a girl sat huddled together, crying in fear._

_"Shut your fucking mouth, whore." the man before her growled. He had a deep cut on his left cheek that was in the beginning stages of healing. It didn't take a dermatologist to know that he would be sporting a scar for the rest of his life. "You decided your fate when you went running off to the cops about my business. You're practically dead already."_

_"I don't care if you have to kill me! Just not in front of my kids, they shouldn't have to see this."_

_"But I want them to see this!" the man snarled, "I want to show them what happens when you fuck over the wrong guy!" he began fiddling with lock on the cage, alerting Laura of her impending doom. She looked over at her children._

_"Don't watch! Cover your eyes!" she screamed, "Bennett don't let your sister see this!"_

_"Mom!" Bennett cried out, his eyes darting back and forth between the dogs and his mother. The man by the cage looked off to the opposite corner of the room and nodded his head at the two younger men who stood at attention. They were both clothed in dark coveralls and heavy boots that echoed throughout the entire warehouse as they stomped towards Laura. Without even glancing in the direction of the sobbing children, they began delivering quick, but vicious blows to the already battered woman on the floor._

_The children screamed even louder as their mother tried in vain to protect herself, crying out in painful relief when the blows stopped. Bennett wrapped an arm around his younger sister and raised his other hand to try to cover her eyes. However, the girl refused to sit still in her brother's lap; twisting and kicking in an attempt to get out of his grasp and run towards her mother. But when the dogs descended upon Laura, she went deathly still._

_Her blue eyes widened in fear as the beasts began to rip at her mother's flesh; the sight of blood reawakened her desire to break free, to run to the aid of her mother, but her brother's hold was as strong as ever. His eyes fixated on their mother as she turned her head away from her torture and yelled to them:_

_"Look away! Bennett, close your eyes and cover Maya's! Just do it, you shouldn't see this!" Bennett was still too enwrapped in his own shock to comprehend what his mother was saying. She looked towards her daughter as she squirmed in Bennett's arms, reaching her tiny arms out in a futile effort to break free and grab her hand. _

_"Don't look Maya! Don't look!" she sobbed before howling as one of the dogs tore off a chunk of her arm. __ She howled in pain and tried to beat them off, but she was easily outmatched. She looked over at her children again, both of whom had still not listened to her orders to look away._"_Mommy loves you. Just remember that. I love you, Maya." She whispered through the pain. _

___She looked up at Bennett and opened her mouth to say the exact same thing to him, but was interrupted by a dog lunging at her throat and let out a final scream. The dog reared away, turning his frantic jaw on the rest of her body. Laura's eyes closed in both defeat and death, which came first remains mystery._  


* * *

Clare cocked an eyebrow and raised the gun yet again.

"Bullshit. I don't have a brother."

"Yes you do; you just don't remember me. Don't worry, I'm not insulted or anything, I mean- I kind of expected. Considering what happened to mom and everything."

"If your such an expert on my life, what happened to her?" Bennett's elated face grew solemn at her words.

"When you were three and I was eight, we watched her get torn apart by savage dogs." he said blandly. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper. "Here, take a look at this."

Clare hesitantly snatched the paper from his outstretched hand and unfolded it, never lowering the gun. It was a photograph of a woman with wavy, light brown hair and bright blue eyes. She smiled at the camera with her arms wrapped around two children; a boy and a girl. Clare couldn't deny that the girl in the photograph looked very similar (although a bit younger) to the childhood pictures of her in her living room.

"That was taken a few weeks before she died." Bennett added. Clare lowered the photo and gave him a burning look.

"How do I know you're telling the truth?"

"Why would I lie to you? You're the only family I have."

Clare bit her lip in contemplation.

"What was her name?"

"You don't know?"

"No, my foster father never told me that much about the subject. He definitely never mentioned a brother."

"There's a reason for that, but I don't feel like getting into it now. Her name was Laura, Laura Anderson." he paused, "Before you ask, I have no idea where our father is. He left the shortly after you were born. Shit, I don't even know if we share the same father, but I know for sure that we share a mother."

Clare nodded, feeling somewhat at ease, she lowered the gun, but kept a firm grip on the handle.

"You know, you really suck at following people. I must've spotted your car like twenty times over the past couple of days."

"That's not too bad actually. I've been following you for a couple months." Clare gave him a weary look, unsure if he was being truthful. "I only recently began following you by car."

"Yeah right." Clare scoffed, "so what've I been up to these past few months?" she tested him.

"Well, you killed your foster sister and buried her not that far from where we stand. Your foster father, Randall Edwards died recently, pretty sure you had something to with that as well. I also saw your emerge from some ramshackle house in the hood before it went up in flames." he finished with a demonic grin.

Her heart rate increased two-fold, Bennett seemed to notice.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to report you to the police or anything. This isn't evidence to use against you, this is evidence that proves you are of my own blood." he shot her a dark smile. "We're very much alike, Maya. We both have something...missing, we are both incomplete, not fully human. And we both hide it from others."

He took a few steps towards her, stopping right in front of her and bent down, placing his lips near her ear.

"I was never a fan of dogs myself. Filthy creatures they are." He backed away slowly, his eyes never leaving hers. Clare felt something being shoved into her free hand, she looked down to see what it was. In her hand was a tattered dog collar, with tags still attached. The collar was lined with dark stains, obviously blood.

Clare breathed heavily and lifted her head to look into his eyes, which were so much like her own. Bright and dazzling to the outside world, but upon further inspection there was something lacking, something that was only evident to people like her; people like Shane, Fitz and arguably Randall on some occasions.

If eyes were the windows to the soul, than hers were windows into nothing, and the same was true for Bennett.

"How did you track me down?" she asked.

"It wasn't easy, seeing as how those fuckers changed your name." he made a disgusted face, "Clare," he cringed, "so unfitting for you. It's just so...plain and innocent sounding, almost naive. Not like you at all. You're beautiful, just like mom. And you're definitely not innocent or boring." he added with a knowing smirk.

"I need people to think that I am though, it's all part of saving face." Clare let out a humorless laugh, "Besides, you don't even know me."

"I know you better than you think," he shrugged, "but I could learn more. This time on a more face-to-face basis."

Clare contemplated his proposal for a moment. "I think I could do that, but only if you do something for me first."

"Name it, little sis."

"I want to have a DNA test done. I want hard, tangible evidence that proves you truly are my brother and not some under-cover cop or random psycho out to get me." Bennett smirked.

"I got no problem with that. When do you want to do this?"

"There's a place not too far from here. If you're not doing anything, we can have the tests done now and get the results back in a few days."

"You're my only priority at the moment." he pulled out his car keys and jingled them. "Put the gun away and let's go."

Clare placed the gun back into her purse with some reluctance, and followed Bennett to his car.

* * *

"That was faster than I thought it'd be." Bennett commented as he followed Clare to the car.

After a quick cheek swab and some simple paperwork, the potential siblings were told to report back to the lab in 48 hours to pick up their results.

"More reliable than just claiming you're related to someone, I can tell you that. We can pick up the results when I get out of school on Monday."

"Can't wait." Bennett said with a genuine smile, "So what now? We could find a place to grab some coffee, catch up a little bit more?"

Clare gave him a suspicious look. "Really? I don't even fully believe that you're my brother yet and you're suggesting we catch up over coffee?"

Bennett smirked, "You're right. I have a better idea for sibling bonding," he reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes, extracting a thickly rolled joint from the pack. "And don't tell me that you don't do drugs, because I have followed you many a time while you were under the influence." he grinned and let out a chuckle. "Like that time you threatened that punk with a broken glass bottle, hilarious!"

"You saw that?" Clare exclaimed

"I saw it in real time and again on youtube the next day. Somebody took the video down after a week, but I downloaded it before that happened. I like to watch it sometimes when I need cheering up."

"That's...a little weird." Clare admitted.

"Never claimed I was normal." he pointed out, "So, are you in?" he asked waving the joint in front of her face.

Clare opened her mouth to say "yes", but was cut-off by the sound of her cellphone. She pulled it out of her purse to see that Eli was calling her.

"Hey Eli."

"Hey Edwards, what are you up to?" Clare hesitated for a moment, making up a lie on the spot.

"Not much, just walking back home from downtown."

"Oh, doing a little shopping?"

"Window-shopping more like it. What's up?"

"Adam and Fiona wanted us to hang out with them tonight. Personally, I'd much rather have you all to myself, but Adam's been bugging me about this for weeks." Clare gave a well-rehearsed giggle. "Anyway, take-out food at Fiona's condo followed by a movie. What do you think?"

Clare shot Bennett a sympathetic look before answering, "Sounds great."

"Perfect, I'll pick you up at seven. Where are you right now, anyway? I can give you a ride home."

"Don't worry about it, I'm like two blocks away from my house." she lied. "See you at seven?"

"Can't wait. I Love you."

"Love you too, Eli. Bye." she closed her phone and looked over at her possible brother.

"Let me guess, that was that dude who drives the hearse that you make-out with on occasion?" he asked, his eyes narrowing slightly.

"Eli, my boyfriend." she explained.

"Speaking as a protective older brother, it sickens me to watch you two-lovebirds."

"Well nobody asked you to watch." Clare snapped.

"True, anyway I guess you're not up for a little smoke drive?"

"Sorry, I try to keep that stuff on the DL around Eli. He's not really into that scene."

"That's a shame." Bennett lamented. "At least let me give you a ride home."

"Well, you haven't made any moves to kill me yet." Clare joked.

"And I don't intend too." They loaded into Bennett's car and headed in the direction of Clare's house. They sat in silence for a few minutes before a nagging voice in the back of head urged Clare to speak up on a particular manner.

"I still can't believe I never noticed I was being followed by you for so long."

Bennett shrugged, keeping his eyes on the road. "It wasn't easy, if that's what you're thinking. Following someone undetected never is."

"But how did you do it? Are you that good, or I am just oblivious?"

"You just never had anyone to teach you properly." he mused, "but I could fix that. I could teach you lots of things, Maya." something within her sparked with dark curiosity at Bennett's proposal, but her logical side told her to take caution.

"No until I get confirmation that we're related."

Bennett let out a dark chuckle. "I think you already know that we are, but if you want to wait for some overpriced DNA test to tell you so than that's fine with me. I waited ten years and then searched for you for another three. Time is something I have plenty of."

"Where were you anyway? After mom was killed, where were you sent?" Clare asked as they pulled up next to her house. Bennett turned his head and smirked at her.

"I don't think I can tell you that until I _know_ you're really my sister." Clare rolled her eyes and opened the car door.

"I'll see you on Monday," she stepped out and turned around to examine him once more. Their facial features were eerily similar. "It was nice meeting you, Bennett."

"Take care Maya." he drove off, leaving Clare to contemplate the earth-shattering information that made her question her very identity.

* * *

**A/N: Yep. I gave Clare a long-lost brother as equally fucked up as her (if not a bit more; you'll find out). To anyone who read the "Cover-Up" and was under the impression that Clare's stalker was Shane; he is dead. Dead and gone. Forever.**

**Happy 4/20 everyone.**


	5. Carnal Knowledge

**A/N: Yeah...so...how bout that finale? Yeah, whatever Degrassi writers, whatever. I won't play by your rules or shitty story lines.**

**Well, in memoriam of one of the best Degrassi couples ever, I got some Eclare action for 'yall in this chapter. For those of you waiting for Flare, keep waiting. It'll happen.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.  
**

**Chapter 5: Carnal Knowledge**

"Bye you two! Drive safe!" a drunken Fiona called out as Eli and Clare exited her condo. "Clare, try not distract him too much while he's driving!" she added with a giggle. Clare, who had a enjoyable champagne buzz of her own shot the older girl a wicked smirk.

"You gonna be alright, man?" Eli asked Adam.

"Yeah, I didn't drink nearly as much her. I'll just stay here and keep her company until she falls asleep." he said with a wink.

"Alright," the two bumped fists, "let me know if you need anything."

"Will do, good night guys."

"Bye Adam!" Clare called out as Eli began steering her towards the staircase. Once he heard the door to Fiona's apartment slam shut, he pushed Clare against the wall of the stairwell and attacked her mouth with his own. Clare eagerly responded by wrapping her arms around his neck as he placed his hands on the backs of her thighs and lifted her off the ground, her legs wrapping tightly around his waist.

The couple continued their oral assault until Clare had push him back in order to take a much needed gasp of oxygen.

"You have no idea how long I've been waiting to do that." Eli panted, his eyes were dilated with lust, "You're just too cute when you drink." he added while peppering her neck with kisses.

Clare let out a light moan at his ministrations, "Sorry you couldn't join in on the fun."

"Somebody has to be designated driver," Eli shrugged. He had refrained from drinking anything all night. "Maybe I can join in on the fun when I don't have to worry about driving anywhere one night, yeah?"

"Definitely." she grinned. She thought about bringing up the possibility of consuming something a little harder than alcohol, but decided not to after remembering how he reacted when she was on ecstasy. Not wanting to sour the mood, she brought him in for another heated kiss. Eli clenched her hips, sliding one hand under the material of her skirt that had risen up do to their position, dipping a finger beneath the waistband of her panties and rubbing the smooth skin of her hip.

They broke apart and Eli leaned his forehead against hers, "Let's take this somewhere else." Clare smirked and untangled her legs from around his waist, interlacing her fingers with his as they dashed down the stairs and out of the building into Morty. Out of the corner of her eye, Clare could almost swear that she spotted Bennett's bright blue Challenger parked on the corner, but dismissed the thought with drunken abandon.

Eli began driving in the direction of Clare's house. "Is your mom home tonight?"

"Yeah, she got in just before I left tonight." Clare said grudgingly, "My curfew isn't for another hour and a half though."

"Seriously? It's like, 11 pm already."

"She's been surprisingly lenient on the issue ever since my dad passed," Clare said softly, trying to sound somewhat emotional over the subject. She scooted closer to Eli and placed her hand on his thigh, rubbing it gently. "I think she's allowing me to be a little more independent since she's always at work or some church function." That was a lie though. Clare was positive that Helen had stopped caring about her seeing as how her real daughter was supposedly missing and her ex-husband was dead. Helen never made any direct indication of the matter; she was hardly ever around to do so anyway.

"Oh..." Eli breathed out uncomfortably. "Sorry Clare." he shot her a sympathetic look, knowing how much her parent's divorce effected her (or what she led him to believe).

"Don't be." Clare moved her hand over his crotch and gave it a light squeeze. "Find someplace to park. It's been a while since I've seen the back of Morty."

"Yes ma'am!" He spotted an empty parking lot and parked quickly, shutting off the car. Without waiting, Clare hoisted herself over the front seat and past the curtains into the back compartment of the hearse. She slid on her stomach onto the floor of the car and crawled towards the back door to allow Eli to follow suit.

"That's not very lady-like, Edwards." Eli laughed, and turned around to follow her. Pushing past the curtains, he noticed that his girlfriend's skirt had become accidentally scrunched up around her waist from her movements, exposing her round ass clothed in purple lace. He smirked at the sight and pushed himself over the seat quickly, kneeling behind Clare and placing his hands firmly on her hips before she could roll over.

"Stay like that, I have a feeling you'll like this." he ordered while pushing her skirt up even more before pulling her panties down to her knees.

"What are you- oh!" Clare gasped as Eli inserted two fingers into her core, pumping them in and out slowly. He had fingered many times before, but never in such a primal position. Clare moaned in approval.

"You're so wet." Eli groaned with appreciation.

"Oh god, please Eli, faster!"

Eli chuckled and said "No."

"No?" Clare craned her head backwards to get a look at his self-satisfied smirk.

"I have a way better idea." he winked at her before lowering his face to between her legs and lapping at her juices.

"Ah fuck, Eli!" she moaned, nearly letting out a scream when he brought one of his fingers back up to rub her clit. Clare was grateful that the side-effects of her abortion had worn off for the most part. She had stopped spotting after a day, but her nether regions were still a bit tender. Although in this situation, the tenderness was very beneficial to her pleasure; she could feel her orgasm approaching at a rapid pace.

Her legs begun to shake and Eli lifted his head up and wrapped an arm around her waist to support her trembling body while rubbing her clit with the fingers of his free hand. She screamed as she hit her peak before sinking down to the floor on her stomach.

Clare's breath came out in rapid pants as Eli leaned over and placed a kiss on the back of her neck. She rolled over to look up at him.

"Either I'm getting really good or your were really horny." he grinned, "You never finish that fast!"

"You calling me frigid, Goldsworthy?" she panted, still basking in the glow of her orgasm.

"Never," he leaned in to kiss her gently on the lips, "it just usually takes a little longer than thirty seconds for you to cum, not that that's a bad thing."

"Well then," Clare murmured while pulling her panties up and smoothing out her skirt, "let's see of we can break two records in one night." she leaned up to kiss him hard on the lips before nudging him onto his back.

Eli smiled against her lips as Clare began unbuckling his belt.

* * *

Afterwards, the two teens lay tangled up in each others arms for a bit before Clare glanced at her watch and realized the time.

"Shit! We have to get moving, I'm already late."

"I love it when you talk dirty, but I hate it when you have to leave me." Eli whispered huskily before giving her earlobe a quick nibble.

Clare chuckled and disentangled herself from his arms, "Come on." she ordered lightly before climbing into the front seat. Eli reluctantly followed her, sighing as he took his place behind the wheel. Instead of starting up the car, he turned his head towards Clare.

"So, have you given any thought about when you want to..." he drawled off, not quite sure how to use his words. Clare raised her eyebrow in confusion, not catching on. "You know, lose your virginity?"

"Oh!" Clare nodded, although in truth she had been too distracted with other events in her life to even think about sex with Eli. "Yeah, I was thinking maybe next weekend?" she bit her lip, hoping that he would agree to waiting another week.

"Okay, sounds great." Eli nodded while starting up the hearse. He shot her a smile before pulling out of the parking lot. Clare couldn't help but feel a little tense; his innocent question had reminded her of the many things she was hiding from him. But perhaps the bigger and more horrible secret than her true origins was the fact that she had thrown her virginity away on Shane out of her frustration with Eli's honorable tendencies.

What worried her the most about sex with Eli was the fear of him discovering her infidelity just by sliding into her for the first time. Would he be able to tell that her hymen was no longer in tact? Would he be able to look into her eyes at her most vulnerable state and discover that it was all a lie? Then again, Eli hadn't been with anyone like that since Julia died, chances were good that he would be too overwhelmed with his own pleasure to notice her own lack of virginity.

She could only hope for the best.

* * *

"Well, what does it say?" Bennett asked while lighting up a cigarette.

The two potential siblings stood outside of the lab where they had just picked up the results of their sibling DNA test. Clare ripped open the envelope with shaking hands. When she glanced over the results, she felt an instant sense of relief overcome her.

"Well, you weren't lying. We are of the same blood." Clare said, looking up at her...brother.

"I already knew that," he smirked. "Full or half?" he pressed.

"Look's like mom was a one-man woman." she said handing over the results so Bennett could see for himself. They were in fact full brother and sister.

"Wicked." he chuckled.

"So what now?" Clare asked as they began walking to Bennett's car.

"Well, we have a lot to catch up on. But it'll have to wait for a later date." Bennett said as he unlocked the door and climbed in. Clare felt her face fall just a little bit.

"Why is that?"

"I need to sort out a few things. Get settled in Toronto, find a permanent residence. You know, all that good stuff." Clare leaned down and balanced her forearms on the driver side window.

"Wait- where the hell have you been living all this time?"

"Oh, here and there. I know some people who let me crash on their couch, but mostly I've been meandering around, following you, doing my part to control the world's dog population every now and then." he winked. Clare couldn't help but find his vague answers somewhat unsettling. Bennett noticed her crestfallen expression and placed a hand over hers.

"Hey, don't worry. Soon enough, all will be explained." he gave her hand a squeeze before starting up the car.

"How soon is that?"

"Sooner than you think." Clare grinned at her new found brother. A buzzing sound in her purse distracted both of them from the moment. Clare pulled out her cell phone and flipped it open, her eyes widened in surprise.

"What is it? Boyfriend send you a dirty picture?" Bennett joked.

"No, it's not that." Clare shook her head and met his eyes. "Stay in touch? Let me know if you need anything?"

"Fret not dear sister, we will meet again soon." Bennett reassured her in a playful tone before driving off. Clare glanced down at her phone, debating about how to respond.

_Hey, are you doing anything right now? - Mark F._

Clare bit her lip in contemplation before punching in her reply and hitting the send button.

* * *

"More gin, m'lady?" Fitz asked as he wiggled the half-empty bottle before her face.

"Thank you, kind sir." Clare grinned, yanking the bottle from his grasp and taking a healthy chug. They were currently sitting in the bed of Fitz's trunk, legs dangling over the side while passing back and forth a joint and a bottle of gin. They were parked just outside of the entrance to the abandoned church at Clare's insistence. Fitz had originally suggested going to the ravine, but she turned down the idea in fear of being spotted by her classmates; she wasn't in the mood to battle another scandal that painted her as an undercover party-girl.

"So, you mentioned that you needed to ask me something?" Fitz asked as she smacked her lips.

"Yes, yes I did." Clare nodded while plucking the joint from his hand and taking a drag. Fitz eyed her in amusement.

"So, are you going to ask me? Or are you just going to intoxicate yourself further?" he smirked. "Not that I mind or anything."

Clare sighed to herself. She had responded to Fitz's text telling him that she needed to ask him about something. That something was in regards to her plans with Eli the following weekend. She wanted to ask him if a guy could tell if a girl was a virgin or not just by entering her. She felt hesitant about asking Fitz such things, but he was the only person she could turn to on the subject seeing as Bennett had things to do at the moment. Also, no man wanted to learn the details of his little sister's sex life.

"What I'm about to ask you takes a lot of courage on my part, I'm just trying to prepare myself." Clare shrugged.

"Just spit it out Edwards, no one's going to judge you here."

"Fine," she took a deep breath and turned towards the older boy, "can a guy tell if a girl's a virgin just by, well, you know?" Fitz raised a brow.

"By sticking his dick in her?" Clare cringed slightly at his words.

"That's a crass way of putting it, but yes." Fitz leaned back on his elbows and looked up at the sky in contemplation.

"Well Clare, I'm not entirely sure. I mean, I've popped a couple cherries in my day, sure," he reassured her, "but the only way I could ever tell was if the chick was like, crying or in pain." Fitz's face turned a bit red.

"Really? You couldn't tell if the hymen-" Fitz held a hand up to silence her.

"Honestly Clare? Guys are usually too wrapped up in their own pleasure to notice such things."

"That's...good to know. Thanks Fitz." Clare nodded uncomfortably.

"Why would you ask me this?"

Clare shrugged, not wanting to be _that_ honest on the subject. "Just curious I guess." she grabbed the bottle that sat between them and took another swig. Fitz examined her for a moment, piecing together the puzzle. The thought suddenly presented itself and he had to hold back from retching out his guts at the thought of-

"You're planning on sleeping with Goldsworthy aren't you?" he asked with venom dripping from his tongue. He tried and failed not to sound angry.

Clare shot him an odd look, "I don't see how that's any of your business." She couldn't help but notice as his face fell a little bit before responding.

"So you are, huh?" he turned away and nodded to himself. "Well that's what you wanted right? Or are you not ready to go back to the abortion clinic so soon?" he muttered darkly.

Clare scoffed at his tone of voice. "Way to pour salt on my wounds, Fitzy. But yes, me and Eli are planning to consummate our relationship."

"Well make sure to use protection this time around." Fitz glowered before jumping up from his seat and searching his jean pockets for a pack of smokes to calm his nerves.

"I _did_ use protection last time, it just didn't work." Clare shot back, her temper spiking somewhat.

"Whatever." Fitz waved of her comment, clearly frustrated with the subject. No matter how much he tried, he couldn't shake the mental image of her, sprawled out sweaty, naked and gorgeous while Eli's scrawny body pounded into her. He closed his eyes and tried to picture himself in Eli's place but stopped once he became aware of the fact that he was still in Clare's presence. Not to mention the all-too-familiar hardness forming in pants.

Clare eyed Fitz as he ran a hand through his short hair, eyes closed while deep in thought.

"Fitz?" she asked, trying to bring him back to reality. He opened his eyes but still said nothing. "Look, I'm sorry for upsetting you, or whatever, it's just-" she paused, trying to collect her thoughts, "I just needed to talk to someone who wouldn't judge me for asking. And since you already knew about, well, a lot about me that others don't know- I figured you could help. Sorry." she finished with a shrug.

Fitz bit his lip in contemplation, "You don't have to apologize for anything, Clare. I just-" he swallowed hard, "I just really, really hate your boyfriend." he answered honestly, "And thought of him with you-" he shook his head, "it's just not a nice image." his eyes widened, realizing his choice of words, "I don't mean that as an insult to you, I mean you're hot and everything but the thought of Eli naked just makes me want to hurl."

Clare was somewhat taken back and flustered by his words. She couldn't help but find his stammering and corrections painfully cute. She shook her head at her own thoughts and said, "That's sweet of you Fitz. Tell you what, from this point on, whenever he hang out- there will be no mention of Eli. How's that sound?"

A grin spread over his face, "So you want to keep hanging out?" he asked proudly. Clare rolled her eyes but nonetheless smiled.

"Sure, why not? I mean, you have pretty good weed, so..." Fitz noticed her joking manner and cracked up, Clare joined in on his laughter.

"Speaking of which," he held out a hand and wriggled his fingers, "don't bogart that shit, Edwards." she handed him the forgotten joint. Fitz took a drag before saying, "In all honesty though, Goldsworthy is a lucky bastard. A really lucky bastard."

"How so?" Clare asked.

Fitz shrugged halfheartedly, "Any guy who gets a chance to be with you intimately is."

Clare couldn't stop her face from turning bright red at his compliment. She muttered a "thank you" as Fitz handed the joint back to her. An awkward silence set in.

Fitz cleared his throat, breaking the mood."But just remember, my offer still stands." he said with a smarmy wink. Clare rolled her eyes playfully.

"Keep dreaming Fitzy."

* * *

Eli groaned loudly, his arms shaking on either side of Clare. The girl beneath him worked hard to catch her breath as he carefully pulled out and collapsed next to her. Clare eyed Eli with a mixture of fear and uncertainty, the paranoid voice inside her was screaming at her for her past sins. Could he tell she wasn't really a virgin? When he first entered her, there was minimal pain, not enough to draw tears but it was by no means pleasurable at first. As her body adjusted to his size, she felt herself enjoying it more and more. She was somewhat disappointed that she didn't reach her climax like she had with Shane.

Of course the last time she had sex was under the influence of MDMA, a drug which could turn smashing your fingers in a car door into a nice feeling.

It didn't last that long, but she had been expecting that. It had been a couple years since Eli's ex-girlfriend died and he hadn't slept with anyone since, to the best of her knowledge. Clare turned her attention to the candles on Eli's bedside table while he disposed of the condom and cleaned himself off. The flames flickered up in a hypnotizing dance; Clare felt a dark urge to knock one of the candles over and set the room aflame, much like she had the last time she was intimate with another person.

Realizing what going through her head, she quickly banished the dark thought and turned her attention back to her boyfriend as she felt his arms wrap around her waist.

"How are you?" Eli whispered into her ear. "I didn't hurt you did I?" he asked with concern.

Clare breathed a sigh of relief; he couldn't tell that she had already been broken in.

"Only a little bit, but I was expecting it. They say it always hurts for a girl during her first time."

Eli smiled, "First time," he sighed happily. "I'm so glad I could be your first Clare. "

"I wouldn't want it to be anybody else." she placed a light kiss on his lips.

He brought his hand up from his side and grasped her hand in his. "I promise it will get better for you. I'm just a little...out of practice."

She smirked, "Well then, I guess we'll need practice...lots of it." Eli chuckled at her enthusiasm.

"My favorite kind." he yawned and settled his head on the pillow next to her, Clare took the hint and turned on her side, allowing him spoon up behind and encircle her waist with his arms.

"I love you." he whispered, somewhat groggily into her hair.

Clare eyed the candles on his nightstand again, mentally picturing what Eli's room would look like on fire. She opened her mouth to return his sentiment, but closed it when she heard his light snores.

For some reason, despite her long stewing desire to take their relationship to the next step, Clare felt oddly unfulfilled; disappointed even. She wasn't sure if her libido had taken a vacation or if her paranoia about her previous sexual conquest overshadowed the even that just took place. She sighed, and decided to just go with the former option. Eli had bought her lies so far, why not one more? The next time would be different, she promised herself that. The next time would be less awkward, more primal and eradicate her former guilt over Shane.

She turned her attention back to the candles, watching them diminish as the night passed on. Sleep felt irrelevant.


	6. Born in Blood

**A/N: I had a lot of fun writing this chapter...sick and twisted fun.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

**Chapter 6: Born in Blood**

Clare smiled at her brother from the driver's seat of his blue Challenger. The end of the school year was approaching fast with final exams beginning the next day. But the looming exams didn't stop Clare from turning down Bennett's offer to hang out for the day and discuss the pieces of their childhood that Clare had forgotten.

He revealed to Clare that the tragedy that haunted them both had occurred in Vancouver. Their mother, Laura, had grown up poor and as a result was pulled into a life of drugs and crime. The addict turned dealer found herself involved with one of the most violent street gangs in the country; not only did they control the flow of cocaine in Vancouver, but they also oversaw the trafficking of a variety of drugs into Canada.

In the early stages of her second pregnancy, Laura Anderson was arrested for possession with intent to sell. The detective who brought her in, Daryl Scottson, decided to show some mercy with the young mother, allowing her the option to become a criminal informant in effort to avoid jail time and help the police bring down her superiors.

Despite the fact that Laura was one of the most trusted street dealers for her particular sect in the gang, she decided to take him up on the offer. Deep down she knew that she couldn't be a mother and a drug dealer without something horrible happening. Laura was released without jail time and continued her work as dealer, taking a few months off when she gave birth to her second child, Maya (who would later be known as Clare Edwards). She continued her work as dealer on a part time basis, wherein anytime that wasn't spent peddling coke was spent with her children or reporting back to Detective Scottson.

Unfortunately, Laura was eventually betrayed by another dealer who had seen her talking to Scottson. As it turned out, Laura was just one of five dealers turned criminal informants. They all met their deaths in the same way, on the same night, in the same warehouse; all in front of two children.

While Clare had been shipped off to the Edwards family in Toronto, Bennett was admitted into a psychiatric hospital for children under the order of Detective Scottson. He claimed the boy was horrifically affected by the event to the point where he was exhibiting anti-social behavior. While Clare was young enough to suppress the memory, Bennett was the perfect age to be damaged for life. He was released from the hospital on his eighteenth birthday with the claim that he was "cured".

Bennett spent the next few years working as a mechanic in Vancouver while performing a search for his sister. By some miracle he was able to score a part-time job working in the records department of the Vancouver Police Department. But his time there didn't last long, as soon as he located the file on his mother's murder- he was able to find all the information he needed. He soon quit his jobs in Vancouver and moved to Toronto, driving cross country in his bright blue Dodge Challenger.

They were currently driving down a deserted country road outside of town with Clare at the wheel. Along with telling her more about her secretive past, Bennett had given her a short driving lesson before tossing the keys her way and directing her to their next destination. Bennett reclined in his seat and cracked open a warm can of beer he extracted from the glove department.

Clare glanced over at him as he took a healthy sip from the can, "Long day?"

"Yeah," he sighed. "I had to get to the shop early this morning. It seems like every fucker in the city wanted their winter tires changed today." Upon arriving in Toronto several months ago, Bennett had found a job at a mechanic's shop as well as a small house in an underdeveloped section of the city.

"So...where are we going anyway?"

"Relax, we're almost there. Just keep driving."

Clare huffed in annoyance, earning a wry grin from her brother as raised the can to his lips and finished off what was left in one big gulp. He crushed the can in his fist, lowered the window and chucked it out.

"Litter bug." Clare growled jokingly.

"Shut up." Bennett quipped back. "And take a left here." he ordered, pointing to a dirt road that led into the woods. Clare did as she was told and drove the car down the rustic path for a few hundred yards before reaching the clearing where an old cement building stood among the trees.

"Okay, park it." Bennett lept out of the car before Clare even turned the ignition off. She stepped out slowly, examining her surroundings. An aged sign reading "_Camp Eden_" stood in front the building.

"What is this place?" she asked, turning to her brother who was rifling through the trunk. Bennett extracted a black duffel bag before looking up at her and slamming the trunk shut.

"Old bible camp. It closed down in the late nineties." he mumbled while leading her to the door of the building.

"Okay...so what are we doing here?" she asked with hesitance. Bennett placed his hand on the door handle and turned his head to look at her.

"You'll see." he smirked. Clare felt an uneasy feeling wash over her being as Bennett opened the door and stepped through the threshold into the darkened and dusty building. She stood outside for a few moments, debating whether to follow him or run back to the Challenger and drive off. She suddenly felt her newly instilled trust begin to fade at Bennett's mysterious responses. She shook her head and reached into the pocket of her denim jacket, keeping a tight grip on her switchblade inside, just in case.

"When you finally decide to come inside," Bennett shouted from the darkness, "make sure to close the door behind you." Clare rolled her eyes and stepped into the building, slamming the door shut. It was difficult to see what was inside at first, but as her eyes adjusted to the darkness, she was able to make out a hand-painted mural lining the wall before her.

The mural depicted an elaborate garden with two silhouettes of a man and a woman standing beneath a water fall. There were also bible excerpts painted amongst the mural, some of them recognizable to her from her many forced ventures to youth group meetings. In the corner of the room was a door that was partially open, emitting the only man-made light in the building.

She made her way to the door and slowly pushed it all the open. She gasped in shock at what she saw.

The room had been lined with thin sheets of plastic on the walls and floor; it was the kind of sheeting that people used to drape over furniture when they were painting. But it became obvious to her the that the plastic sheeting was there to serve a much different purpose; in the middle of the room was a long wooden table; strapped to that table was a man who was obviously unconscious.

Bennett was hunched over his duffel bag, extracting various power tools and lining them up on the wall of filing cabinets off the side of the room. He noticed Clare's presence and held out his arms in pride.

"Welcome to my kill spot!" Clare glanced around, she couldn't help but notice the irony of his words and their location. It seemed that both siblings enjoyed preforming their dirty work in abandoned places of worship.

"Who is he?" Clare asked, pointing the man on the table. Bennett looked up from his bag and grinned darkly.

"An experiment," he said simply while extracting a bundle of cloth from the bag. "Here, put this on." he tossed her the cloth and Clare caught it, shaking it out to reveal a smock that was better suited for someone about to perform surgery. She shrugged off her jacket and pulled on the smock, tying the laces in the back. Bennett pulled out an identical smock and did the same thing.

"Take off your shoes, socks too." Clare complied, slipping off her converse sneakers and socks, setting them on the filing cabinet. Bennett tossed her a roll of duct tape and instructed her to place a piece over the man's mouth.

Clare walked over the table and stuck a piece of duct tape over the stranger's mouth. She looked over at her brother who was currently plugging in the power tools. He slipped a plastic surgical face shield over his head and handed one to Clare who did the same. He also tossed her a pair of laytex surgical gloves before snapping his own into place on his roughened hands. Smiling, he handed her one the tools, a small, but sharp circular saw that looked powerful enough to cut through bone.

"Just follow my lead, okay?" Bennett asked. "The point of this experiment it too see how many missing limbs it takes for our 'volunteer' to bleed out. I'll take the legs, you do the arms."

Clare nodded, as if it was completely normal to chop someone to bits with your long lost sibling. She flicked the switch on the saw and was rewarded by the beautiful sound of mechanical whirring. Bennett motioned for her to turn it off.

"Hold your horses, kid. We have to wake him up first." Bennett chuckled. Clare's eyes widened in surprise. She was not expecting a live amputation to take place.

Bennett chuckled once more before pulling a smelling salt tablet out of his pocket and breaking it beneath the victim's nose. Within seconds, his eyes snapped open and his labored breathing could be heard behind the duct tape.

"One limb at a time, okay? We don't want to put him into shock or anything, we have plenty of time." Clare nodded and watched as Bennett turned on his saw and brought it down the man's leg, just below his kneecap.

His screams of pain could still be heard from behind the tape as Bennett worked his way through the flesh and bone. "Put your hand over his mouth! Try and keep him still so I can make a clean cut."

Clare clamped a hand over his mouth and stretched out her other arm to rest on his chest, pushing down to keep him centered on the table. Bennett let out a whoop of victory he finished off the cut.

"Check that out! Have you ever seen a cut that clean, Maya?" he grinned excitedly.

"I didn't know you had an interest in surgery." Clare smirked.

"Had I the intelligence and money to go to med school, I would." he admitted. "But this is a lot more fun." he stressed hitting the button on his saw a few times. Droplets of blood splattered off onto Clare's smock. "Okay, your turn."

Clare stood by the man's right shoulder and raised the saw just above his elbow with both hands. She held down the button and lowered it to her target. Blood misted up from the incision, hitting her surgical shield and smock, but she was too focused on the task at hand to care. It was almost beautiful in a way as the bone and veins lying beneath the flesh became clearly visible before the blood flow covered it up. She could feel droplets of the warm liquid drip off the table and onto her bare feet.

"Nicely done." Bennett nodded as he examined the cut. It wasn't nearly as clean as the one he made earlier, but nonetheless impressive for someone who never used an electrical saw on any type of surface, let alone the human body.

Clare looked at her work with intense fascination. She had killed before, but never like this. Her previous killings had always been quick, and forceful. She had to move fast in order to cover her tracks, she had no time to savor it, no time to look into the victim's eyes as they tried in vain to hang on to their last shred of life. But Bennett's method allowed her the time to draw it out, to test the violent waters of her inner psychosis.

It wasn't so much a murder as it was an art project or a surgical experimentation.

* * *

As it turned out, the siblings were able to to carve their victim down to stub with no limbs until he lost enough blood to die, after which they chopped up the rest of his body and stuffed it into garbage bags. Clare's bare feet were thoroughly soaked in the red, sticky liquid as she moved about the room, helping her brother with the final step of the process. All that remained of their nameless victim was his head, lying haphazardly on the killing table. Bennett had instructed her to begin cleaning up while he transported the limbs downstairs to the basement.

He hadn't been very clear about what they would do with the body once they were done. Clare was under the assumption that they would just bury the limbs in the basement, a little boring and labor intensive, but she had no complaints.

Clare leaned down to the plastic covered floor and soaked up the final puddle of blood with some old rags. The door opened, and Bennett stepped through, rubbing his hands in excitement. He nodded wordlessly to Clare, who dumped the blood soaked rags into a garbage bag and stepped towards him.

"Clean off your feet, throw on some shoes and meet me downstairs as soon as your done." He said quickly as he playfully scooped the head off the table and jammed it into one of the garbage bags. He hoisted the bags off the floor and exited the room once more. Both of them were still dressed in surgical smocks and laytex gloves, meaning the dirty work had yet to be completed.

Clare grabbed some clean rags and a bottle of disinfectant, spraying her stained feet and scrubbing the dried blood until her skin became pink from the constant friction. She slipped on her sneakers and headed down the basement, careful not to track any droplets of blood along with her.

Unsurprisingly, the basement was unfinished for the most part. Cement walls rested atop a floor of dirt. Bennett stood with his back towards her in front of an old fashion tub that seemed to have no business in the dusty old basement. He held a hose in his hand, spraying water into the tub; the garbage bags containing their victim rested by his feet.

"So what are we doing now?" Clare asked. Bennnett tossed the hose down and walked over the spigot on the wall, turning it off. He turned to Clare and grinned.

"Alkaline Hydrolysis." he said with no further explanation.

"Say what?" Clare asked. Chemistry had never been one of her strong classes at school. She was able to memorize and regurgitate information on tests, but overall the subject held little interest to her.

"Damn, don't they teach you anything useful in that school?"

"I think we have different definitions of that term." Clare quipped.

"Eh, fair enough. I'll give you the run down on alkaline hydrolysis. Ever see the movie _Fight Club_?" he asked. Clare smiled softly and nodded her head. Of course she had seen the film version, but the book held more interest to her for several reasons; one of them being her first date with Eli.

"Well you remember that one scene with the lye and how Brad Pitt burned his kiss into Edward Norton's hand?"

"One of my favorite scenes in the film." Clare nodded.

"Well, we're going to do something similar to that, but on a much bigger level." he informed her, while he began extracting the body parts from the garbage bags and submerging them in the tub. "bring me that container of lye , will ya?"

Clare picked up the gallon-sized plastic container resting near the stairs and walked over to her brother. She watched as he stuffed the last limb into the tub. He pulled off his laytex gloves and chucked them into the tub as well before pulling two pairs of lab goggles out of the pocket of his cargo pants. He passed one pair to Clare while placing the other over his eyes.

"Dump it in. All of it." he commanded. Clare quickly put on the goggles and opened the container, heavily sprinkling the contents into the tub. Almost immediately, the water began bubbling at a ferocious rate as the chemicals began breaking down the flesh and organs. Steam emitted from the tub as well as a foul stench that left Clare gagging somewhat as she backed away to keep from vomiting. But she couldn't find it within herself to look away at what was happening in the tub.

"Yeah, the smell is pretty harsh, but you get used to it. Should've warned you beforehand, sorry about that." Bennett lamented.

"It's okay," Clare coughed. "How long will it take?"

"Well, keep in mind this is a very low-cost method of alkaline hydrolysis. Had I the ability to access proper equipment for this process, it would take only hours. But, it'll take a couple days in our case." he admitted. "When we come back, all that will be in this tub is a pool of brown sludge that looks like motor oil and bones so brittle that you could grind them in your hand." he finished while licking his lips.

"And then what?" Clare pressed.

"We dump what's left and find a new friend to experiment on." Bennett shrugged before turning his head to her. "How's that sound?" Clare thought it over for a moment before smiling widely at her brother.

"This is going to be the best summer ever."

* * *

Clare grit her teeth and hissed as the skin of her wrist was permanently marked forever. The burly man standing over her, shot her a sympathetic look as he looked up from his work.

"Doing alright, sweets?" he grunted.

"Yeah, yeah," she nodded, "I'm just not used to this feeling."

"I can always take a break, let you catch your breath for a half-hour before we finish." he offered. Clare looked down at her wrist at what he completed so far.

"Only a few more letters left. I can handle it." she reassured him.

"Damn right you can!" Bennett called over from where he was sitting. Much like Clare, he too had a burly man standing over him, marking his skin for life.

"You're a tough chick, Maya." the gruff man complimented as he smiled down at her.

"Get back to work." Clare quipped. The man let out a howl of laughter as he once again brought his needle back to her wrist.

After they cleaned up and left the old camp, both siblings felt a rush of adrenaline that couldn't be tamed with a drink or a joint. In the past, Clare had never really felt much of anything after she killed. But this time was different; it wasn't just another murder to cover up her secret, there was no motivation behind it, no reason to end the life of a person she knew nothing about.

It was simply invigorating.

And that's what brought them to a dingy tattoo parlor nearby Bennett's new place. They wanted something to commemorate the day as well as their reunion. Clare was able to get by the underage factor without even having to pull out her fake ID since Bennett was friends with a few of the artists. They decided that the best location was on the underside of their wrists as Clare was to be able to cover the tattoo with her watch from the curious eyes of others. She also made the choice to have the tattoo done in white ink, so that it would far less noticeable to the outside world. Bennett, seeing as how he had nothing to hide, went with the traditional black ink.

Clare gritted her teeth for another fifteen minutes until the artist was finally finished. He covered the new ink with a bandage to prevent infection.

"Come back when you're eighteen and we can a little color to it." he winked as Clare lept up from the seat and joined Bennett at the cash register. After Bennett paid, he led Clare outside to his car.

"So, there was something I wanted to talk to you about."

"What would that be, Maya?"

"Well that's exactly it," Clare sighed, "I don't mind that you call me Maya-"

"Seeing as how it's your name." Bennett interrupted hastily.

"Right, well, most people know me as Clare Edwards, and it has to stay that way."

"Why?" Bennett asked with a chuckle. Clare shook her head, annoyed by his attitude.

"Because it would cause too much confusion and questions if I were to start signing my name as Maya Anderson on all my stuff for school."

"Then just drop out." Bennett suggested simply, as if the decision to end one's education was as commonplace and mundane as choosing what to eat for breakfast.

"I can't do that," Clare began.

"Well why not?" Bennett snapped. Clare was taken back by his tone, but even more so by the fact that she couldn't think of a legitimate reply. Bennett noticed this. "Think about it; you have no reason to stay in high school. You're too smart to waste your time sitting in classrooms and filling out worksheets, Maya."

"Then what am I supposed to do with my life?" Clare growled.

"Do what I did; get your GED and find a field of work that you can make a living off of while pursuing other hobbies in your spare time!"

Clare blinked and looked forward out the window, contemplating his words. She only had two days left in the school year, so quitting now seemed pointless. Then again, she had the entire summer to make the decision and sign up for a GED test if things went that way.

She still had a lot to think over though.

"Look, you don't have to do what I say. It's your life, and I'm glad that I'm apart of it again. Just know that if and when you decide to leave all this behind, I'll be there to help you." Bennett said softly.

"Thank you." Clare responded. They drove in silence until he reached her house. Clare stepped out of the car and slammed the door behind her, turning around to look her brother in the eyes.

"When does school let out for the summer?"

"Couple more days till freedom." Clare reassured him. Bennett grinned and raised his hand in a silent goodbye before driving off. Clare looked up the darkening sky and then down at her wrist. She peeled back the bandage to once again admire the artwork inked on her skin forever. It was only three simple words written out in Gothic script, but it was three words that solidified her identity as well as her relationship with Bennett.

On the underside of her left wrist, in white ink were the words: "Born in Blood".

* * *

**A/N: Flare alert has been issued for the next chapter...**


	7. Hot Mess

**A/N: You know that Flare storyline I've been promising since I finished "The Cover-Up"? Here it is...**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

**Chapter 7: Hot Mess**

Fitz was having some difficulty keeping the shit-eating grin off his face during the remainder of his shift at The Dot. Home schooling left him with a lot of free time and at the insistence of his mother he accepted a part time job as a dishwasher/busser at Degrassi's premier after school hangout spot. The work was shit, and the pay was shittier, but he needed something to do in between his tutoring sessions and his time spent at the Ravine with his friends or on rare occasions- his one-on-one sessions with Clare.

And that was the reason behind his mile-wide smile as he loaded up the dishwasher with coffee cups and crusty plates. He had received a text message from Clare only minutes beforehand asking if he was free for the night. He responded eagerly, as he always did to her messages. They hadn't spoken since their last confrontation when the awkward subject of Clare and Eli's sex life was discussed. He was curious to learn how it went, but he was more so interested in spending time with the girl.

Fitz had always been somewhat enamored by Clare Edwards, even back before her transformation into one of Degrassi's most desirable girls when she wore glasses and had long hair. Of course, back then Clare Edwards only struck him as an untouchable piece of ass; a target that he longed to fuck and then throw aside only to boast to his friends that he was the one to steal her innocence, to break her in.

But then, he learned that his and everyone's conception of Clare was just ruse put on by the girl herself. His lust turned into something else, something stronger. He still wanted to fuck her of course, he was only human; but there was something else he wanted from her, something that no other girl would ever consider giving him...but even he wasn't sure what it was. Companionship? A partner in his own secret crimes?

Fitz was very much like Clare, in his own way. As a child, he spent his afternoons roaming about the neighborhood on his own, stomping down any small animal that crossed his path. Squirrels, chipmunks, injured birds, kittens. Once he would catch them, he heave them to the ground being sure to knock the wind out of them before bringing his foot down on the helpless creature. That was the reason he always wore boots, never sneakers, even to this day.

He just felt more powerful in a pair of boots.

"Mark!" a girl's voice broke his concentration. He looked up to see one of the waitresses sticking her head into the kitchen.

"What?" he snapped.

"We're out of silverware up front."

"So?" he sneered. The girl sighed and rolled her eyes.

"So, bring up a tray of clean utensils and while you're at it bus some goddamn tables! It's a madhouse out there."

"Really?" Fitz asked while drying his hands on his apron. "It's never busy this late in the afternoon." he picked up a tray of clean utensils and walked towards the door.

"Last day of school today. It's going to be like this for the next three months." she explained.

"Hn." Fitz muttered to himself as he pushed through the kitchen door and into the crowded cafe. He unloaded the utensils into the tray behind the counter and picked up a bin from the floor. He made his way around the cafe, pushing past customers and stacking dirty dishes into the bin.

With the bin nearly full, he had one last table to bus. But his eyes narrowed once he saw it's occupants; none other than Eli Goldsworthy and Adam Torres. Eli looked up from his coffee and saw Fitz. His eyes widened for a second at the sight of his former tormentor, but his face quickly dissolved into a self-satisfied smirk when he noticed his Dot t-shirt and apron. Fitz rolled his eyes, mentally preparing himself for whatever shit emo-boy was about to throw his way.

Eli nudged his best friend as their former enemy made his way over to clear them of their waste. Adam looked up in shock and eyed Fitz warily as he came closer while Eli's smirk just appeared to grow bigger.

"Hey there Fitzy boy." Eli grinned. Fitz, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of ticking him off, merely grunted in response before hurriedly grabbing their empty plates and stacking them in his bin.

"What was that Fitzy?" Eli pressed on. Adam shot his friend a look, silently telling him to knock it off. Eli merely smirked at his friend before picking up his fork and purposely dropping it to the floor. "Oops." he grinned.

Fitz clenched his jaw as he shot Eli a dirty look before bending down to pick up the fork. As his hand hovered over the utensil, Eli's foot quickly swept it away, sending the fork sliding under the neighboring table. Fitz closed his eyes and breathed deeply to calm his frustrated demeanor.

Disregarding the fork and Eli's obvious attempts to send him over the edge, Fitz quickly stood up and grabbed the bin, spinning on his heel and making a beeline for the kitchen.

"Oh Fitz! Bring me a clean fork would you?" Eli called out to him. Fitz dropped the bin on the counter and turned back around.

"What do you need a fork for? You're done eating." Fitz pointed out.

Eli shook his head and smirked yet again, "The customer is always right, Fitzy. Don't question it."

"Eli, come on. Let's just pay the bill and get going." Adam urged him. Eli ignored him and turned back to Fitz.

"I'm waiting." Fitz groaned and pulled out a clean fork, stomping over to their table he shoved the fork into Eli's hand and was about to stomp back to the kitchen when Eli called out his name once again.

"What now?"

"A tip. For you." he flipped a coin in Fitz's direction quickly. Fitz, to his great luck caught it, avoiding further embarrassment. It was a nickel. He shot Eli a dark look while imagining what the boy's head would look like if he stomped it in, starting with his stupid smirk.

He grabbed the bin off the counter and continued on his path. He had never been so relieved to find sanctuary in the cold industrial walls of The Dot's kitchen. Bracing himself against one of the sinks, he took in deep breaths of oxygen, exhaling slowly.

Looking down at his watch, he was annoyed to see that he still had two hours left until his shift ended. He decided that now was a good a time as ever to take a break and extracted his pack of smokes from his pocket and heading towards the back door that led to the alley behind the Dot.

Thinking back to his confrontation with Eli, one question stayed prominent in his mind; what the hell did Clare see in that kid?

* * *

Clare couldn't help but smile as she accepted Fitz's hand, hoisting her into the bed of his truck. After he picked her up, Clare directed him to the abandoned church, knowing that there was no chance of unexpectedly running into Eli at their favorite hang-out spot. Her boyfriend was attending a Dead Hand show with Adam, leaving her free for the night.

He watched from the corner of his eye as she bent down to adjust the straps on her leather sandals, allowing him the opportunity to admire how her white shorts hugged her ass. She propped herself up on the side of the bed, opposite of him. The plaid blouse she wore was rather loose, but the top few buttons were left unsnapped, presenting the barest hint of her ample cleavage. In his eyes, she was stunning.

"Can't tell you how stoked I was to get your text. I thought for sure you'd be hanging with Eli, being the last day of school and everything." Fitz admitted.

"He's going to a Dead Hand show tonight. Tried to get me to come along, but I can't stand their music."

"Neither can I. I don't know what Bianca sees in them. Too emo for your taste huh?"Clare giggled and shook her head.

"It just sounds like noise to me. I prefer a beat that can be danced to rather than music that inspires headbanging." Fitz chuckled and handed her a joint which she gladly took a hit of. "Besides, I felt like I was neglecting you." she said through the smoke.

"I'm so honored." Fitz said with mock sarcasm. Clare laughed and passed the joint back to him. Leaning back on her hands, she let out a sigh of content. It had been a while since she felt so relaxed, and the weed had nothing to with it. She always had to put up a front around Eli and all of her friends at school, and her time spent with Bennett was enjoyable, but unpredictable. With Fitz, she felt comfortable being herself. It was almost like she was hanging out with her dearly departed friend Shane, minus the drama.

"Clare," Fitz said softly, breaking her from her thoughts, "why are you with him?"

"Who? Eli?"

"Yeah. Why him?" Clare sighed. Lately, she had been asking herself the same thing.

"I don't know...he's smart, funny, cute." she answered lamely.

"Well that explains what drew you in," he continued, "but why are you still with him?"

"Because he's part of me." Clare said, without thinking.

"Ugh, gross. So I guess you two finally did the bump and grind huh?" Fitz groaned.

"What? No! I mean- yes, we did that," she admitted. Fitz made a disgusted face, "but that's not what I meant when I said he's a part of me."

"Then what were you trying to say?" he pressed.

"Eli...he's part of my mask." she drawled slowly.

"Mask?" his face was etched with confusion.

"Yeah... you know, just like this necklace or this ring." she said, pointing to the cross around her neck and holding up her hand with the purity ring. "I can't be what I really am around others. The mask helps." she finished.

"What exactly are you? A pot-smoking, gin guzzling, dog killing vixen?" Fitz teased. Clare laughed to herself.

"And then some..." she muttered.

"So, does this mean you don't necessarily want to be with Eli?" Clare blinked out of surprise.

"I'm not sure." she shrugged.

"Bad in bed, huh? Figures...those tight hoochie pants he's always wearing probably shriveled his dick." he scoffed. Clare couldn't help herself to giggle, but rolled her eyes at Fitz's...jealousy?

"Eli's penis is not shriveled," she insisted, "and he's not bad in bed, he's just..." she shook her head, unsure of how to describe it. Her first time with Eli wasn't unpleasant, but it was rather unfulfilling in that it didn't meet her expectations. She wasn't even sure what her expectations were; there was only the primal need resounding within her that screamed for flesh on flesh contact and penetration. Then it occurred to her, why was she even discussing this Fitz in the first place? It was none of his business and she was in no position to be sharing all of her secrets.

"Just what?" Fitz asked, growing tired of her hesitation.

"Can we just drop the subject, please? I came here with you to get away from that part of my life tonight. I just want to have fun." she lamented.

"Okay then, let's have fun." Fitz consented, passing the joint to her. "So what is this place anyway?" Fitz asked motioning to their surroundings. He had never actually seen the inside of the church ruins; last time he hung out with Clare they only parked outside the wire fence surrounding the area.

"Well, it _used_ to be a church..." Clare drawled.

"Then what is it now?" he pressed. Clare thought for a moment, taking a puff of the joint before answering.

"Think of it as Vegas. Whatever happens here, stays here." she smiled knowingly while passing the joint back to him. There was no need to come completely clean to Fitz about her past crimes. Not yet anyway.

"And just what are you expecting to happen here tonight?" he asked while waggling his eyebrows, joint clenched between his teeth. She shrugged.

"I'm not quite sure yet."

Fitz pursed his lips and gave a quick nod before handing the joint back to her. He reached into the pocket of his jeans and pulled out a small baggy containing what appeared to be white powder. Clare perked up at the sight.

"Coke?" she asked, motioning to the bag. Fitz's eyes widened.

"You've done coke?"

"Only when I need a break from weed." she said with a shrug.

"Ok, wasn't expecting that," he admitted, "anyway, this shit is way better than coke." he held the bag up to his face and flicked it with his fingers.

"Pray tell, what is it?" she asked while exhaling a cloud of smoke. Fitz grinned, leaned over, plucked the joint from her fingers and tossed her the bag.

"Mandy." he stated, "otherwise known as MDA, not to be confused with MDMA," he paused, unsure about her knowledge of illicit drugs, "which is more commonly known as ecstasy."

"I've done ecstasy." she said blandly, thinking back to her night with Shane. "It this stuff similar?" she asked while inspecting the bag.

"You could say that. It combines the euphoric feeling of ecstasy with the hallucinogenic side of acid." he explained.

"Best of both worlds then?"

"Definitely," he nodded while taking the bag back. He opened it up, licked his index finger and dipped it in the powder before sucking it off in his mouth. He offered it to Clare, who did the same thing.

"Now what?" she asked while smacking her lips, being sure to ingest every particle of powder.

"We wait for the fun to begin."

* * *

Fitz howled with laughter as Clare spun around in circles like a dancer before collapsing into his arms. They were quickly reaching their respective peaks, having taken the drug hours ago. Fitz turned on his truck and put his speakers on at full blast, emitting techno music with a deep bass track. They spent the hours dancing, smoking and laughing at each other.

Clare looked up at the clear night sky which had darkened to the fullest extent thanks to their location in the woods. She was quite enjoying the visual effects of the drugs; when the sun was still out, she could've sworn that colors never looked so bright, so bold, so clear. It was almost like when she was sober, she was forced to watch the world through a foggy glass, masking the simple beauty that resided in all nature.

But on Mandy, the glass shattered, allowing her to see the world and it's colors for all their inherited beauty. It was always there, she just never saw it.

Looking up at the sky, she noticed that the stars seemed to be moving, vibrating almost against the black pallet of space. Her mouth dropped in awe as she lowered herself to the ground, pulling Fitz down with her.

"What are you doing?" Fitz chuckled.

"Look," she said pointing upward, "the stars, they're like- moving." Fitz followed her finger with his eyes and smiled wide.

"Holy shit, they really are!" the two teens laid back fully on the cement floor of the old church, showing no concern about the dirt that would be sticking to their backs when they got up. They laid there for an indeterminable amount of time. No words were exchanged and the only noises heard were the ones in nature and the music blasting from Fitz's truck.

After a while, Clare's back began to tighten against the hard surface of the ground, prompting her to sit up and stretch just as a familiar song began playing on the stereo.

"I love this song!" Clare gasped pushing herself off the ground and jogging over the truck. She leaned into the driver side window and blasted the music to full volume.

"Really Clare?" Fitz chuckled as she brushed off his jeans and joined her by the truck. "You know how to Dougie?" he asked, referring to the popular tune that was blaring from his trunk.

"Watch and learn." Clare smirked as she allowed her body to surrender to the beat. Bobbing her head and swiping her arms back and forth in front of her face. Fitz watched her, entranced as she became more aggressive with her movements, jerking her legs in and out at a fast pace before spinning on her heel.

Most girls he knew, relied on pure sexuality when they dance, grinding their hips into nothing. But not Clare. Her movements were fierce and hard, sexy but by no means slutty or desperate. She danced like she battling an invisible enemy. Fitz didn't even realize that he was bobbing his head along to her movements until she caught site of it and slowed her dancing down.

"Come on Fitzy, show me you got!" she urged. "Dance off, motherfucker!"

Fitz laughed at her uncharacteristic behavior. He was never much of a dancer, but he never turned down the opportunity to grind his body against that of a pretty girl. He approached Clare with a sly smile before planting a hand on her shoulder and turning her body so that she was facing away from him. He then stepped up close to her, letting his hands slide down her sides and rest on her hips, all the while preparing himself for her to push him away.

Much to his own surprise and amusement, Clare didn't step away, but rather leaned back into his body and began swaying her hips back forth against his crotch, urging him on. He gasped at the sensation of her firm behind causing friction against his growing arousal, which he _knew_ she could feel. And yet, she still didn't pull away from him with some lame-ass excuse about being faithful to her boyfriend.

No, no..._Saint Clare_ was the girl who practiced faith and loyalty. The girl before him was someone else, and she didn't belong to anyone.

Fitz began meeting her movements with his own hips, further pressing his excitement into her back while keeping an almost bruising grip on her hips, but Clare didn't seem to mind. If anything, she increased her movements, stretching one arm behind her to brush against his sweaty hair before pulling his head down the crook of her neck.

He smirked into her heated flesh before sinking his teeth into her skin while sliding his left hand to her stomach, toying with the buttons on her blouse. To his own amazement and satisfaction, Clare let out a small moan as his mouth did work on the delicate skin of her neck. Feeling a little braver, he slowly unbuttoned the bottom half of her blouse before slipping one hand past the the smooth skin of her stomach to rest on her breast. He squeezed the mound of flesh, earning a surprised gasp from Clare.

Without warning, Clare spun around to face him, their faces were only inches apart. Fitz couldn't help but feel vulnerable under her gaze, unsure of whether he had taken things too far. The usual shade of blue in her eyes was overlapped by dilated pupils, engorged under the influence of the Mandy. Despite the fact that the music was still blasting from his truck's speakers, the world seemed to go silent, and time slowed down as the two teens stared at each other with hesitant lust.

Clare couldn't deny it to herself that she was attracted to Fitz; she shouldn't be, but she was. The drugs only highlighted that fact. She wanted so badly to touch him, to mark him, as he complimented her in a way that Eli never could. They were both less than human.

Thinking back to the words she spoke to him hours before, and banishing all thoughts of her facade and life as "Saint Clare", she decided to just go for it.

_What happens here, stays here._

In an unforeseeable event of cosmic alignment (or pure coincidence) Fitz seemed to have the same idea as well. Both teens lunged forward at the same time, their lips crashing together as hands gripped strands of hair and handfuls of clothing.

Despite the warmth of the night, Clare pressed her body close to Fitz, wanting to feel his heat radiate her entire form. Clenching the material of his shirt in her fists, she marveled at how unbelievably soft the cotton felt. A wicked idea struck her and she slipped both her hands under the front of his shirt, running them over the planes of his chest. Fitz ripped his mouth from hers and tore the shirt over his head before taking her hips in his hands and leaning down to work the skin of her neck with his teeth.

Clare moaned and the sensation of his mouth biting and sucking her pale skin right above her pulse point. He slid his hands up from her hips and roughly pulled her shirt apart, sending buttons flying to the cement floor. He craned his head back to get a better look at her form. She wore nothing under the blouse, except for a black lacy bra that left very little to the imagination. Her pale skin practically glowed from the moonlight.

While his eyes roamed over breasts, Clare was having trouble focusing on anything but Fitz's chiseled torso. Yes, she could always tell that he had some muscle under his shirt, but she was never expecting him to be so...ripped.

Of course she adored Eli's body, his toned chest and abs that were just barely visible; but he was rather skinny, so anything more than that would've looked freakish. But Fitz; everything about his torso just popped, begging to be leered at. His pectoral muscles were well pronounced without being too huge while his abs looked like something you could cut class with.

Simultaneously, both teens lifted their gaze to stare each other in the eye. Nothing had to be said. It was like a telepathic message was exchanged between the two with the way they looked at each other. Like vicious animals, they smashed their forms together so fast, it was hard to tell who made the first move.

Never breaking the seal he had on her lips, Fitz hoisted her body up easily, his hands gripping her hips before cupping her behind with hard squeeze. Clare responded by wrapping her legs around him and pulling on his hair. Fitz walked backwards until his ass hit the bed of the truck, he hopped up so that he was sitting on the tail, Clare now firmly in his lap. They pulled back from each other to catch their breaths. Fitz slid his hands up her back and unhooked her bra, tossing it over his shoulder. He slid his body back further into the bed of the truck before flipping Clare over and burrowing his face in her cleavage.

Clare's back hit the cold, metal hard;but what really knocked the wind out of her was the feeling of Fitz's mouth and hands roughly attacking her breasts in the most pleasant of ways. His teeth sunk into the skin of her breasts while his nimble fingers tweaked and twisted her nipples into hard points. She moaned loudly in approval and pain; a combination she never felt with Eli. Eli was always gentle, treating her body like glass.

Fitz handled her in a way that made her consider the possibility of using a "safe word"; the thought turned her on immensely.

Clare ran her hands down his back until reaching the waistband of his jeans where she moved to the front and began tugging at his belt buckle. Fitz pulled back from her chest and swatted her hands away to remove it himself. His eyes never left hers as he made quick work of his pants and boxers, bunching them down around his calves before ridding Clare of her shorts and panties.

He pushed her back down and hitched her legs around his waist, entering her without asking permission. There was no need too; he knew she wanted it just as bad as he did. Ever since the day he received an unexpected phone call from her asking for a ride home from the most unlikely of places, Fitz gradually became aware of the fact that Clare Edwards was not out of his reach like he once thought. His feelings of attraction for the girl for no longer one-sided fantasies played out in his head late at night while alone in his room.

They shared a connection, but not like most normal people. It wasn't spiritual or emotional; but rather psychological...soon to be physical.

Clare gasped as in delight and pain as he stretched her from the inside. He was much bigger than Eli, a fact that he would take pride in if she ever told him out loud. Fitz rested his forearms on either side of head while pounding into her with unrestrained force. She was surprised when he leaned down to kiss her roughly, adding further difficulty to her breathing pattern, but she didn't mind at all.

Clare jerked her hips to meet his thrusts, causing Fitz to moan into her mouth and break the kiss. Without warning, he flipped their positions with a smooth grace so that Clare was on top. He guided her hips to meet his in a fast and hard rhythm before turning his attention back to her breasts which bounced so teasingly before his face.

She could feel her orgasm building up, an intense ball of pressure in her stomach that was threatening to explode. The feeling only intensified as Fitz's mouth enclosed around her left breast. An unexpected string of swear words spilled forth from her mouth; even the most foul of sailors would've blushed at the sight and sounds of the two teenagers as they twisted and grinded their sweaty forms in a drug-induced passion.

When Fitz reached down to rub her clit, it was all over.

"Oh, shit Fitz!" Clare shrieked as her orgasm plowed into her like a truck speeding at eighty miles an hour. Her body shook so much, she would've shown concern had it not been for the most enjoyable feeling of pleasure spilling over every cell in her body. After what felt like hours, her body finally began to relax as her orgasm descended from it's high peak.

Before she could even find a moment to catch her breath, Fitz had already lifted her body off of him and plopped her next to him against the hard metal of the truck. He wrapped his hand around his cock and pumped twice before his own orgasm took over, spilling his cum onto his lower stomach. He groaned and collapsed next to Clare, breathing heavily while looking up at the night sky. Clare blinked twice, her actions and infidelity had just sunk into realization despite the fact that the Mandy they had taken was still going strong. And yet, she didn't feel dirty or guilty or ashamed at what she had done. With Shane, she didn't feel those things either, but she did feel panicked and motivated to end his life.

But not with Fitz, with him it felt...right.

"You didn't have to do that." she whispered. Her throat was a bit sore from all the screaming.

"Huh?" Fitz turned his head to look at her, his chest rose and descended shakily as he continued to catch his breath. The moonlight reflected off his sweaty body in an erotic glow that made her want to push aside her exhaustion and start again.

"You didn't have to pull out." Clare added. Fitz shot her a confused look.

"I-I wasn't wearing a condom, you know that right?"

"I'm on the pill." she explained. A recent development since her relationship with Eli had turned sexual.

"I uh-", Fitz swallowed hard, working up the nerve to say what was on his mind, what he really wanted to say and what he hoped she would agree too.

"I guess I'll just have to remember that next time, huh?" he said, shooting her an inquisitive look. Time seemed to stop as he waited for her answer.

When the corners of her lips turned upwards, he almost shouted out his thanks to God.

"Yeah, I guess you will." she said with a smoldering smirk.

His heart never felt lighter.

* * *

**Thoughts? Worth the wait?**


	8. Under the Emotional Radar

**A/N: Short chapter for 'yall; well shorter than the last one anyway. I won't be able to update as frequently as in the past since I landed a full-time job. But I would like to get a chapter up at least once every two weeks as well as finish the story before the next season premieres. No promises though... The only thing I can guarantee is that this story _will_ see completion; I don't abandon my shit.  
**

**Chapter 8: Under the Emotional Radar**

Clare woke up the next morning under a scratchy blanket, still in the bed of Fitz's truck. To her own surprise, she felt no shame or guilt, not even regret over the fact that she had willingly cheated on her boyfriend, again, and didn't plan on it being a one-time thing. Fitz was sprawled out naked next to her, having kicked the blanket off him sometime during the night- he was fully exposed to the morning sun, the heat of June about to sink in.

He grumbled something inaudible in his sleep and rolled over onto his side, throwing an arm over her waist. Clare took the hint and fell back asleep,the drug having left her body feeling drained of all energy while her muscles ached from her activities with her boyfriend's worst enemy.

When they awoke, Fitz drove her home and told her to keep in touch over the summer, she said she intended too. Later that night, Eli came over her to "watch a movie". While she lay beneath his sweaty form as he pumped in and out of her with smooth strokes, Clare met his thrusts with a controlled pace of her own while staring vacantly at the ceiling. She sighed in a bored pleasure, wishing instead to be pounded so hard that she screamed.

She got her wish the next afternoon on top of the bar in "Above the Dot"when she visited Fitz on his lunch break.

Clare found herself balancing not just two, but three different lives. There were her responsibilities as "Saint Clare" which consisted of being a girlfriend to Eli and a friend to Alli and Adam. There were her sessions with Bennett wherein they tracked, captured, and killed innocent hikers who wandered near their "kill spot". And finally, there were her rendezvous with Fitz- an activity that was quickly becoming her preferred method of killing time.

Fitz was able to give her what Eli couldn't- raw, unrestrained passion and force. Even while sober the two still managed to have mind-blowing sex. Of course, as she became more intimate Eli, things got better and she was able to reach her peak. But his slow and sweet lovemaking could never compare to the screaming and scratching poundings that Fitz delivered.

However, she soon realized that her interest in Eli was beginning to dwindle. She could admit to herself that she had feelings for the boy, well, as much as someone like her could. But her attraction and connection to Fitz was beginning to overshadow her interest in Eli, not that she let him know that anyway...at first.

It was a little over a month into the summer when their relationship began to go downhill. Of course, Clare could see this coming a mile away, she just didn't want to acknowledge the impending arguments and heart-to-heart chats. She just wanted to get away.

Bennett's suggestion to leave Toronto behind was beginning to sound reasonable.

Eli's consistent need to be in her presence was beginning to grow annoying, not to mention a hindrance on her respective plans with her brother and Fitz. She used to be the master of lying to Eli; coming up with legitimate and convincing lies to cover her absences. But now, she couldn't find the energy to offer him a believable excuse about why she didn't want to join him for dinner or spend the night when his parents were off at a concert.

Her responses to his inquires lacked description, and were short and aloof. It was like she wasn't even trying anymore. But she convinced herself that her relationship with Eli was her only saving grace. People would look at the two of them together and see a smart, sensible girl with a deeply disturbed and gloomy boy- a match that had no chance in hell of lasting. But what they didn't know was that while Eli was damaged in his own way- Clare's trauma was exponentially greater- and she hid it very well.

She needed Eli, but not in the way that he needed her. Eli needed her for validation, he needed her to help keep everything together. Clare just needed him to cover up her lies and her horrible truths; a human accessory if there ever was one.

Lately, their relationship had grown tense, and Eli was beginning to notice the growing space she instigated between them. She rarely ever initiated the intimacy or touches between them, preferring to instead shrug off his advances with the excuse that she had to get home to her mother or she just wasn't in the mood. Her disinterest in being touched by him was a blow to Eli's male ego, leaving him confused and agitated. Their parting kisses, once drawn-out and hard were becoming small pecks. Their sex left Eli dripping in sweat and panting for oxygen, while Clare seemed only minimally flushed, her breathing barely above normal.

The fact that he couldn't get his girlfriend to fall apart at the seems anymore left Eli distraught and anxious. Was he losing his mojo? He couldn't even confide in anyone about it. Adam was his best friend but the subject of sex never really came up because of Adam's...physical situation. He considered asking Bullfrog, but he knew it would just turn into a dirty story about his parents' sexual history.

Eli being Eli, wouldn't let her disinterest in physical intimacy pass without questioning. In fact he was constantly questioning her; somewhere in his mind he had convinced himself that every moment Clare was not happy was detrimental to their relationship. He asked her about her home life, he asked her if there was something wrong, he asked her _he_ was doing something wrong.

Never once did he ask if there was _someone_ else; the thought never occurred to him. How could it? She was Clare Edwards- the faithful, sensitive girl whom by all means was too good for him and yet chose him to be her first love, and hopefully her only one.

So Eli began to pull out all the stops to boost their love out of it's mid-summer slump, which meant surprising her with sweet gestures. Unfortunately for Eli, Clare Edwards wasn't the type of girl to go weak in the knees at an unexpected surprise.

She hated being surprised or caught off-guard because she always had to be on guard.

The two teens were currently sitting in silence in Morty as Eli drove them back to Toronto. What was supposed to be a romantic surprise venture to the lake had turned into argument and an early trip back. He had picked her up that afternoon with the intention of bringing her to the lake where they would watch the sun set against the water, eat some of his moms cheesecake, go for a dip, maybe make love under the stars if things went well.

However, Clare only complained about not having a swimsuit or towel and wasn't keen on Eli's suggestion to just go skinny dipping. She thought it would only be a short date, not a drawn out evening away from civilization. Not that she would tell him, but Clare had already made plans to hang out with Bennett that night. Therefore, she wasn't in the mood to cuddle with Eli but rather saw apart some anonymous victim and crack jokes with Bennett.

Eli bit his lip as his hands clenched the steering wheel. From the corner of his eye, he watched Clare as she sat with her arms crossed and eyes set on the road before them. His mind was racing with possible things to say; make a joke to break the tension or instigate a serious conversation about their relationship and where it was heading.

Clare's recent behavior reminded him too much of Julia and how their relationship feel apart. It started with her being agitated and cold; no matter what gestures he pulled to prove his love, the plans always backfired leaving him more confused and alone than ever.

He watched as Clare heaved a frustrated sigh and glanced down at her watch for the seventh time (he had been counting) since they left the lake. Why would she do that? Was she counting the seconds until she would be free from his presence?

Eli turned his head fully to stare at his girlfriend. Even while pissed off and grumpy, she still managed to be beautiful. The moonlight reflected off her pale skin with an alluring glow that made her eyes seem even bluer and clearer. He opened his mouth to say something to her; but paused when he saw her eyes open wide and her jaw drop. Confusion raced through his mind as she screamed-

"Eli, stop the car!"

"Wha-" a loud crash forced his eyes back to the road where he caught a glimpse of an animal's body smacking the windshield before barreling over the top of the hearse. He slammed down on the breaks, causing the hearse to come to a screeching stop.

"What the fuck was that?" Eli exclaimed as he fought to steady his rapid heartbeat.

"Maybe if you were paying attention to the road you would know!" Clare snapped before he opening the passenger side door and getting out to inspect the damage. Eli opened his mouth to retaliate, but the slamming of the car door cut him off. Disgruntled, he followed Clare's lead and got out of the hearse.

He walked over to where Clare stood above the trampled animal. As he got closer, he was able to see that the animal was in fact a deer, it's legs bent into awkward angles, clearly broken. But what was more eye-catching was the fact that the animal was still breathing, occasionally releasing agonized cries.

"Jesus Christ!" Eli exclaimed, "I didn't even now deers could make noise!"

"Well you kind of have to hit them with a car first, but yes they are capable of vocal expression." Clare said dryly as she examined the animal with nonchalant interest. Eli shot her glare before turning around to inspect his prized car, groaning when he saw the damage.

There was a long thin crack running up the middle of the windshield and the front bumper was horribly dented. He popped the hood to check the engine before climbing behind the wheel and turning the key in the ignition. He breathed a sigh of relief when Morty started up without complaint, thankful that the only damage had been external.

He stuck his head out the door and called out to Clare, "Come on, let's go! I can drop Morty off at a repair shop and walk you home." Clare however, remained still, refusing to turn her eyes away from the animal in pain.

She couldn't help herself, there was just something so beautiful about the animal as it struggled to hang on to what little life it had left. She was reminded of one of her and Bennett's victims as they were cut up piece by piece. But the thought of her brother and how her plans with him had been soured by Eli's stupid plans tore her from such introspective thoughts. She glanced at the animal, an idea forming in her mind. The corners of her lips quivered a bit; she was so engrossed in her own thoughts that she didn't even hear Eli walk up behind her.

"You shouldn't have to watch this," he whispered while grabbing her arm, "come on, let's go."

Clare tore her arm from his grasp (a little too harshly for Eli's liking) "No." she said, shaking her head and staring at the deer.

"No? Clare what-"

"We can't just leave it here, Eli."

"I'm not taking that thing to a vet if that's what-"

"Don't be stupid!" she cut him off, "I wasn't suggesting that we take it to the vet."

"Then what are you suggesting?" Eli asked, his temper was beginning to wear thin.

"It's suffering." Clare pointed out. "We need to put it out of it's misery; it's the humane thing to do."

Eli's mouth nearly dropped to the ground at her suggestion. _This_ was not something his girlfriend would say.

"What? Clare," he shook his head, unsure of what to say. Somehow, he found it within himself to let out a chuckle. The situation itself wasn't particularly humorous, but in a way Clare's uncharacteristic suggestion coupled with her surprising lack of squeamishness around a an animal close to death was just too much for him. Clare watched in confusion as he laughed to himself, she couldn't help but let out a small giggle herself.

"What's so funny?" Clare asked.

"Nothing, nothing- just a thought I had." Eli waved it off, steadying his chuckles. "We don't need to do anything, Clare. Nature will take it's course; just get in the hearse and I'll take you home." he urged her.

Clare shook her head, "No."

"No?" Clare shot him an incredulous look.

"Don't you go hunting with your dad every year? It could take hours for this deer to die. For all we know, there are no internal injuries; but it's not like those broken legs can heal themselves."

"Clare-"

"Do it, Eli. Put it out of it's misery." Clare demanded.

"What? No, I'm doing that; just get in the car and we'll-"

"I'm not leaving until that animal's suffering is over." she insisted.

Eli raked a hand through his hear. He couldn't believe what he was hearing . Clare had always been one to speak against violence or killing of any kind. Her insistence for him to kill an animal that was knocking on death's door was just so...out of character.

"Clare," he paused, unsure of what to say to her, "I just- I," he let out a heavy sigh, staring down at his shoes. "I can't. I can't -do that, Clare. Now will you please just get in the hearse so we can go home." He looked up to see the look she was giving him. It was an unreadable look that emitted a sense of disappointment and frustration. The blue eyed beauty groaned and shook her head.

"Fine," she relented, her jaw becoming tense. "if you won't do it- I will."

Before Eli even had a chance to question her, Clare had pushed past him and flung open the hearse's back door. She pulled out the tire iron from from the box of tools that he kept on hand for when the aged automobile broke down. Things seemed to move in slow motion as Eli watched his normally reserved girlfriend raise the tool over her head and smashed it down into the deer's skull.

The first impact resulted in the deer letting a strangled cry of pain as blood began pooling from the dent that that Clare had delivered in the side of it's head. Whether she ignored the cry or didn't even notice was a mystery to Eli as she delivered yet another blow, silencing the deer and causing a spray of blood to erupt onto her uncovered shins. The animal stopped moving, it's eyes glazing over with death almost instantly.

Clare turned around, brushing past her stunned boyfriend to pull out a roll of paper towels from the back of the hearse. She cleaned off the tire iron as best she could before wiping the blood from her shins.

To say the least, Eli was speechless. Hadn't Clare always spoke out against violence? Come to think of it, she had never made her feelings about killing animals for sport or otherwise known. All he really knew was that she supported strict gun control laws. Seeing as how Clare was a caring a compassionate person, it almost made sense that she would suggest a mercy killing for an animal in pain. But most mercy killings were delivered through painless injections of lethal chemicals; not a tire iron.

"Let's get going. That crack in the windshield is already beginning to spread out." Clare nudged Eli out of his thoughts as she casually sunk into the front seat of Morty. Eli took one last look at the deer; blood was still spilling from it's head. Pushing any inquiries to the back of his mind, he followed suit and started up the car.

The rest of the drive was made in complete silence, despite the voice in his head screaming at him to ask Clare about what she had just done. But he could tell from his stiff stance that she was in no mood to talk about anything; still hung up on the day's previous arguments before the deer even crossed in front of Morty.

Eli decided it was best to put the interrogation off for a few days, despite what his consciousness told him.


	9. Psychotic Girl

A/N: I own nothing.

**Chapter 9: Psychotic Girl**

A tense air hung about the normally in-tune couple as Eli finally pulled up to the mechanic's garage where Morty was a frequent visitor. Eli sighed to himself as Clare immediately exited the car and slammed the door behind her- causing the crack in the windshield to further spread. He clenched his jaw out of anger and hesitance, opened his door and followed behind in his girlfriend's trail to the front office.

Despite the lateness of the hour, the shop was still open- an aspect that kept Eli coming back to the garage. Of course, he tried to fix Morty as best he could on his own- but sometimes he needed a professional to get the job done.

He joined Clare as she leaned against the front desk with a bored look on her face. He considered saying something snarky to ease the mood, but decided against it. There was no need to piss her off even more, not after what he had seen her do to that deer. Instead, he pounded his hand down on the service bell several times to alert one of the guys in the garage of their presence.

"Yeah, yeah. Keep your pants on; I'm coming!" an annoyed voice shouted from the back. Eli kept his eyes forward, not noticing how Clare's brow furrowed as the sound of the voice- it sounded so...familiar to her.

The door to the garage swung open to reveal her brother, Bennett, dressed in a torn jeans and gray t-shirt that looked like it had been used to soak up an oil spill. His eyes landed on her first, causing his eyes to widen and a knowing smirk to spread over his face.

"Hey Bennett." Eli nodded. Bennett's eyes immediately shifted over to the younger man. Clare's eyes nearly popped out of her skull. How in the hell did Eli know her brother? Did he know he _was_ her brother?

"Eli!" Bennett greeted him. "Death-mobile giving you trouble again?"

"Little car accident actually. I hit a deer." Eli shrugged, somewhat embarrassed. "There was some cosmetic damage that I just can't fix on my own."

"Good thing you have me, then." Bennett grinned while wiping his hands on a rag. "Who's your lady friend?" he asked, nodding in Clare's direction. She resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

"This is my girlfriend, Clare," he turned to her, "Clare, this is Bennett. At this point, I think he knows Morty better than I do."

"And I get paid for it too." Bennett added with a smirk. Eli shook his head and slapped his keys down on the front desk. Bennett plucked them up in his hands and opened the door to the garage, sticking his head in.

"Hey Chewy! There's a hearse with some cosmetic damage out front, go check it out for an estimate. " He tossed the keys to the unseen co-worker and turned his attention back to the couple.

"Just go out front and Chewy will asses the damage, give you an estimate and a time-frame, fill out some paperwork." his eyes darted over to Clare, "I can entertain your lady friend while you talk things over with him."

Eli raised his eyebrow as his face tensed up a little bit. He turned to Clare who wordlessly gave him a look that said "just go with it, I'll be fine." He nodded and planted a light kiss on her cheek before heading out the front door. Once the heavy metal door slammed shut, Clare turned to her brother.

"Why didn't you tell me you knew my boyfriend?" she asked accusingly.

"Relax; you're name has never come up before. Hell he never even made any mention of a girlfriend before."

"But you knew he had one." Bennett rolled his eyes, growing bored with the subject fast.

"Moving on, I guess this is the reason you're late for our plans tonight huh?" Clare groaned and slumped against the counter, resting her head in her hands.

"Eli thought it would be nice to rekindle our relationship with a surprise road trip to the middle of nowhere."

"Ugh, spare me the sappy details of your sex life little sister," Clare opened her mouth to protest but he continued without notice, "the reason I wanted to meet with you tonight was to discuss something of great importance."

"Really?" she asked with disappointment, "You just wanted to talk?"

"Not just about anything," he lowered his voice, "I found him."

"Found who?"

Bennett took a deep breath before saying- "I found the man responsible for it all- our mother's death, our suffering and separation, our lust for blood. I found him."

"Seriously? I didn't even know you were looking for him."

"Yeah, I wanted it to be a surprise for your 16th birthday," which was happening in two weeks, "but I just couldn't wait any longer."

"Where is he?" Clare asked while glancing over her shoulder to take a look out the window, ensuring that Eli was still distracted.

"He's been living in Hamilton for the past few years now; even owns a bar."

"And you're planning to..." Clare drawled off- they both knew what he was planning to do to the man who tore their family apart.

"With you. If you'll join me. If not, then I have no hold-ups about going through with it on my own."

"What makes you think I would pass up an opportunity for revenge?" Clare asked, somewhat insulted.

"Absolutely nothing." he grinned. Clare shook her head at his odd behavior and chuckled lightly. "Look, I needed to tell you something else- I won't be around as much in the upcoming weeks. I need to head up to Hamilton to scope out the target's routine, find a good kill spot and formulate an ambush plan."

"And I'm not invited?" Clare asked, definitely insulted.

"It's for your own good. I can't risk something happening if he catches on early. We have no idea what connections, if any he still has." He reached across the counter and grabbed her hand, "I'm just trying to keep you safe, Maya. And it's just for now, once I work out a plan- you'll be included every step of the way. But for now-"

"I'm on my own." Clare finished for him.

"You were on your own for twelve years; what's another 2 weeks?" he reminded her. Clare nodded softly. "Just...do what you want to do, Maya. Make up a lie- head up to the camp for a day and blow off some steam on whoever you find there." His eyes lit up, "wait here- I just had an idea."

"Did it hurt?" Clare called out sarcastically. Bennett gave no reply as he slipped through the door to the garage. She waited for several long moments, tapping her fingers against the counter.

"Here," Bennett's voice rang out as he walked back into the office. Clare lifted her head and yelped as a set of keys came flying towards her face. She caught them just in time. "Use the Challenger to drive up there."

"Seriously? You're trusting me with your car?" she asked with disbelief.

"You're the only person I trust in this world, Maya." he said in a soft seriousness.

Clare looked back up at him, speechless yet appreciative.

"It's better this way. I can't use the Challenger to follow someone- like you said, it sticks out. I'm just going to borrow one of the garage's trucks."

"Thank you." Clare said, genuinely meaning it.

"Don't sweat it." he shrugged, looking out the window. "Now try and act casual, your boyfriend will be in here in five seconds." she quickly shoved the keys into her purse.

Sure enough, Eli walked back into the office followed by a short but broad Hispanic man wearing dark blue coveralls.

"Ready to go?" Eli asked with uncertainty. Clare glanced at her brother one last time before plastering on her most convincing smile and turning to Eli.

"Yeah, let's get out of here." she grasped his hand and began pulling him out the door. Eli gave her a look of surprised appreciation.

"Thanks again Bennett."

"Stay safe!" Bennett called back. Eli chuckled at the older man's words as he draped an arm around Clare's shoulders and led her into the night. However, Clare was aware that Bennett's words were not a sexual joke, but rather a reminder to her about the car, about the kill spot, and about her cover.

* * *

For some reason, the idea of killing on her own was daunting and overwhelming. Of course she had slaughtered plenty of dogs on her lonesome; but dogs were dogs. Dogs could be replaced and forgotten.

But people, depending on who they were, couldn't disappear without someone showing concern.

She thought about the other times she had killed- she always had someone with her, to aid her. Earlier in the year, it had always been Shane. In fact, the only person she ever killed on her own _was_ Shane. And she had no intentions of killing her current partner in darkness as he was the only blood she had.

Was it odd that the most connected she ever felt to another person was when they were helping her cut up some poor sap to bits?

Clare knew that there was only one person in the world (besides her brother) who could even be so much as considered as a potential killing partner. The only question was: would he be up for it? Or would he reject her in her hour of need?

* * *

Clare sighed in content as she watched the old woman's face grow devoid of all life and blood flow. The only thing left of her was stump of a body connected to head of wild gray hair that looked like it hadn't been washed properly in years. Her limbs lay scattered on the floor, seeping puddles of blood onto the plastic tarp.

The old woman had clearly been crazy- walking barefoot and dazed in the woods by herself. The was no need to be hesitant about choosing her as a victim; from the looks of it she had been in the forest for years. No one would miss her.

"So what now?" a deep voice asked. Clare looked up at Fitz, admiring the way his blood-soaked surgical smock clung to his muscled chest.

"Now we clean." she stated simply, "Clean up the kill room, throw the body into a tub downstairs with some lye."

"Business, huh?" Fitz queried.

"Yep. The fun part is over." Clare said while picking an arm up from the floor and stuffing it into a garbage bag.

"Doesn't have to be." Fitz said with a knowing smirk. Clare looked up to his eyes roaming over her body. A familiar fire started brewing in her lower stomach.

"First things first, Fitzy- mop up this mess while I dispose of the body." she ordered.

"Oh come on, " he groaned. "The body's not going anywhere." he reached out and began massaging her shoulders in effort to distract her from the mess at hand.

"I know that, but still-" she paused trying to think out her reasoning, "it makes more sense to clean up now."

"Why?"

"Because if we put it off to fuck, then there's no telling when we'll get around to it." she said, giving him a knowing look. "You tend to leave me drained of energy."

"In the best way." he grinned. Clare rolled her eyes and tossed a bag of rags at his head.

"Get a move on."

Fitz hadn't been hesitant at all to accompany her to the kill spot. She had feared that by exposing her hidden talents with a knife would drive him away. She had feared that he would see that real her and recoil in disgust. But on the contrary, his eyes lit up in an almost dangerous way when she had told him about her exploits with her brother.

Watching Fitz wield a bone saw with steady hands and an elated smile sparked something within her. It wasn't like the spark she had first felt when growing closer to Eli (that spark had died down to a small poke), but rather as if her shadow self was growing somewhat unrestrained.

She didn't know what it was exactly.

It seemed that her portrayl of Saint Clare was growing less convincing as the summer sped by. Killing a deer in front of Eli was a red flag of this phenomenon. But for some reason, she found it hard to care. Several months ago, a slip-up like that would've sent her spiraling into a nervous wreck- a battle of morality and secrecy raging on in her mind.

In the past, Radnall's voice would sometimes break through her dark thoughts to remind her of what she needed to be for her own protection. But it had been months since she heard the departed man's voice act as her nonexistent conscience. She could feel herself changing, growing wreckless,.

But Clare had no quandaries about stopping; she was slowly learning to embrace change.

* * *

He groaned at the feeling of her fingernails digging into the skin of his shoulders; threatening to draw blood. Fitz lowered his head to the crook of her neck and bit down on the space between her shoulder and neck- hard.

"Ow! Shit!" Clare shrieked, followed by a raspy moan.

"Shut up, you like it." Fitz panted while never stopping the thrusting movement of his hips.

The older boy was currently lifting Clare up by the back of her legs, her back pinned to the wall as he viciously pounded into her.

"You're gonna leave a mark if you keep doing that." Clare shot back.

"I could say the same thing to you and your fingernails."

After Clare had properly disposed of the body, she returned to the kill room only to find that Fitz hadn't done much cleaning at all. Instead, he took the time to smoke a joint while drawing patterns on the blood soaked table with his finger tips.

She should've been angry at his procrastination. Just because they were in the middle of nowhere did not erase their chances of being caught by the police or any law-abiding citizen.

But she was too horny to give a fuck.

After several minutes of fucking her against the wall, Fitz backed up and moved her onto the table that was still wet with blood. He loomed over her and continued his thrusting; the smell of freshly spilled blood did nothing to distract either of them from the current task at hand.

Clare couldn't help but grimace every time Eli used the phrase "make love";it was just so cheesy, so unfitting, and so unattainable for someone like her. But with Fitz, there was no love- only painful pleasure and a spike in adrenaline. It was exactly what she wanted.

"Oh!" she gasped as Fitz hit a sweet spot, deep inside of her. He smirked down at her and hit it again and again until she finally fell apart at the seems with a loud moan. Her hand that had been clenching the side of the table was now thoroughly stained with their victims blood. She reached up and squeezed Fitz's shoulder and flipped them so that she was the one on top.

Fitz could feel the still-warm blood soaking his sweaty back. But any protests quickly flew out the window as Clare began bouncing up and down on his cock. He grasped her hips and pulled himself into a sitting position, burrowing his face into her cleavage. Clare shuddered in pleasure as his warm mouth enveloped her left nipple, but she quickly pushed his head back from her chest.

Fitz shot her a confused look, but his thoughts were soon tuned out as Clare slammed down on his cock one final time, sending him into climax. Once the boy beneath her stopped shaking, Clare rose up on her knees, hissing slightly as she discontented herself from Fitz, who fell onto his back in exhaustion, ignoring the blood-soaked status of the table.

Clare pulled the condom of his now limp member and tossed it into one of the empty trash bags.

She turned around, and looked at Fitz, who was currently propped up on his elbows grinning at her.

"You look hot. Red is definitely your color." he nodded. Clare glanced down at her body; her knees, shins, and back were covered in blood.

"I could say the same to you." she retorted before picking a mop from the floor and tossing it to him without warning. "Now clean this mess up."

Fitz rolled his eyes, but took the mop without complaint. He pulled on his boxers and grabbed bucket from under the table. "I just need to fill this up and take a leak first." he said while making his way to the door. He stopped suddenly and turned around.

"Hey is there a-"

"There's a shower downstairs. The only temperature are cold and arctic; but it works." Clare answered. Fitz nodded and walked out the door.

Clare looked at the table, staring at the pools of blood and the marks her and Fitz had left behind. She dipped her finger in the warm liquid and brought it to her lips, smearing it over the delicate skin as if it were everyday lip balm.

The coppery taste permeated onto her tongue and through her nostrils. Clare breathed in deeply before running her touge over lips in a slow circle, all while gazing at the liquid remeants of her last victim and contemplating her next.


	10. Blood Lust

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter 10: Blood Lust

Eli grinned at his girlfriend as he popped open the bottle of red wine he had swiped from his parent's surplus. Clare offered him her most believable smile as he poured her a glass before taking a long sip- as if trying to start the intoxication sooner.

"Go easy with that stuff Edwards." Eli warned her jokingly as he poured a glass for himself. Clare rolled her eyes in a teasing manner; she didn't feel like explaining to him that she had done stuff much harder than wine in the past few months.

Maybe it was guilt, or the need to re-establish her ailing cover as "St. Clare", but Clare had to force herself with gritted teeth and a nod when Eli invited her over for the night. Cece and Bullfrog were on an overnight trip to Buffalo for a concert, leaving the house devoid of any parental interruptions or annoyances.

It had been a week since the "deer incident" and Eli had made no mention of the event other than informing her that the damage to Morty had been fixed. Needless to say, Clare was surprised by Eli's lack of concern over seeing his seemingly innocent girlfriend slaughter a deer with no hesitance. It wasn't like him, settling for his questions to remain unanswered. She couldn't even let out the smallest of bored sighs without having Eli ask her what was wrong.

She brushed it off. Rather than drive herself into a needless paranoia over the subject, Clare decided to just leave it behind her. If Eli wanted to act like he had never seen her bash an animal's head in with a tire iron, that was fine by her.

"So, you got a birthday coming up next week." Eli said, breaking her from her thoughts. She looked up at him as he swirled his wine around in his glass, pausing to take a small sip.

"Yeah, it appears so." Clare nodded. In truth, Clare doubted that next week was her actual birthday. Randall and Helen changed her name when they brought her into their lives; chances were good that they did the same to her birthday.

"Have you thought about what you wanted to do?" In the back of Clare's mind, a dark chuckle erupted. If things worked out, her birthday would consist of getting revenge on the man who killed her biological mother.

"Not really, no. It's not a big deal to me." Clare shrugged. Eli looked at her with wide eyes.

"Not a big deal? You're turning sixteen! Most girls start planning their sweet sixteen parties at age twelve." Eli gasped.

"Interesting how you would know that."

"Clare, come on. You can't just let one of the most important days of the year pass by without acknowledging it. Seize the day, carpe diem!" he urged.

Clare finished off her glass of wine, wishing she had smoked a joint or maybe popped a pill before going over to Eli's. The boy was becoming a little overbearing, and the wine did nothing to help her ignore it.

"Look, Eli, it's fine. I just think birthdays are overrated. Why should I have to celebrate the fact that my parents decided to have sex and nine months later I emerged from my mother's vagina covered in placenta and blood? It's not much of a phenomenon, seeing as how everyone else in the world went through the same process." she explained, boredom lacing her voice.

Eli gapped at her.

"Well whether you like it or not, I have every intention of not only acknowledging your birthday, but making it special as well." he assured her with enthusiasm once his initial shock had faded.

"How are you going to make it special?" Clare asked, cocking her eyebrow. Eli smirked at her before finishing off his wine and setting the glass down on the coffee table.

"Well, I _could_ tell you, or I could give you a little preview upstairs." he said huskily. Clare bit her lip before smiling shyly and nodding- her signature move that not only turned Eli on but also reinforced her portrayal of a seemingly innocent girl.

The green eyed boy grinned widely as he grabbed her hand, pulling her up from the couch and leading her to his bedroom.

Despite the fact that sex with Eli had grown rather monotonous over the past few months, it held more interest to her than having an actual conversation with him.

–

She stared at his neck. More importantly, she stared at the vein popping up beneath his skin. The external jugular vein. Right above his pulse point, the vein swelled in and out, in time with his heavy breathing. Eli was currently hovering over her flushed body, her knees pinned to either side of his waist as he teasingly slid in and out of her.

Clare craned her neck and attached her lips directly above the vein that ruled her attention at the moment. Eli hummed deeply at the feeling of her light suction on the his neck. Her mind couldn't help but flashback to the incident in grade 9 when shit kissed Declan Coyne on the neck. In truth, the kiss had been a last-minute turnaround, a cop-out almost.

Her real intention that day was to bite that rich bastard so hard that his skin would break.

However, Randall's voice seared through her mind the moment her lips made contact with the older teen's skin. What could have become a big problem instead became an embarrassing and awkward moment. Maybe everyone was right; maybe she really did have a vampire fetish. But it ran much deeper than just getting off on being bitten or biting someone else-

Rather, it was blood lust.

She turned her attention back to the task at hand and sucked harder her boyfriend's neck, occasionally scraping her teeth against his flesh. Admittedly, it was something she enjoyed. Strangely, she had never done it to Fitz- he was too domineering for that move. Most of the time he had her completely pinned down or was slamming into her so hard she couldn't bring herself to focus on anything but the shocks of pleasure surging through her body.

Growing restless, Clare bit down on Eli's neck, thus earning a moan. She applied pressure slowly, gauging how far she could go by the sounds he was making. Maybe she would get lucky and discover that Eli had a masochistic side.

"Ah Clare! Yeah!" he growled, "Don't be afraid to bite a little harder!"

She smirked against his skin, rolling her eyes upward to meet his. His eyes were dilated with lust, as if it were a drug. Clare took that as the green light and sank her teeth into him without restraint. His eyes nearly rolled into the back of his head as let yelled out in painful bliss.

Eli couldn't figure out why Clare's vicious bites were turning him on so much. He had always appreciated a little roughness now and then, but he was actually in pain by the way the Clare dugged her teeth into him as if she was trying to draw blood. But despite this pain, he was in pleasure heaven and ecstatic over the fact that Clare was interested sex again. The recent slump in their physical relationship had left him confused and horny.

But his deep thoughts were soon pushed aside as Clare somehow managed to push him completely onto his back in a time of 2 seconds. Her lips now unattached his to his neck, Clare smirked down at his astonished face as she began grinding her hips into his causing him moan and clench his eyes shut. That look on her face was enough to make him cum on the spot, but he wasn't ready for it to be over yet...not by a long shot.

His cracked back open at the feel of her hands planting against his chest. She begain thrusting her hips at his with a bit more vigor, moaning every time he managed to hit that deep soot inside of her.

Not wanting to be a selfish lover, Eli reached a hand up cup her breast and massage it. He looked up at her moaning lips to see that they were glistening with blood.

He brought his free hand up to his neck wiped at his moist skin.

_His blood._

Her lips were coated in his blood.

"I really like this side of you, Clare." he whispered. "So rough, so fuckin' sexy!"

"Don't be afraid to be a little rough to me." Clare replied. He looked at her in confusion, unsure of whether she was being serious or not. She shot him a challenging look, lips pursed and eyes narrowed.

In response, Eli clenched her hips in his hands and began thrusting his hips upwards with vigor, his backside arching completely off the mattress. Clare shrieked in surprised before her breathing began to pick up, her lips letting out the most erotic of pants. He Thrust into her several more times before hoisting himself of the bed so that he was sitting up, their torsos parallel.

He placed on hand on her back, the other looped beneath her arm to clench her shoulder. Without further warning, he began thrusting once again. He pounded into her so hard he that could feel bruises forming on his hips as well as his approaching climax reaching critical level.

His fingernails dug into the skin on her back and shoulder; causing her moan loudly.

Determined to outlast his girlfriend, Eli let go of her shoulder and brought his hand down between them. His thumb pressed down hard against her clit as he jerked his hips up with an added twist.

She fell apart at the seams- causing him to let go as well. His body was on fire; along with the waves of pleasure ransacking his limbs, he could also feel the thin trickle of warm blood running down his chest. He held Clare in his arms as his body shook under the weight of the orgasm, as if clinging to her would help him from falling off completely.

"Amazing." he muttered into the skin of Clare's shoulder. It was the word his lips and brain could spit out at the moment.

After a little while, the feeling of him growing soft inside her became uncomfortable. Clare pushed Eli back onto the bed with little trouble and lifted herself off of him, hopping off the bed to go clean up in the bathroom.

By the time she settled down next to Eli, he was already in a deep sleep.

Clare looked up at the moonlit sky as she shuffled around in Eli's backyard. She was smoking a joint and fidgeting with her cell phone, debating whether or not to call Fitz so she could sneak off with him for a few hours.

She couldn't sleep.

Eli was still in a heavy state of sleep, snoring softly when Clare pulled on some shorts and one of his t-shirts and exited the room after spending an hour just lying next to him, hoping for sleep. Despite the fact that she had just had the best sex with Eli in a while; she was restless. Something inside of her growled not in fulfillment but for the need for more. But, more of what?

It wasn't like Clare had been planning to pull out the aggressive act in bed that night, it just happened. Much like the incident with the deer, Clare had done something impulsive, something that showed a hint of her true nature to Eli. In her thoughts, she hoped that the rough sex would cancel out the random animal bludgeoning. But in her heart- she just didn't give a fuck anymore.

She sighed and stared down at Fitz's contact page in her phone, snapping it shut. Already that night, she had displayed suspicious behavior in front of Eli. She couldn't take the risk of sneaking off only to have him wake up to an empty bed. Instead, she would just have to rely on the hazy effect of marijuana to lure her into sleep.

Clenching the joint tightly between her lips, Clare too a long but slow drag- filling her lungs completely with smoke. Removing the joint from her mouth- she took another breath and held the smoke for several seconds before exhaling. She covered her mouth as a few coughs racked her throat.

From the corner of her eye, she saw something move, causing her to turn her body fully in that direction. What she saw relieved her while at the same time sparking a flicker of rage and annoyance.

Sitting before her, was a pit bull.

His fur looked slightly matted and unwashed. Gauging from his size and appearance, it was a young dog, maybe a year old. The animal made no noises whatsoever. He only sat on the grass, staring at Clare with an unreadable expression in his eyes.

Despite the dog's peaceful manner, Clare couldn't help but feel threatened. After what had happened to her mother, she was never really fond of dogs, and she figured they probably felt the same way.

She looked around her at surroundings, searching for something to make the animal go away. She spotted a grapefruit-sized rock next the back door and picked it up, testing it's heaviness. Turning back to the dog, she held the rock above her head and waited for it to feel threatened, to run away.

But the dog merely sat there with a stupid look on it's face, staring up at her. His tail began to wag, as if anticipating that the rock would be thrown _for_ him to chase rather than at him. Clare scoffed at his reaction and almost dropped the rock in defeat and frustration.

She bit the inside of her cheek and shook her head, knowing that if she didn't follow through with her instincts, she'd be tossing and turning all night.

Without a second thought, Clare once again held the rock over her head and brought it down hard on the unassuming pit bull's skull. He let out a small whimper before collapsing on the lawn , shaking slightly as blood seeped out of the open dent in his skull. Clare chuckled softly to herself before looking up at Eli's window.

The lights were still off and no noises were coming from the house, meaning that the pit bull's cries of pain did nothing to disturb Eli's sleep. Clare snuck back inside, grabbing a garbage bag from the hallway closet and some ratty old towels that Eli used to wash Morty.

After wrapping the dog's body and in a towel and securing it in a plastic garbage bag, Clare hosed off the bloodstain on the lawn where the pit bull's head had been. Moving quietly, she lugged the dog's body up the block and dumped it in a neighbor's trashcan. She began walking back to Eli's house, positive that no one had seen her.

Just before she opened the front door, Clare spotted a garbage truck moving up the road and stopping at the house where she had just disposed of the dog's body. She waited until the garbage men had emptied the cans into their truck before turning the door knob and heading inside.

She rinsed off the blood and lingering smell of marijuana from her hands before crawling into bed besides Eli, who remained asleep. Closing her eyes, she fell into an immediate slumber.

–

She woke up to light kisses being placed on her neck and something hard pressing into her thigh. Opening her eyes, she smiled sleepily up at her boyfriend as he loomed above her.

"What's with all the clothes?" he asked running his hand beneath her shirt and caressing her stomach.

"Had to get up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom." she lied.

"You know my parent's are out of town, right? There's no need for such modesty." he smirked.

Clare shrugged, causing his smirk to grow bigger.

"Last night was amazing," he leaned down to give her a short, but deep kiss. "I've never seen you like that, but I like it."

"Is that right?" Clare asked, feigning innocence.

"Mmm hmm," Eli nodded before placing his hand over her breast beneath her shirt and squeezing lightly. Clare could feel herself growing wet.

"So you would be up for another round? Like right now?" she asked, trying to mask the hopefulness in her voice.

"Definetly," he murmurred into her ear. Suddenly, he drew back with wide eyes and muttered, "Shit!"

"What's wrong?" Clare asked; panic began to set in.

"It's nothing, really. I just remembered I promised to do something for Cece." he explained while jumping off the bed and pulling on a pair of boxers. "I'll be right back, it won't take long at all." he promised her, walking back over to the bed and givving her heated kiss. "Don't get started without me." He warned, jokingly.

Clare cocked her eyebrow, "What do you need to do, anyway?"

"Cece recently adopted a pit bull and asked me to feed it. We've been keeping him in the backyard until we can get groomed and housebroken." he explained, failing to notice how Clare's face had suddenly grown pale. "He's a nice dog, despite what you hear about pit bulls being aggressive and tough. Wouldn't hurt a fly." he chuckled, "Cece named him Ozzy." he added before turning around and walking towards his door.

"Be right back!" he called over his shoulder.

Clare remained in his bed, motionless. She sighed in annoyance and muttered under her breath-

"Shit!"


	11. Revenge is Sweet

**A/N: Wow, someone's been a slacker. Sorry 'bout that. I'm trying to find a way to wrap this up- in this chapter you'll Clare slipping farther and farther away from the mask she created to protect herself. I have a vague idea of how I want it to end- I just need to find a way to get there.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

**Chapter 11- Revenge is Sweet  
**

After unknowingly killing her boyfriend's mother's dog, Clare did her best to keep a little distance between herself and Eli. The task was easier than usual since Eli was too preoccupied with his frantic mother to notice that Clare's excuses to avoid him were nothing but desperate lies. Cece had plastered the neighborhood with flyers baring one of the few photographs she had of Ozzy.

Clare didn't need to tell any of the Goldsworthys that their efforts were useless...they could figure out that fact on their own.

It was the night before her sixteenth birthday and instead of spending it with her friends or Eli, Clare had opted to take a road trip with Bennett in order to finally enact revenge on the man responsible for their mother's death.

She sat in the passenger seat of the Challenger, nervous excitement rushed through her veins. Bennett remained silent, his face etched with the slightest hint of anxiety as he struggled to stay within the speed limit. His odd behavior was not lost on Clare, but when she questioned him he only silenced her and kept his eyes on the road.

It was only an hour drive to Hamilton, but to Clare it felt like an entire day.

Finally, they arrived at their destination- a large, aluminum trailer, circa 1950s located miles away from any other homes. Bennett stepped out wordlessly as Clare trailed behind him up to the door. He fumbled with the keys for a second before finally unlocking the entrance and pushing the flimsy door open. He stepped inside and flicked the light switch.

Clare followed in behind him, gazing at her surroundings. The inside of the trailer was bigger than expected as she examined a small kitchenette and fold-away dining table.

"Is this where he lives?" she asked.

"No," he said shaking his head, "this is where he dies." Clare nodded in understanding- this was the kill spot he had spent all week setting up.

"Where is he right now?"

Bennett looked down at her, smirking. "About ten feet to your right." Clare looked over a dividing wall near the end of the trailer- sectioning off the bedroom from the rest of the living area. Without waiting for her request, Bennett gave her a small nod and nudged her towards the faux wall.

Clare slowly made her way over, cautiously sliding the wall over to reveal the final section of the trailer- coated with plastic sheeting. On the middle of the plastic wrapped bed lay a man- his limbs were secured with a generous amount of duct tape and his eyes were closed in a drug-induced slumber.

She noticed that Bennett's mood seemed to brighten. It soon became obvious why he was so tense during the ride up. He was nervous that the man would wake up too early and draw attention to the site by screaming or even worse- escaping completely.

"This," Bennett started, pausing for dramatic effect "is Escobar Hernandez. He was one of the three guys who was there on that night."

"What happened to the other two?" Clare asked.

"One of them is dead, one's doing life in prison with no chance of parole for another crime. Doesn't matter anyway, Escobar here is the one we want- he's the one who ordered the dogs to attack. The other two were just hired goons." he shrugged.

"So, shall we wake him?"

"Not yet. Let's suit up first and try to work out a game plan. I have an idea, something a little different than usual."

Clare nodded and began pulling on her surgical smock over the her clothes- a white v-neck and a pair of old gym shorts. She had a nicer outfit packed away to change into after they were done.

"You ready for this?" Bennett asked as he secured his surgical smock. Clare said nothing, but instead merely shot him a look that confirmed her desire to start in on what they came for. Bennett smirked and extracted a smelling salt from his pocket. He held the capsule under Escobar's nose and and snapped it in two.

Almost immediately, the doomed man's eyelids shot open- blinking tiredly before glazing over in fear.

Clare stared down at Escobar, admiring how his panicked eyes darted back and forth, examing the room where he would die.

"May I?" Clare asked, motioning to the piece of duct tape that sealed his mouth shut.

"Of course. " Bennett nodded, taking a step back to admire the sight before him. This is what he always wanted for them- reunited and exacting revenge. Clare yanked the duct tape off Escobar's mouth, earning a scream of pain and a slew of curse words.

"Where the fuck am I? Who the fuck are you?" he yelled out in between panicked breaths.

"You probably don't remember us, but we've met before." Clare whispered.

"Why am I strapped to a table?"

"Shut up!" Bennett delivered a blow to his left cheek, silencing him.

"Try to think back now; 13 years ago, Vancouver, a warehouse, a couple dogs, a woman with two young children. Sound familiar?" Clare asked.

"I don't know what you're talking about! Now untie me or-"

"Or what?" Clare asked with menace, lowering her face to his. Escobar looked her straight in the eyes, biting his lip. He said nothing.

"Thirteen years ago, you took away our mother." Bennett said with no emotion in his voice.

"I never killed anyone, you got the wrong guy."

"True, you didn't exactly put a gun to her head or a knife in her heart...but you did you set a pack of dogs on her." Bennett pointed out.

"We'd kill the dogs, but they're probably dead by now." Clare interjected. Bennett snapped his head towards her and let out a dark chuckle. "I guess you'll just have to do."

Escobar's eyes widened as his lip quivered with vulnerability. "Please don't kill me." he whispered. "I'll do anything, please. Money, drugs- I can get it for you. Just please don't kill me."

"Oh we're not going to kill you." Bennett whispered calmly.

"You aren't?"

"We aren't?" Clare questioned in confusion.

"Not yet anyway." he shrugged, "you see me and Maya here, we like to play with our friends before we...set them free, as one might say." He turned to Clare giving her a knowing grin, which she returned.

He handed her a pair of pliers and motioned to Escobar's mouth.

"Start pulling out his teeth, all of them. I'll keep his mouth pried open for you." Clare nodded, although somewhat confused. This was something they had never done, extrating the teeth of their victims. Escobar let out a muffled squel as Clare yanked out one of his front teeth with surpringsly little difficulty. She continued on for a few more minutes until Bennett stopped her.

"Let's trade places." he insisted. Clare could see by the look in his eyes that he was not asking to switch because her method was off, but rather he wanted a chance to "play dentist".

"Go for it." Clare said, holding out the pliers. Bennett eagerly took over her spot while Clare placed one hand on Escobar's forehead and the other on his jaw, keeping his mouth stretched open. Unable to contain her curiosity, Clare asked her brother-

"Why are we doing this again?"

"Cause it's fun." Bennett shrugged, as if it were obvious.

"Yes, but why are we really doing _this_. We've never done this to any of our previous playmates."

"We need to ensure that his body won't be identifiable by dental records."

"What about the rest of his body?"

"Don't worry about that for now; you'll find out soon enough."

Clare resisted the urge to ask more questions, instead nodding silently as she Bennett extract the remainder of Escobar's teeth with a quick roughness. His muffled screams had diminished into defeated whimpers; tears streamed down his sun-weathered face.

They started off slowly, dismantling his body piece by piece. Fingers and toes, followed by hands, feet, and so on. Escobar was still alive and alert thanks to Bennett's expertise in sealing off his open cuts. He continually shot him up with drugs to ensure that he would stay awake through the pain, yet not pass out from it.

His legs were severed at both knees, his arms stopped just above the elbows- blood seeping threw the ace bandages that were used as tourniquets. Bennett placed his surgical saw on the table, motioning for Clare to do the same.

"So, do you remember yet?" Bennett asked softly. Escobar let out a tortured whimper and shook his head slowly. "Laura Anderson, she used to work for you. She was our mother, and you killed her. You killed her right in front of us."

Escobar whispered something, but neither could make it out.

"What was that?" Clare pressed.

"I had to kill her, she was working as a rat for the cops. I had to kill her or else the ones in charge would've killed me."

"That's understandable Escobar," Bennett said in a voice that almost expressed sincere understanding before yelling, "but did you have to do it front of us? Did you have to ensure that her children would be forever traumatized by a scene of brutal carnage! Did you have to leave us there for three days with no food or water until the cops finally showed up!" he shouted.

"I-I-" Escobar stuttered.

"No!" Bennett delivered a hard punch to his cheek, "you're done talking for now. In fact," he picked up a scapel from the side table, "you're done talking forever." He wrenched open Escobar's mouth and clenched his tounge between his fingers, severing it with the scapel.

Clare watched on in amusement as Escobar began sputtering with a mouthful of blood. Bennett turned towards her and smiled warmly.

"Seeing as how you're the birthday girl, it's only fair that you do the honors." He picked up a meat cleaver from the side table and offered it to her.

"Are you sure?" she questioned, "I mean- you did all the work. The tracking, the kill room, the ambush-"

"I'm sure," he stressed, "consider it my gift to you." Clare smiled and accepted the cleaver, moving to stand directly over their victim.

She looked down at the man who was indirectly responsible for the way her life was. Because of his crimes, she was forced to live a life that was essentially a lie. She was forced to dress up everyday in a costume that portrayed innocence and naivety, when in fact on the inside she was overwhelmed with violent thoughts and contempt for those she was forced to walk beside. The life of Clare Diana Edwards was not her own- it did not belong to her, it was merely forced upon her. Was she better off because of it? That was not something that could be answered. There was no "what if" machine that could show the way her life was supposed to be- if her mother had never died, if she had never moved to Toronto or attended the drama-filled shithole that was otherwise known as Degrassi Community School.

There was only the truth; a truth that could be revealed to no one.

Clare leaned down to look Escobar directly in the eye. From the reflection in his widened pupils, she could see her own face- staring down with no emotion. She bit her lip in contemplation about what to say. She couldn't just kill him and be done with it- she needed to vent. She needed to tell him exactly how his actions fucked up her life, she needed to stretch the moment as long as possible, as if to savor it forever. There was only one thing she could think of to say to him; it was simple and short- but it summed up her feelings perfectly.

"I'm not the person I'm supposed to be, because of you."

Without pausing to explain more, Clare raised the cleaver above her head and brought it down hard and fast into Escobar's stomach. She didn't even wait to listen to his strangled cries of pain as she repeated the motion, this time landing on thigh.

She continued her random movements to the cleaver upon the killer's body until she felt a strong hand enclose on her shoulder.

"I think he died about ten whacks back." Bennett murmured.

"I know,"she relented. "I just wanted to have a little fun."

"I can see that," he nodded, handing her a gym bag. "Go get changed in the next room and meet me outside when your done."

Clare relented, moving into the next room of the trailer to change out of her surgical smock and "kill clothes" and into a normal outfit. She walked out into the humid summer air, breathing it in deeply. The sun was just beginning to rise. After taking a moment to admire the scenery around her, Clare suddenly became aware that Bennett had never told her what was to be done with Escobar's body. As if on cue, Bennett emerged from the trailer, dressed in clean clothes and carrying only a gym bag.

"Now what?" Clare asked him. Bennett smiled darkly as he stalked over to his car and popped open the truck. He pulled out two canisters of gasoline.

"Time for a bonfire." he said simply, passing over a canister to his sister. "No teeth, no traceable clues, no worries." he added. The two siblings commenced in dousing the outside of the trailer in gasoline until both canisters were empty.

Bennett pulled out a book of matches, carelessly struck one, lit the rest of the book aflame, and tossed it towards the trailer.

It was engulfed in flames within seconds. They stood together, side by side, soaking in the moment.

"It's over now, Maya," Bennett said softly as the watched the metal begin to blacken in the heat, " it's all over."

* * *

Bennett dropped Clare off in front of her house, wishing her a happy birthday before driving off. It was mid-morning, the day's heat was just beginning to set in. Clare yawned as she made her way to the front door, opening it to reveal a surprising sight.

Helen Edwards stood in the entrance hall, arms crossed in front of chest with a disapproving glare etched on her face. Clare's eyes widened in surprise, it had been weeks since she last saw her mother in person. If she wasn't at work, she was out doing out doing other things, trying to avoid the house that once held her perfect family. They primarily communicated through text messages and sticky notes in the kitchen.

"Where were you?" Helen glowered.

Clare carelessly slammed the door behind her, smirking to herself as Helen shuddered at the loud bang.

"Nowhere." Clare shrugged. She made her way to the stairs but was intercepted by Helen's firm grip on her arm.

"Where. Were. You?" she repeated herself firmly.

"What. Do. You. Care?" Clare fired back, mocking her tone.

"I was worried sick; no note, no acknowledgement- I had no idea where you were. No one did." Helen huffed.

"No one?"

"I called your friends, I called their parents, I even called that heathen boyfriend of yours!"

"Shit, you told Eli I was missing?"

"Don't use that language in my house, young lady." Clare shook her head with boredom. "I must've called your phone a hundred times."

"Well, I had it turned off." Clare said, holding up her turned-off phone as evidence.

"Just stay out of my life, Helen." Clare extracted her arm from the older woman's grip and made her way up the stairs.

"What do you think you're doing?" Helen yelled.

"Going to sleep, duh. I've been up all night."

"Doing what?" Helen demanded. Clare stopped mid-way up the stairs and turned to face her foster mother.

"Oh you know, the usual. Lots of drugs, an orgy or two-"

"Stop that, it's not funny!"

"Yes it is." Clare smirked.

"I don't even know who you are anymore." she muttered in disappointment. Clare laughed bitterly.

"What'd you expect? You're never around. When was the last time we spent more than twenty minutes in each others company? Dad's funeral?" Clare pointed out grimly. Her eyes brightened with mischief as a thought entered her head- "Where do _you_ sneak off to, Helen? Private prayer sessions with men from church?" she said snidely. The older woman's lip began to quiver.

"Who are you and what did you do to my daughter!" Helen sobbed.

Her words caused something within Clare to snap.

"Save it, Helen." she scoffed. "What's the sense in even pretending to care about me anymore? Randall's dead, Darcy most likely is too," no sense in telling her she really was, "you don't need to continue this charade anymore."

Helen's eyes narrowed, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I know the truth," Clare said softly while still maintaining a slight edge in her voice, "Randall told me everything. I'm adopted. I'm just a replacement for a failed pregnancy, a stand-in child, a shot at redemption." she paused, contemplating another phrase- "a piece of fucking furniture."

"Clare-"

"I also know that's not my real name." she interrupted. Helen looked at her with a stunned expression.

"I don't know what to say." she admitted, beginning to feel uneasy around her adopted daughter.

"You don't have to say anything," Clare shrugged. "Just stay out of my way." she said with a calm firmness before turning around and continuing up the stairs to her room. Helen was too stunned to say anything.

Once she made it to her room, Clare shut the door behind her and leaned against it, sighing deeply.

"Happy Birthday to me." she muttered darkly before stalking over to her dresser and pulling a tin box out of her underwear drawer. She popped of the lid and pulled out a joint and a book of matches. She walked over to her open window, lit the joint and exhaled smoke into the humid summer air while down on her neighborhood.

Reaching into her pocket, she pulled her phone and turned it back on. It immediately lit up with a plethora of missed calls, texts, and voice mails. While taking occasional hits from her joint- she scrolled through her messages- 5 missed calls from Adam, 9 from Alli and a whopping 39 from Eli. She put her phone on silent, put out the joint and collapsed onto her bed.

She could feel her mask slipping, but she didn't care.


	12. Body to body language

**A/N: Got some Eclare smut for y'all- there seems to be a distinct lack of it these days.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Chapter 12: Body-to-body language**

Clare woke up to the sound of the doorbell ringing repeatedly coupled with the occasional hard pound at the door. She rolled over to look out the window to see that daylight was fading, meaning she had spent the entire day asleep. Letting out an annoyed growl, she tore herself from the sheets and stormed downstairs, ready to to scream her lungs out at whatever solicitor was ringing her bell.

However her premeditated insults turned into a surprised silence and a quirked eyebrow as she opened the door to find Eli standing with a concerned look on his face.

"Hey." his voice was soft but his face was etched with suspicion.

"Hey." Clare returned, stepping aside to let him and close the door.

"Happy birthday, by the way."

"Thanks." Clare said, awkwardly.

"How are you feeling?"

"Good."

"Really?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

"Well you kind of disappeared, reappeared, and didn't bother to tell anyone you were back." he said sharply.

"Sorry about that." she mumbled.

"You had a lot of people really worried, Clare." he paused, "me espicially."

"I know." she nodded.

"Where were you anyway?"

Clare bit the inside of her cheek in annoyance. She was not in the mood to have this conversation, let alone be in the company of other people. Getting revenge on Escobar had left her feeling restless and for some reason, angry. Her prolonged nap gave her an unrelenting surge of energy, energy that needed to be put into something physical- not a serious conversation.

"Does it matter? I'm back. I'm safe, unharmed." he shot her solemn glare.

"You're hiding something from me." he accused, keeping his voice at a calm volume.

"No I'm not."

"Than why don't you tell me where you were?" he pressed on.

"Because I didn't go anywhere," she lied, thinking up a story on the spot, "I didn't even leave the city, just my house."

"Why?" he asked with concern.

Clare shrugged, "I felt like it."

Eli sighed in exasperation, "Clare-"

"Just drop it, Eli." she pleaded. "I was in a really bad mood, I couldn't stand being in this house, so I left."

"Why didn't you come to me? You can come to me for anything, big or small, you know that." his eyes started to look watery. Clare cursed to herself mentally.

"I just...didn't feel like being around people." Eli's face dropped. "Don't take it personally, it was just the state of mind I was in."

Eli examined her face, looking for any signs of lying.

"Well then why didn't you let me know you got back home safe?" Clare rolled her eyes.

"Are we seriously still talking about this? I was in a bad mood, I stormed off, I came back home. End of story."

"I had to hear from Adam, who heard from Alli, who heard from your mom- that you were back." Eli fumed.

"I'm sorry she didn't tell you directly."

"YOU should've told me directly." Eli barked, causing Clare to jump in surprise.

"Well, I'm sorry I didn't." Clare said, narrowing her eyes. Eli reached up to cup her cheek, running a gentle thumb over her skin. A few moments of silence passed as the couple stood there, staring at each other tensely. Clare looked into his eyes and did the best she could to emulate the face he was giving her- sad, caring, and empathetic. It must've worked since Eli gingerly lowered his face to hers and gave her a soft kiss on the lips.

He drew back slightly and whispered, "You know you can talk to me, about anything."

"I know." she nodded.

"Is it the whole thing with your dad? Has your mom been hounding you recently or something?" he asked "Is it me?" he pressed on, voice cracking slightly.

"No Eli, it's not you." _It's me _she thought to herself.

"We need to talk about this." he said firmly.

"All we've done so far is talk, there's really nothing more to say." Clare said in a slightly suggestive voice while trailing a hand down his chest and towards his belt buckle.

She tried to capture his lips, but was instead pushed back softly.

"Clare, no." Eli said, shaking his head.

"What? Why?" she asked, trying to sound insulted. In truth, she wasn't even in the mood for sex but she was willing to do anything to deter from their current conversation.

"This is what I'm talking about, Clare. I try to get something out of you and you just turn a confrontation into sex."

"Most guys don't mind that."

"Clare, please. Just be honest with me."

"I don't know what you want me to say."

"You're kidding right?" he chuckled without humor, "The deer incident, your disappearance yesterday. Hell, you didn't even bother to call me, let alone Adam or Alli when you got back home." he took a breath, "that's not like you, Clare."

His words were beginning to enter dangerous territory, sending Clare on edge.

"Have- have you been...doing drugs again?" Eli asked with hesitance, as if he didn't really want to know for fear that she was.

"No Eli, I have not been under the influence of any illegal drugs since Shane left town." _Big fat lie._

He peered into her eyes, looking for any hints of dilated pupils or redness. Somewhat satisfied, he nodded.

"Okay, you're not doing that crap again. But what's really going on, Clare?" he pleaded.

"There's nothing you have to worry about."

"You're just saying that to get me to calm down." Eli accused.

"Eli, come on." She reached out to grasp his bicep, "do we have to do this now? It's my birthday and this is not how I wanted to spend time with you."

"Oh, you wanted to spend time with _me_? Funny, I don't remember getting that call." he sneered sarcastically.

"I . Just. Woke. up." she stressed, annoyed.

"From being up all night in a place that you won't divulge, with _people_ that you won't name."

"How do _you_ know I was with someone?" she asked suspiciously.

"Were you with someone?" he arched an eyebrow.

"Would you just back off already? Seriously, either calm the fuck down, or get out. I don't want to deal with this shit right now." A voice in the back of her head was screaming at her to just kick Eli out and to give Fitz a call. Eli's eyes widened a bit at her colorful language; it wasn't the first time she had cursed in front of him, but nonetheless it was something he was not used to.

"Than what do you want to deal with now?" Eli asked with menace, stepping towards her, returning her frustration. Clare matched his step, reached down between them and grab his crotch firmly, raising an eyebrow. Eli let out a breathy gasp as his eyes widened in surprise. He bit his lip, and with a look of reluctance, brushed away her hand from his cock.

"Not now, Clare."

She let out a frustrated groan, "Get the hell out, Eli. You're such a fucking tease. " Eli gave her a defeated look.

"Don't get me wrong, I love making love to you," she cringed at his choice of words, unnoticed by Eli, "but there are things going on with you right now that I need to know about."

"Bullshit, if you really liked having sex with me then you wouldn't let some emotional hang-up get in the way." Eli swallowed hard and said with sincerity-

"Clare, trust me- you're an amazing lay-" Clare rolled her eyes and turned away from him, muttering under her breath-

"Wish I could say the same about you." Eli's face dropped at her comment.

"Wh- What?" he sputtered

"Did I stutter?" Clare asked, grinning evilly to herself. Eli bit his lip and shook his head, anger washing over his face.

"What's that supposed to mean, Edwards?" he growled. "It's not like you have anyone else to compare me to." Eli pointed out, obviously insulted and agitated. Clare, still facing away from him, smirked and considered dropping the bomb about her relations with Fitz.

She decided to save it for a latter date and just have fun her current situation.

"I don't need to compare you to anyone. I know when I'm not finishing, and I know how to make it sound like I have." she turned around, giving him a smug look.

Eli's jaw dropped.

"You- you've been faking it? All this time?"

"What do you think?" Clare scoffed.

They stared at each other deeply, looks speaking louder than words. Eli's face was a mixture of anger, betrayl and defeat. Clare matched his look of anguish with an equally smouldering gaze, drenched in smugness.

A haze of lust and rage seemed to envelope both teens as they suddenly lunged at each other- smashing their lips in unison. Clare smirked mentally as she felt Eli's hands roughly clench around her ass, drawing her body closer.

He had fallen right into her trap, taking her harsh words as some kind of sexual challenge.

Clare pushed him away roughly and grabbed his hand, making a beeline for the stairs. Eli consented willingly, wrapping an arm tightly around her waist while placing love bites on the back of her neck.

Bursting through the door of her room, Clare shoved her boyfriend onto the bed and followed after him, not bothering to close and lock her bedroom door. Helen wasn't home, yet again, and Clare couldn't care less if she came home early and happened to walk in on them.

In fact, a small part of her wanted that to happen.

But she pushed that thought to the back of her mind as she straddled Eli's hips with an pounce, lowering her face to his for another heated kiss. She made fast work of removing both their shirts and her bra, nearly smacking Eli in the face when he reached up to grope her.

"No." she growled, "you're hands stay where I put them."

"Wha-" Eli choked out through his ragged breaths. He was overwhelmed by his girlfriend's aggressiveness, fighting himself from finishing too soon while at the same time trying to please Clare. It wasn't the first time Clare had shown her dominant side in bed, but this time it came off as more...intense. Had he not been a willing participant, what she was doing to him could be mistaken for rape. He remained oblivious to everything else, causing complete surprise when he finally realized Clare had restrained his wrists to the bed posts with rope.

"Clare..." he husked, fighting back a groan as she slid his jeans and boxers over his fully erect member. She removed her shorts and panties as well, grabbing his cock in her hand while getting into position above him.

She looked down at him with unreadable eyes, holding his gaze for a long, silent, moment before easing down slowly onto his cock. Eli moaned at the feeling of her walls surrounding him, he longed to grab her hips and guide her, to caress her flesh she as rocked into him.

But instead, Clare started bouncing up and down on him in an almost painful manner.

"Ah!" he barked, "Fuck Clare!"

"Don't you dare cum!" she said darkly. She began to feel her own pleasure kick in as Eli's tip hit her most sensitive spot within her, she pressed down on her clit to speed up the process.

"Oooh!"she moaned. Eli watched his girlfriend in fascination, ignoring the pain and bliss that her movements infected his body with, he instead focused on her facial feature. Her plump lips were parted and glistening as she panted above him, her breasts bounced in sync with thrusts- taunting Eli to try and undo the restraints so that he could touch her...everywhere.

Her eyes remained closed as she sighed in pleasure from her own movements.

"Look at me." Eli whispered, but his words must've been too soft as Clare's eyelids remained clenched shut.

"Clare, look at me!" he repeated with more austerity. Her eyes snapped open on cue, and he was met with a pair of very beautiful, but very pissed-off bright blue eyes.

Without so much as a warning, Clare pulled herself up and off of his cock- causing Eli groaned at the loss of warmth. Before he could protest, she had already pivoted around so that her back faced him. She lowered herself back onto his member, gasping at the depth of penetration.

She proceeded to thrust her hips over his, grabbing onto his calves for support. Eli glared at her back as he did his best to control himself from finishing off too soon. Clare's behavior had been odd, to say the least, in the previous weeks- but this was another ball-game entirely. Usually their love-making was passionate, full of love and warmth. Whatever was happening right now was without a doubt passionate- but in a very very different way. It was almost like Clare was trying to hurt him on purpose.

It wasn't lovemaking, not in the least.

It came off more as hate-fucking.

He shook the thought from his head before it could even take the chance to sink in. Clare wasn't the type of girl to use sex as weapon, not on purpose anyway.

Eli bit down on his lips hard, breaking the skin easily. He was awash with conflicting emotions- while he was enjoying the feeling of being inside her, he couldn't help but be annoyed by the change in position. They had never tried it this way- he always preferred to make love to his girlfriend face-to-face.

"Oh, _fuck_ Eli!" she gasped as her movements quickened. She was approaching the edge.

He couldn't take it anymore- he had to touch her skin, he had to look her in the eyes. Eli began shaking his wrists in an effort to free himself from the too-tight binds that Clare had inflicted upon him. His struggle to break free caused him to inadvertently thrust his hips up, penetrating Clare even deeper.

"...So...close.." she husked.

"Come on Clare, let go." he gasped in a pleading manner, "cum for me."

"Shit!" Clare shrieked as his cock hit the sensitive spot deep within her. Her legs were beginning to cramp up from being in such an unfamiliar position. She lowered her hand and began rubbing her clit with unrestrained vigor. The boiling in her stomach reached a platue as her orgasm hit her with the force of an eighteen-wheeler going ninety on the freeway. She let out a scream as Eli continued to struggle against the ropes that restained him.

Finally, as Clare's moans began to soften in volume- he shook his right hand loose form the rope, using it to free his other hand. He sat up and wrapped his arms around Clare as she struggled to catch her breath, thrusting his hips up one final time.

"Clare! Oh, fuck!" he barked as he spilled himself within her. He groaned deeply and rested his cheek against the smooth skin of back, pausing to catch his breath. He was exhausted, sex had never taken so much out of him. He couldn't even recall how he went from pissed-off at Clare to wanting nothing more than fall asleep with her in his arms.

Without warning, Clare shrugged off his arms from around her waist and leaned forward onto her knees, planting her hands on the bed- breaking their bond. She stayed in that position, as she allowed her heart rate to settle back to normal. A sheen of sweat coated her entire body as well as the feeling that she was made out of lead.

"Clare," Eli murmured as he wiped a hand over his eyes which had begun to tear up at the end of their romp- whether it was from pain or passion remained a mystery to him. He just didn't want Clare to notice.

Meanwhile, the girl before him couldn't register anything else but how hard she was breathing and how tired her body felt. She didn't even remember that Eli was right behind her until he softly slapped her bare ass to get her attention. She craned her head back to see Eli, a lazy smile covering his face as he looked at her with adoration.

"Good, you're still alive." he joked. Clare said nothing, only rolled over onto her back to stare at the ceiling.

"Clare?" he called again, showing concern over her silence. Eli hoisted himself up and crawled over to her, holding his body over hers. "Are you okay? I didn't hurt you did I?"

She had to hold back from laughing in his face- she had already let her mask slip enough in one night. Truthfully, sex with Eli had never been more satisfying; but he just couldn't compare to Fitz.

"I'm great." she managed to whisper. _Well, I'd be better if you would just leave_, she thought to herself. Eli's look of worry melted into one of love.

"That was incredible." he gushed while running a hand up her side. He lowered his face to her ear and whispered softly about how sexy she was and how much he loved her. Clare tuned it out, bringing down his face to hers for a kiss- if only to shut him up for two seconds.

"You weren't faking it again...were you?" he asked with uncertainty as they separated.

"I've never faked it with you before." she replied softly. _Lies_.

Eli's eyebrows nearly disappeared into his hair before he smirked at her.

"Such a minx, such a fuckin' sexy minx." he whispered into hair as he lowered his body beside hers.

Clare allowed him to wrap his arms around her as they settled into her mattress. She closed her eyes, and was about to drift off into sleep until she felt Eli suddenly jump off the bed.

"I almost forgot," he muttered as he picked his pants up off the floor and rummaged through the pockets.

"What is it?"

"A gift," he exclaimed, pulling out a small black box and handing it to her. "For you."

She had almost forgotten that it was birthday. Reaching out to accept the box from Eli, she prayed to the god she didn't really believe in that this was not a marriage proposal. Opening the box, she let out a well-rehearsed gasp of surprise and delight at the sight of a simple, but beautiful, white-gold ring. She looked up at Eli's eager face.

"It's beautiful."

"You're beautiful." he whispered, placing a light kiss on her forehead. "It's something of a promise ring, actually. I figured you could use it to replace the purity ring seeing as how it doesn't really apply anymore." he smirked.

_It never had any meaning, I was never pure_, she thought silently.

"I love it, thank you."

"I had it engraved, check it out." he nodded. Clare inspected the inside of the ring- _You have me forever- Eli. _She bit the inside of her cheek in annoyance, a move that was that was oblivious to Eli.

"This is really sweet, Eli." she said with false sincerity, "I love you." she added, after seeing the nervous expression on his face.

"I love you too. And I'm glad you like it, really glad in fact." he grabbed her hand started playing with her purity ring, "May I?"

Clare nodded and watched as he slipped off the purity ring and replaced it with the one he bought for her. Had Clare Edwards been a normal teenage girl, with normal teenage girl feelings- this moment would've been one she would've played over and over again in her head, burned into her memory for eternity- her first real love.

But Clare was by no means a normal teenage girl, not even a normal human being for that matter. All she could really think about at the moment was how physically tired she was and how emotionally exhausted she was of playing along with her charade of a life. Eli had managed to burrow into her life and under her skin so much that finding a way to get rid of him was proving to be difficult. Confessing her infidelity would've resulted in a big mess- and risk revealing her true self. She had hoped that her harsh words from before would've driven him away, but he instead took them as a challenge.

"I'm tired." Clare said, being honest for once. _Take this as your cue to exit._

_"_Than let's get some sleep." Eli smiled, wrapping his arms around Clare once more and pressing up against her. She mentally rolled her eyes.

Lying in bed as she drifted off to sleep in his arms, Clare couldn't decide who she was more disgusted with- Eli or herself.


	13. Darkness Revealed

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

**Chapter 13: Darkness Revealed  
**

Clare awoke to the sound of Eli's annoying ringtone blasting a popular Dead Hand song. She wasn't sure which one- they all sounded the same to her- like shit. Eli remained asleep, pressed up against her back and lightly exhaling into her ear. She lightly pushed her shoulders back into his chest to both repel and awake him before sliding her body to the other side of the bed. He groggily opened his eyes, shooting the back of Clare's head a confused look before picking up his phone.

As he mumbled into the speaker, Clare clenched her eyes shut in effort to return to sleep, if not at least look like it. She lay there hoping that it was Cece or Bullfrog on the line telling him to come home as she was in desperate need for some "alone time". Maybe he would think she was still asleep and just slip out without bugging her.

"Clare, wake up." she rolled her eyes as Eli gently shook her shoulder before flipping over onto her other side.

"What?"

"That was Adam; apparently there's a big party happening on the beach tonight. Sort of an end-of-summer shindig."

"So?"

"Sooo, we need to get dressed and get over there."

"I thought you weren't really the party type." she pointed out with disinterest. Eli narrowed his eyes slightly.

"I'm not, even more so considering the last party I went to was sort of a disaster," he mumbled, referring to the night of Fiona's party where Clare had taken ecstasy, fought with Eli and then lost her virginity to a boy she ended up killing hours later. Not that he knew all of the dirty details. "But, Adam was dragged along by Drew before ditching him to hook up with some girl, thus leaving him all alone.

"Well then why doesn't he just give Fiona a call?" Clare shot her a confused glance.

"Clare, Fiona and Adam broke up last week." he said as if it were common knowledge.

"Oh." The fact that she was unaware of the break-up didn't bother her at all. She had been too entrapped in her "project" with Brian to keep up with Degrassi gossip. Regardless of what her heart wanted, she knew that she had to adjust her attitude, swallow her pride, and go to the damn party.

"Okay then, let me just take a shower." she chirped in her most convincingly eager tone.

"Care for some company?" he pressed while trailing a hand up her naked side as she flung back the covers. A low growl of annoyance sounded off in the back of her mind, but instead she merely shot Eli a warm smile and made her way over to the bathroom with Eli hot on her trail.

* * *

Fitz snapped open his second beer and leaned back against his truck as he surveyed the other party attendants. Owen and Bianca flanked him on either side, chugging their own drinks and scoping out the party, making snide comments every now and then.

"Ugh, who invited Middleton? The last thing we need is that bitch leaking booze out of her tits." Bianca chuckled, referring to Jenna's previous motherly state.

"I don't know B, that sounds kind of awesome." Owen replied, gazing at the blonde teen with hungry eyes, "she and Guthrie broke up right?" he asked, turning to Fitz.

Fitz shrugged his shoulders with disinterest.

"Would it really stop you if they did?"

"Good point." Owen nodded before making his way over to Jenna.

Fitz sighed and took a long swig of his beer. He didn't want to come to the party at all; it was not his type of shindig. Sure there was beer; but other than that it was a shit party- a high school party. Fitz was the only person there who wasn't (currently) a student at Degrassi- and everyone knew it. He had gotten several dirty looks since he arrived, making it known that his presence was unwanted.

He had consented to the pleas of Owen and Bianca to join them, since he hadn't seen much of them over the summer. But he wasn't really there to please his best friends, he was there in the hopes that Clare Edwards would make an appearance. It had been over a week since he last saw her.

An idea sparked off in his mind, he pulled out his cellphone and began punching out a text message to Clare. From the corner of his eye, he could see Bianca watching him with interest. Instead of acknowledging her curious look, he merely pocketed his phone and continued drinking his beer, waiting for a response from Clare.

* * *

Just as Clare was lacing up her sneakers, she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket with a new text message. She pulled out her phone and her eyes immediately lit up when she saw who it was from. Eli, who was watching her from across the room from the bed noticed her facial expression.

"What's wrong?"

Clare nearly jumped out of her own skin in panic. Obviously, she couldn't tell Eli who had just texted her.

"I just got a text from my mom; she's on her way home now and plans on yelling at me for disappearing without her permission." she lied.

Eli nodded his head solemnly. Although he hated the idea of _anyone_ yelling at Clare, he knew that Mrs. Edwards had every right to do so. Part of him knew that Clare deserved to be punished for her actions.

"I guess if she sees me here it won't help anything." he mumbled.

"You're probably right." Clare said with her best fake-sad expression. Eli got up from the bed, walked over and pulled her into his arms.

"If she does let you out tonight, let me know." he whispered into her hair.

"I'll send you a text and come straight to the beach." Clare gave him a soft peck on the lips and softly pushed him towards the door. Once she heard his descending footsteps on the stairs and the closing of the front door, Clare re-read the text message from Fitz.

_Haven't seen you in a while. Want to change that? I'm at this lame beach party looking for an escape._

She smirked, and replied eagerly.

* * *

Eli grimaced as he watched his best friend down another shot of whiskey. For someone his size, Adam had a surprisingly high tolerance for alcohol; most likely as a result from his time with Fiona. He had been at the party for two hours now and still no word from his girlfriend.

After checking his phone for the millionth time he huffed loudly, glaring at the people mingling around him.

"Dude, you are being such a bummer right now!" Adam slurred.

"Clare hasn't called yet, I'm worried about what her mom will do to her."

"Uh, probably ground her ass for her little disappearance act. It's not like she can do anything worse." Adam said sarcastically.

Eli shot him an annoyed look before admitting- "I'm just getting sick and tired of worrying about her Adam."

Adam rolled her eyes and muttered "Oh god" underneath his breath.

"These past few months- it's like she's transformed or something. I don't even now how to act around her anymore. One minute she bites by head off, the next she's ripping off my pants."

"Did not need to know that..." Adam quipped before taking another swig of whiskey.

"And not to mention the temper, it's like she's in a constant state of PMS. I have to practically force her to spend time with me." he paused, "I just want things to be like they were when we first started going out."

"You mean before you started having sex with her?" Adam smirked.

Eli shot him a dirty look and shook his head.

"Look man, it's not really any of my business- but if you're pissed off with the way she's acting, why are you still with her? Clare's one of my best friends, but the fact of the matter is that her behavior has been very un-Clare like ever since her Dad died. You know what it's like to lose someone, it sucks. It changes you." Despite his high blood-alcohol level, Adam's words struck a chord.

"What are you getting at, Adam?"

"I think that dating Clare is probably not the best thing for you right now."

Eli bit his lip and mulled over the thought for a few moments.

"You know what, Adam. You're right." Eli gave him a hard look, "It is _none_ of your business."

Adam swallowed hard under the older boy's uneasy gaze. "Forget it then, I'm going for a walk." he hoisted himself off the sand, leaving the whiskey bottle unattended before stumbling away.

Eli continued his sulking while watching Adam hobble off. He picked up the whiskey bottle and took a healthy sip, allowing the burning in his throat to distract him from his anxious thoughts.

* * *

Ignoring the slurred calls from his equally drunk brother, Adam shuffled away from the party, not caring about the large amounts of sand accumulating in his sneakers. He wasn't sure what he was doing; all he knew was that he _needed_ to get away from Eli.

Despite his drunken state, he could easily tell the relationship between his two best friends was crumbling and the blame couldn't be placed on just one person. He had seen it coming for a while, but never said anything. In the history of high school romances, most of them ended before graduation; Clare and Eli were no exception from this rule. Eli was unknowingly smothering at times, and Clare seemed to be undergoing a major personality change as a result of repressed grief.

Adam mentally cursed himself for being so forward with Eli, but sometimes he needed to step in and give a reality check. He took a deep breath of the ocean air, willing the growing sense of nausea in his stomach to settle. A pair of muffled voices drew his attention away from the scenery.

From underneath the boardwalk, a light glow casted itself against the sand- the blare of a small campfire. Adam crinkled his nose in curiosity- unsure of the voices belonged to other Degrassi students sneaking off for a moment alone or to a couple of hobos who had taken up camp on the beach.

"Quit hogging the bottle, I'm parched." a male voice demanded in a teasing manner. The voice sounded eerily familiar to Adam.

"I'm surprised you even know what the word 'parched' means." a female voice shot back. Adam's brow furrowed, he was unsure of who the male voice belonged to- but the girl's voice was very recognizable to him.

"No way." Adam whispered to himself, trying to tame his imagination.

"Just hand over the booze, Edwards." Adam's stomach dropped. The girl giggled and his suspicions were confirmed. There was no denying that Clare was one of the people under the dock- but what the hell was she doing there?

The voices grew softer, making it difficult for Adam to hear what they were saying. He softly walked forward, making sure to stay in the shadows cast by the dock against the moonlight. As he got closer, all he could hear was the crackling of the fire paired with smacking lips and soft moans.

Although he was by no means a player, Adam knew what making out sounded like. Bile began to rise in his throat, and it had nothing to do with the alcohol. His curiosity getting the better of him, he walked forward- peeking his head out from behind a large pole that supported the dock above him.

His eyes nearly popped out of his head at the sight. Adam spun back behind the pole and dropped to his knees, the contents of his stomach spilling out onto the sand.

"What was that?" the male voice spoke. Adam heard the footsteps coming closer, he couldn't move from his spot out of fear and shock.

"Oh shit." Adam looked up to see Fitz staring at him with wide eyes and his mouth agape.

"Hey, what's-" Clare went silent at the sight of Adam on the ground. "Adam."

"Clare," Adam looked at her, his eyes full of disappointment and disbelief, "what the fuck are doing?"

She allowed his words to mull over in her head, knowing that trying to lie or giving him a bullshit answer wouldn't work. Adam knew exactly what he had seen and she had no way to disprove it. It was over. She had been discovered, revealed, caught. And yet, despite her years of imagining how her darkness would ultimately reveal itself to the people around her, despite the carefully calculated scenarios and thoughts- Clare was mystified by the fact that she couldn't feel the one emotion she was certain would overtake her the moment her true self was revealed to the world- panic. She didn't feel panicked or anxious or upset.

All she felt was relief.

She looked at Adam as the moments of silence passed between them in a tense fog. She answered his question-

"I'm just being myself."

* * *

A/N: I apologize for the lack of updates over the past few months. My only excuse for it is life. Let be known, I have every intention of finishing this story. I know what I want to happen, and I know how I will most likely end it. It's all just a matter of getting my ass in gear to write. Reviews usually help with that. Hint hint.


	14. Shattered Illusion

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

** Chapter 14: Shattered Illusion**

Adam Torres couldn't move.

He couldn't blink.

He couldn't even open his lips to react to Clare's words.

Clare took Adam's catatonic infliction as a sign to keep talking. To explain herself- to finally come clean.

"People at Degrassi," she started, "in fact most people I come into contact with, have this...image of me. They assume that because I wear a cross and a purity ring while being nice to most everyone- that I'm a good person." she sighed. "But I'm not a good person, Adam, I've never been one."

Adam peered at her with question. "What do you mean?" he rasped.

"It's all been a lie, everything," she sighed, "I lied to everyone about everything."

"Clare, you're not making any sense." Adam said, shaking his head as his mouth finally started to work again. He turned to Fitz who had been standing silently next to Clare. "What did you give her?" Adam asked accusingly.

"I'm not on any drug, Adam." she explained.

"Come on," Adam reached out to grab her hand, "let's get back to the party, Eli's been looking for you."

"Eli's the last person I want to see right now." she heaved while pulling her hand back.

"Well he's worried about you, so let's go." he urged her.

"No."

"Clare-"

"No, Adam." she said sternly. "I'm not going to join in on the party, I'm not gonna talk to Eli, I'm not gonna keep up this charade anymore!"

"What charade?" Adam asked, his annoyance shining through his usually calm demeanor.

To hell with protecting herself, to hell with honoring Randall's lies.

It was time to admit her darkness, to end the monotony of her life as Clare Edwards and begin her journey as Maya Anderson.

She had waited long enough.

"I already told you, I lied about everything." she said calmly,

"What was a lie?"

"My name, my faith, my personality, and my family."

"What do you mean?" Adam asked, quirking his eyebrow.

"Put together the fucking pieces!" she groaned "I'm fake, I'm a fraud!"

"Don't talk that way about yourself!" Adam fired back, trying to calm her down.

"No!" Clare yelled in frustration. "You aren't listening to me! You don't know me! You only know the lie, the cover-up, the exterior ego."

"What the hell are you even saying?" Adam shot back. He could smell the distinct aroma of liquor on her breath- thus explaining her outburst. His own drunkenness seemed to dissipate on the spot. "Come on, you've had too much to drink. We'll get you some water and find Eli."

Clare remained where she stood. Fitz peered at her, resting a calming hand on her shoulder.

"Get your hands off of her, neanderthal!" Adam barked.

"Shut the fuck up Adam." Clare snapped. Adam's mouth dropped in astonishment at her colorful words. "Now listen to me," she started. "I'll start at the beginning- when I was three years old, I watched my mother get killed and was adopted by the Edwards..."

Adam's face twisted between astonished and horrified as Clare recounted the tale of how her exterior self came to be.

* * *

As Eli choked down the last of his warm beer, he realized that Adam had been gone for some time. _Great_, he thought to himself,_ I've been ditched by my girlfriend and best friend during the past two hours._

He had given up on trying to contact Clare since his cellphone battery had died and the beach was devoid of any electrical outlets to re-charge. The boy in black sighed heavily to himself, ignoring the happy, drunk teenagers that moved around him. He hoisted himself up off the sand and began his search for Adam.

"Eli! Hey, Eli!" a voice called out. Eli looked up to see Drew stumbling towards him.

"Drew, have you seen Adam?"

"No, I was about to ask you the same thing," he hiccuped, "I saw him wander off towards the pier a while back." he motioned towards the darkened docks."Hey, when you find him tell him to tell our mom that I'm spending the night at a...friend's house." he grinned looking back at the girl he had been hooking up with all night.

"Yeah, fine whatever." Eli huffed as he pushed past Drew towards the docks.

As he neared his destination, he make out the flicker of a campfire from beneath the pier. He reload his eyes at the prospect of having to drag Adam away from 'smores or whatever they were possibly cooking. Sober Adam was always hungry, but drunk Adam had the appetite of a black hole.

He moved closer towards the light; the faint shadows of several figures cast themselves against the sand. As he rounded a wooden pillar, he instantly spotted Adam standing with his mouth open in a stuck state of surprise. He was about to call out to his friend, when a familiar voice struck his ears. A voice that he knew all too well, a voice that haunted his sleep- from the most grotesque nightmares to steamiest fantasies.

"Clare?" he called out. Her voice instantly went silent. He sped up his steps and darted behind the thick support beam that shielded her. "What are you-" his words stopped at the sight of the tall boy standing much too close to his girlfriend.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" he snapped at Fitz. The boy in question only peered at him with a mixed look of shock and annoyance. Eli turned his attention back to Clare who's face was devoid of any emotion. "Where were you, I've been worried sick!" he growled.

Clare heaved a sigh of exasperation and shook her head. She had just finished recanting her twisted history to Adam, leaving out a few incriminating side notes; she did not feel like repeating herself.

"Nowhere special." she shrugged before pushing past him and walking back towards the festivities.

Eli stood starstruck for several moments before spinning on his heel and following after her, shouting out the same question. Adam and Fitz stood across from one another and shared a mutual look of worry. They followed after the troubled couple.

"Clare, where are you going?" Eli yelled. He tried to hide his anger but he couldn't help the fact that it was evident in his voice. Clare continued walking ahead of him, not evening acknowledging his question with a glance. Within her own mind she was completely withdrawn from the situation and had no qualms over her current carelessness.

Eli continued calling after her as she sped up her steps and neared the bonfire surrounded by other teens. Ignoring the perplexed glances of the other party goers, she made a beeline for one of the coolers holding an assortment of alcohol. She plunged her hands in the icy water and brought them back up to wet her face as the humidity of the night was uncomfortably high. She continued sifting through the icy water, pushing aside cans of light beer and fruity wine coolers until she found something a bit stronger.

Clare extracted a bottle of vodka, half full, just as Eli reached her.

"What are you doing now?" he asked with exasperation. Clare continued to ignore him as she twisted open the bottle and lifted it to her lips, gulping down the vodka without so much as a grimace. Eli watched her with angry eyes and slacked jaw; the other party occupants became aware of the relationship drama and abandoned their own conversations to watch.

Alli pushed through the crowd of people to see her supposed best friend, who she had only seen a handful of times that summer, polish off the remainder of the vodka. "Clare, what the hell are you doing?" she screeched stomping forward and ripping the bottle from her grasp as she lowered it from her moist lips.

Clare merely shot the darker girl a look of mild annoyance and held her hand up, silencing her and the rest of the onlookers. She took a deep breath and faced Eli. Her hardened look softened for a brief moment as she took him in fully; his green eyes blazing, his dark locks ruffling in the light breeze, the way small droplets of sweat beaded up around his brows- handsome as ever. She shook her head, clearing herself of any arousing thoughts; the anger clouded back in before her eyes.

"I can't keep this up anymore." she said, her voice somewhat raspy from the massive intake of liquor.

"What?" Eli asked. He had heard her words clearly, but was lost on their meaning.

"I can't keep up this charade anymore, Eli. Not for you, not for Helen, not for anyone."

"Come on, Clare. You're just tired and drunk, I should take you home." He reached for her arm, but she pulled back swiftly. Eli shot her a look of annoyance; he was well aware of the small crowd watching their argument as if it were dinner theater but it seemed that Clare was either oblivious or just didn't care. He grit his teeth, stepped closer to his girlfriend, and lowered his lips to her ear to whisper harshly- "Cut this shit out, we need to talk _privately_!"

Clare raised a brow in a humor and replied in a volume loud enough for the onlookers-

"What's there to talk about? I'm ending our relationship." Gasps and whispers broke out amongst the crowd as Eli felt the contents of his stomach begin to inch up his esophagus. Holding back the tears and vomit that threatened to spill, he tried once again to calm her down.

"Clare, you don't know what you're saying right now; you just drank a near lethal amount of alcohol and need to go home!" Clare rolled her eyes as Eli turned towards Adam.

"What the hell was she doing with Fitz?" He asked while scoping out the crowd for the boy in question.

Adam opened his mouth to speak but paused under the realization that he standing directly in the line of fire between his two best friends. He knew that his loyalty should've belonged to Eli; but there something in the way that Clare watched him with a detached indifference that lead him to believe it was wiser to cover for her in order to avoid certain doom.

Sparing a look between both sides of the battle- Eli, threatening to boil over with rage and Clare, bored yet terrifying, Adam merely shook his head tiredly.

"Ask her yourself." he murmured, before slinking off to the sidelines.

Eli turned to his (ex?) girlfriend and opened his mouth to ask her the same question, but she quickly beat him too it.

"I.F.F., Eli."

"Wh-What?" Eli sputtered, caught off guard by her quick words.

"I- F- F." she repeated, sounding out the letters.

"I-F-F?" Eli asked with confusion.

"I-F-F." she repeated with a nod, as if the mysterious phrase was common knowledge. Eli felt himself getting pissed again.

"What the hell does that mean?" he huffed.

"It's an abbreviation." she said simply, basking in the glow of his angry eyes. He let out a sarcastic chuckle.

"Ok, I'll fold, what does it mean?" Clare narrowed her eyes and looked him dead-on with a soft smirk.

"It stands for- I. Fucked. Fitz."

Time seemed to stand still for Eli at the moment that Clare's boastful voice broke through his eardrums. He couldn't hear the hushed murmurs of the crowd around the or the crackling of the bonfire. He couldn't even hear his own heaving breaths; all that he was aware of was the icy hot prickling in his chest as his heart threatened to dissolve within his own body.

She watched for his reaction, expecting a tirade of angry shouts and harsh words- but Eli remained catatonic as he struggled to verbally respond to her admittance of betrayal and adultery.

"What?" it was the only word he could utter, hoping that Clare would smile and punch his arm lightly, as if it were just some cruel joke she was playing. Surely she wasn't capable of cheating on him; she was too nice, too sweet and loyal to ever step out of bounds despite whatever obstacles their love faced.

"I'm pretty sure you heard me, Eli." Clare said in a soft, but all too serious tone.

A wave of harsh realization flooded through his mind: the Clare he knew (or once knew)- the caring, kind-hearted girl who refused to let up on him on his darkest days, the girl that brought him out of his post-Julia funk, the girl that gave him her word to never leave him, was gone. She had departed months ago, long before the summer when things started to go downhill for their romance.

He forced himself to turn a blind eye to her odd behavior and questionable alibis. Hell, he had watched kill a deer with a tire iron and moved past his one half-assed attempt to talk about it far too quickly. For all he knew, she had been drifting away from him for some time now; his thoughts quickly drifted back to seeing her and Shane at the Dot during the school year.

It wasn't just Clare who was full of lies, he had been lying to himself for the majority of their time together.

As the veil begun to lift itself amongst his own self-denial, Eli found himself madder than ever. But just as he was about to retaliate, to curse her out for all the lies and secrets, the sound of a loud engine broke his concentration, followed by the squeals of the crowd around them. The drunken group broke apart as a rusty pick-up truck pulled up in front of the couple.

Eli stood confused for a second before turning back to Clare, only to realize that she was currently getting into the passenger side of the truck.

"Where the fuck are you going?" he barked after her. Clare closed the door behind and looked out at him before rolling the window down. Eli stepped up to the truck and looked past Clare at the familiar figure in the driver's seat. It had been a while since his last encounter with Fitz; but the hatred he had for the other boy had grown exponentially in the past five minutes.

Fitz smirked at Eli, not saying a word as he nodded his head towards Clare and wiggled his eyebrows in a suggestive manner. A string of curse words started to pour out of Eli's mouth, but Clare could barely hear them over the roaring engine of the truck as Fitz stomped on the gas and sprayed sand out from behind the rear tires, dimming out the bonfire behind them.

As the drove back towards more solid terrain, Clare watched Eli's figure out the side mirror; despite the increasing distance, she could tell he was shaking violently with anger tears.

She was glad the entire thing with him was finally over.

* * *

**A/N- Damn, it's been a while.**


	15. Flee

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

** Chapter 15: Flee  
**

* * *

"So where do we go from here?"

Fitz's question snapped her out of her own thoughts. Clare looked over at him blankly before reaching into the glove box and pulling out one of the many opened boxes of cigarettes he kept jammed in there. She pulled one out and lit it before answering.

"Keep on this road for another 3 blocks and then turn left; there's something I need to do." He nodded, not bothering to squeeze more details out of her but instead motioned for her to hand over a cigarette. She pulled out another one, lit it and passed it to him.

"How you holding up?" he asked, exhaling a puff of smoke out of his window.

Clare laughed softly; "I'm feeling pretty relieved at the moment, but I don't think it will last for long."

"Why not?" he asked with puzzlement, "You dumped emo-boy so hard the earth shook." Fitz chuckled at his own joke, spurring Clare to the same.

"He'll contact me again before the summer is over; and it will either be to curse me out or work out our problems."

Fitz's demeanor iced over at the thought of Clare reuniting the boy he hated and envied so much.

"But you won't do that right? You've been sick of him for months." Clare sensed the desperate tone in his voice, but pushed it aside.

"I can't be connected to Eli anymore, not after what I spilled to Adam. He'll get all whiny about how I never fully opened up to him or some shit and I'll have to feign looking guilty." she huffed.

Fitz smirked at her words and pushed his fears of their reconciliation away.

"You're one cold-hearted woman, Edwards." His words sparked a flood of memories of her summer outings with her brother; stalking their victims and chopping them up into pieces. She grinned at the memory.

She continued to direct him to the mechanic shop where Bennett worked. Hopefully, he would still be there.

* * *

"Bennett?" Clare called out. She took a step inside the garage's front office, letting the door slam behind her. The office itself was dark, having closed for business hours ago. She walked around the front desk and walked into the still-lit garage, hoping that whoever was around knew where her brother was. A loud metal clang caused Clare to reach for the first tool she saw. Gripping a heavy wrench tightly in her hand, she slowly walked around a jacked-up station wagon to find the source of the noise.

Much to her relief (and confusion), her brother was moving around the room furiously, stuffing random objects into a duffel bag.

"Bennett!" she called out. Bennett, surprised by her voice, spun around quickly- pointing a pistol out in front of him. Clare's breath caught in her throat at the sight of the gun and the angry look etched onto her brother's face. But the expression he wore quickly faded into one of relief when he saw Clare standing before him. He lowered the gun and wiped off a bead of sweat from his brow.

"H-hey, where've you been all night." His voice sounded uneasy, but Clare let it slide.

"I uh, had to burn some bridges." she said warily. The happy drunkenness she had felt an hour ago had faded quickly after her confrontation with Eli.

"Yeah," Bennett nodded, "I know how that is." he said softly. "Is there anything else left that you have to burn?"

"No...I pretty much just told all my friends and boyfriend to fuck off."

"What about your so-called mother?"

"Oh, I burned that bridge months ago, but only pointed out the smouldering ashes to her recently." Bennett looked up from his duffel bag and smirked. "What's going on with you though? Running around like a mad man, packing, waving around a gun..."

Bennett stopped what he was doing and planted his hands on the work bench in front of him. He stared down at the hard wood, allowing his gaze to melt into the swirling grains for a brief moment before turning his attention back to his younger sister.

"I might be I trouble, Maya." he said gruffly, "And I don't plan on staying around long enough to find out for sure."

Clare's face fell.

"What happened?"

"You remember Chewy, right? One of the guys who works here." Clare thought back to her previous trips to the garage. She definitely re-called hearing the name 'Chewy' being thrown around, it was a unique name for a someone who wasn't part of the _Star Wars_ franchise.

"Uh, I remember the name, but can't re-call the face." she admitted. Bennett sighed heavily and motioned towards one the tow-trucks lined up in the garage. Clare shot him a questioning look before walking up to the truck and leaning over the side of the truck's bed to see badly beaten Hispanic man dressed in coveralls. "Shit," she murmured, "what did you do?"

"He found out that I slept with one of his cousins a few weeks back and then blew her off. You know how the Hispanics are; getting involved in the personal lives of family members even if it's none of their god damn business. Well Chewy confronted me, started getting a little handsy and threatened to tear my balls off..." he paused, "I guess I overreacted."

"You're telling me..." Clare whispered as she continued to stare at the man in the truck bed. Even if she had remembered what Chewy looked like, it wasn't like she could recognize him; his face was nothing more than a caved-in whole filled with blood, teeth, and shattered bone. "Tire iron to the face?" she guessed aloud.

"It was the closest thing nearby when he started charging." Bennett shrugged. "Look, not only do I need to get rid of the body, but I gotta get out of Canada _tonight_." he put much emphasis on the last word. "Chewy comes from a big, tight-knit family; people are going to notice that he is missing and I can't risk the chance of being caught." He explained. Clare looked at her brother with sadness; he had only recently come back into her life and now he was abandoning her and all they had accomplished in the few short months in which they had been reunited.

"Come with me." Clare's head shot up at his short proposal.

"What?"

"Come with me." he repeated, "You burned all the bridges that needed to be burnt, right? Then come with me- there's nothing left here to hold you back."

"Where would we go?"

"Ultimately? Not sure yet. But if I don't leave Canada tonight, my chances of being a wanted man are gastronomical." Clare bit her lip in thought. She had always planned to leave behind everyone she ever knew in Toronto- Helen, her Degrassi classmates, her so-called friends. The only undecided factor was when. As time went on, graduating from high school seemed less and less important. She was 16 and had spent most of her life outsmarting the her family, her peers, her teachers and the authorities. Come to think of it, the only thing that tied her to this lie of a life was school.

Her face lightened in realization.

She was going to do it.

She was going to leave everything behind, every friend she made, every impression she influenced; she would throw it away to be who she really was. It all made her think- she should've done this much sooner. Perhaps taking Shane's advice all those months ago and leaving Toronto would've worked out for her. But then Bennett came into her life, and it was like one of the missing pieces of herself reappeared. She would never feel complete, because she would never be complete, and she accepted that fact like she accepted the realization that eventually, she would leave everyone behind in Toronto. If not now, than in a couple years when she graduated high school. Bennett was just giving her the push she needed, the reasoning to give up on living a lie when there was no one making her. Randall was dead, and Helen had no control over her. She was free.

But then her eyebrows knitted together at another realization-

"Fitz!" she murmured. He had been waiting for her outside in his truck, probably bored stiff by now.

"Who the fuck is Fitz?" Bennett rasped as he finally zipped up his duffel bag. Clare opened her mouth to explain when the banging of the front door interrupted her train of thought. Bennett perked up instantly, clenching his pistol tightly in his palm and raising it to eye-level.

What happened next went by too fast for Clare to comprehend on the spot. Fitz briskly entered the garage, calling out her name.

"Clare! Clare you're taking forever, is everything alright?" His eyes were glazed over in panic, much like the time months ago, when Clare had threatened his life as a joke. A loud explosion next to her ear caused Clare to shut her eyes, grimacing in pain as the loud noise tore through her eardrums leaving behind a faint ringing noise coupled with a throbbing sensation. She opened her eyes to see Fitz, bleeding out his chest on the ground.

Clare fell forward onto her knees and checked for a pulse, but it was pointless, the gun shot had killed him almost instantly.

"Who the fuck is that!" Bennett seethed, his eyes prickling with distrust as he watched his younger sister stare at the intruder with concern.

"He's my-" Clare stalled. What was Fitz to her anyway? A friend? Lover? Kindred spirit? "Partner." she breathed out, a fitting description of their relationship.

"Partner?" Bennett quirked his eyebrow. "Like a lab partner or a sex buddy? I don't know what kids your age call anything anymore." Bennett shrugged, showing no concern over another dead body to get rid of.

"It's complicated." Clare murmured as she gazed at Fitz.

"How complicated?" he asked. She remained silent, furthering his unease. Without thinking, he grabbed onto her shoulder and roughly pulled her off the floor to look into her eyes directly. "You had better start talking."

Most girls would've flinched at the prospect of being jerked around by a man who had just killed two people with no remorse; but Clare was not that type of girl. She didn't even know how to pretend to be that type of girl anymore. She was too occupied with trying to access her feelings (if she had any left) over Fitz's death to feel uneasy around her manic brother. Sighing deeply, Clare recounted as briefly as she could- the details of her relationship with Fitz.

Bennett's face remained blank as he listened to his sibling quickly skim through the details of her relationship with the dead teen on the floor. It was all rather trivial to him- the feud with Eli, the night she made him piss himself, the drugs, the cheating- none of it made him view his sister any different. But then, she mentioned their adventures together while Bennett had been tracking down their mother's killer.

"You took him to the kill spot? To our kill spot?" he growled.

Clare suddenly felt stupid for mentioning it; but it wasn't like Fitz would ever willingly help the police track down a couple of killers.

"It's not that big of a deal; we went there once- killed some old coot, cleaned up and left."

"So what is he then? Your killing buddy?" Bennett fired back.

"Sort of, I guess."

"Wrong!" he yelled. "I am the only partner in crime you need, Maya." He held up his left hand, displaying the tattoo they both gotten months ago- _Born in blood._ Clare looked down at her own wrist and realized that there was nothing she could do for Fitz now. He was the one person that she would stay in Toronto for and now he was dead. The best thing for them was to drop the argument, dispose of the bodies and get past the border before sunrise.

"You're right, Bennett." Clare nodded, "I've wasted enough time here." but she wasn't talking about the events that occurred in the garage within the last half hour.

Bennett said nothing, his lips only twisted into a knowing smirk that she soon emulated.

* * *

With little time to spare, the siblings decided to simply wrap both of the bodies in tarps and stuff them into the back of one of the garage's tow-trucks which they would ditch once they crossed into the States. Somewhere, between the city of Toronto and the border, they planned to abandon the bodies on the side of the road.

"Alright," Bennett said as he unlocked the safe under the front counter, "take all this cash and stuff into one of those manilla envelopes." he instructed Clare. She nodded and reached for a handful of cash when her phone began ringing. She looked down at the caller ID to see Eli's name flashing in bright letters. She hit the ignore button and turned back to the task her brother had given her.

"Clare!" a familiar voice screamed from outside the garage's front entrance. Clare froze, knowing full well who the voice belonged to.

"Who the fuck is that?" Bennett whispered. They were both kneeling behind the counter. Clare was about to answer when they heard loud banging on the other side of the door.

"Clare! Fitz! I know you're both in there! I can recognize your shitty truck you asshole!"

"It's Eli." Clare groaned. Bennett pursed his lips before nodding curtly.

"Answer the door."

"What?"

"Just answer the door and keep him right there. Say whatever you have to say, just make sure he doesn't leave or god forbid push his way inside and see what we've done." Bennett instructed before sliding back into the garage.

"What do you mean 'we've done'?" Clare whispered sarcastically to no one. Taking one long breath to steady her nerves, she stood up behind the counter and looked out the glass door to see Eli, shaking with tears and anger. Clare made her way over to the door and unlocked it, opening it slowly.

"Where is he?" Eli growled,"Where is that bastard?" much to her relief, he didn't make any movements to push past her.

"What are you even doing here, Eli?" she asked tiredly.

"I blew off a little steam, ended up punching out Morty's passenger side window." he said fumed. "Much to my own surprise, I see Fitz's truck park outside this, my preferred mechanic's shop." he waved his hand, motioning to their surroundings. "I wasn't trying to find you, Clare." he stressed.

"Really?" she asked, unconvinced. "Surely you'd know that the garage is closed this late in the night."

"Happy coincidence." he shrugged. Unable to hold a look of anger any longer, Eli's face melted into desperation. "Clare, come on. We don't have to end like this."

"Oh my god Eli! I willingly cheated on you!" she reminded him, loudly. "How could you want me back!"

"Because this isn't you! I know it isn't, Clare!" he argued. "You're just still grieving over losing so much of your family in such a short time. But it's okay, we can get you help! I can help you!"

"No you can't Eli! You can't fix me!"

"Clare, I lo-" but his words were cut short as a rag soaked in chloroform covered his mouth. Bennett, who had quickly snuck around the side of the building while the couple exchanged words, wrapped his free hand around the younger man's torso, pinning down his arms from trying to break free. Once he was sure Eli was fully sedated, he dropped the rag to ground and turned towards Clare who seemed unphased, yet relieved by his actions.

"So, what now, Maya?"

She looked at Eli's face- still moist with tears and sweat from the emotional night. There was only one thing she could do.

* * *

A/N: I'm thinking next chapter=last chapter.


	16. Dearly Departed

A/N: Last chapter, better late than never. Short, "sweet" and to the point.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

** Chapter 16:Dearly departed  
**

Maya Anderson wiped away the beads of sweat that formed on her brow and took a sip from the glass clenched in her hand. It was hot; insanely hot. But that was nothing unusual for late summer in Miami. She craned her neck up slightly, peering out in search of her brother amongst the crowd of beach goers, but he was nowhere to be seen. She sighed and leaned back into the vinyl cafe chair she was currently resting upon.

A familiar face caused her breathing to hitch as she laid eyes on a dark haired boy strutting down the boardwalk in a pair of cut-off shorts with his discarded t-shirt tucked into the back pocket. His bangs elegantly swooped off the side as his emerald eyes sparkled in the harsh light of the sun. For a moment, she thought she had gone insane; but her fears were soon calmed when she realized that the boy in question was too tall and much to tan to be...him.

While taking occasional sips of her drink, Maya allowed herself to get lost in a memory from only a few weeks prior...

* * *

_Eli's eyes began to flicker open as the chloroform finally began to wear off. Confused and disorientated, he coughed slightly at the harsh chemical taste that still lingered on his lips. An uncomfortable jab in his lower back cause him to examine his surroundings only to realize that he had no idea where he was. He tried to lift himself up, but with no success as he soon realized that his hands were bound together behind him, making it impossible to sit up. He tried kicking himself up, but his legs were bound as well. Panic began to sink in._

_He soon remembered what happened before he passed out, who he was talking to..._

_"Clare!" he yelled, "Where are you? What the hell is going on?" As he became more alert, Eli realized that he was lying in a newly dug hole, five foot walls of dirt surrounding him. He was terrified, but much more concerned over the state of his (ex?) girlfriend than his own life. What if they (whoever chloroformed him) got her too?_

_"Clare!" he screamed again._

_"Hello, Eli." a familiar voice drawled. He arched his neck to see Bennett, standing above at the head-end of the hole._

_"What the hell is going on? Where's Clare?" he rasped._

_"Clare?" Bennett shot him a confused look as he circled the hole, Eli's eyes following his every step. "Who's that?"_

_"My girlfriend Clare! You've met her before. She was with me before I-" Eli's voice cut off when he realized that Bennett was clearly fucking with him, standing there with a conceited look on his face, taking pleasure in his torment._

_"I can't seem to re-call meeting anyone by the name of Clare, but on the subject of meeting new people, have I introduced you to my sister yet?" Bennett asked, "Maya!"_

_Eli's stomach dropped when another more familiar face came into view._

_The girl formerly known as Clare stared down at him with unreadable eyes._

_"I'll give you kids a moment alone." Bennett grinned, stomping off towards his truck. Eli stared up at his girlfriend, his concern over his bound limbs had dissipated quickly._

_He breathed out harshly, "So it was true. Adam told me what you told him, but I thought he was full of shit."_

_"Yeah." Clare nodded. "Are you mad? About being lied to?"_

_"Of course I'm mad!" Eli snapped. "But your lying isn't the big problem right now if you didn't notice." he added with sarcasm, motioning to his restrained limbs._

_Clare merely shrugged. Eli felt his eyes watering up._

_"God dammit, Clare...you could've just told me! You didn't have to keep it all a secret, I would've helped you-"_

_"How the fuck could you ever be any help to me?" Clare interjected angrily._

_"What's that supposed to mean?" he felt a little more than insulted._

_"I watched my mother get torn apart my dogs and got taken in by a family of bible-humpers who changed my name and forced me to be someone I'm not! Unless you have a time machine or a memory eraser, your help won't do shit!"_

_"But you could've at least talked to me!" he pushed, "Instead you run around behind my back with Fitz of all people, as if your trying to jab the knife deeper. It's hard to tell if you were trying to hurt me or yourself with all the drugs you two were choking down!" Clare rolled her eyes at his judgmental tone. "My god, of all people to cheat on me with..."_

_"We all have our vices, Eli. Mine was once you." Eli bit his lip his frustration.  
_

_"I always opened up to you about my problems." he seethed.  
_

_"What? You mean how your fifteen year old girlfriend got hit by a car and you had trouble with throwing all her shit out? Oh wow, I never realized how much we had in common!" she said sardonically._

_"Why are you acting like this?"_

_"It's not an act."_

_The two teen found themselves in a state of sudden silence._

_Clare looked towards Bennett who was leaning against the truck and motioning to his watch. She would have to wrap this up._

_"You looked into my eyes and saw a silver of something good, even though nothing was there."_

_"But it is, Clare." he insisted, "you are a good person." she chuckled at his naivety._

_"You can't be a killer and a good person at the same time, Eli. It doesn't work that way."_

_"What? Killer, I-" Eli sputtered. "Stop talking like that! You're confusing me!"_

_"Oh but Eli, I thought you wanted me to tell the truth." she deadpanned, wanting to get the exchange to be over with._

_"Just get me out of this hole and we can talk!" he pleaded, while trying wiggle out of the restraints. Clare watched him with detached interest. The sound of a throat being cleared caught her attention. She turned her head to see Bennett tapping his foot impatiently with one hand shoved into his pocket while the other swung a jug of gasoline back and forth. Knowing that she had already wasted enough time, Clare nodded and Bennett slid the jug over to her and turned around to fetch the other bodies out of the truck._

_"I don't think you really understand what's going on here." She tilted the jug over the hole and began dosing her former lover with the acrid liquid._

_"Ah, what the fuck!" Eli yelped, realizing at once what was soaking his clothes was highly flammable. _

_Clare stood still as she watched Eli rolling about on the ground. She wasn't sure what to do next. She knew what needed to be done, but what to say- and how to say it..._

_"Sorry sis, we're running a schedule. No time for long goodbyes." Bennett rambled as he brushed past her while digging out a a book of matches from his pocket. Eli's eyes grew wide and his pleas turned into unintelligible screams at the realization of what was about to happen. Just as he was about to strike one, Clare snatched the matchbook out of Bennett's hand_

_"I have to be the one to do this." _

_Bennett eyed her for a moment, as if he didn't trust her to really go through with it. Clare's heart staggered at his hesitation, but relaxed when he nodded and silently handed her the match between his thumb and index finger. She looked down at Eli, his screams having died into awe and fear at her words. His cheeks were stained with tears and dirt and his hair had never been more unkempt._

_"I want you to know the truth. You weren't my first fuck, and you won't be my first ki- human kill-" she said, thinking back to the deer incident and all the dogs that died at her hands before that. "This might seem hard to believe, and hell, even pointless now- but you're not the first guy I've literally burnt alive," she struck the match, "and I doubt you'll be the last." she held the flame to the matchbook, instantly setting it ablaze. _

_She made eye contact with him, one last time, "Just so you know- I never wanted it to end this way." And with a flick the wrist, she sent the flaming matchbook towards Eli. _

_The sight of him engulfed in flames and flailing on the ground was almost too much for her. Bennett tapped her on the shoulder and asked her to help him unload the bodies of Chewy and Fitz to join the flaming remains of her ex-boyfriend._

_She was finally free._

* * *

"Something catching your eye there, sis?" Maya found herself torn away from her memories as Bennett sat down in the seat across from her, sliding a fresh drink her way._  
_

"More like someone actually." she admitted, motioning towards the boy who looked just like..._him_. The older sibling craned his neck to see the boy leaning against the wooden railing of the boardwalk, eyes closed and face tilted towards the sun.

"Interesting resemblance, don't you think?" he teased. Maya nodded.

"It's almost uncanny."

The boy opened his eyes again, blinking under the intensity of the sun. His gaze fell on Maya who continued to stare at him. The corner of his mouth twisted into a smirk as he puffed out his chest a little and sent her a knowing wink. For a slit second, Maya felt a pain of guilt cut through her body. She shot him back small smile before he slowly turned and continued walking down the boardwalk.

"Do you think we should?" Bennett asked her, his voice laced with persuasion. Maya turned to him.

"I don't see any reason why not." The two siblings exchanged sadistic grins before standing up the table and embarking on the trail of their next victim.

The End


End file.
